(And now for those profound thoughts I was talking about)
Never stop believing in fairy tales
Never stop waiting for true love
Never stop hoping for miracles
Never stop being optimistic
Never stop singing in the shower
Never stop being starstruck
Never stop listening for Santa
Never stop dreaming
Never stop hoping
Never stop believing
Never stop being true
Never stop looking
Never stop fantasizing
Never stop being who you want to be
Never stop standing up for your beliefs
Never stop believing in miracles.
Never stop living life to the fullest, no matter what people say, no matter how hard it is, no matter what.
30.10.05
24.10.05
Outsiders
We've seen some change
But we're still outsiders
If everybody's here
Then hell knows
We ride alone
I've seen some years
But you're still my Caesar
With everything I feel
I feel you've already been here
The only difference is all I see
Is now all that I've seen
It's bright on the outside
The bright love the dark side
I know it's obvious
But sometimes
You just have to say it
So you don't feel so weak
About being such a freak
Or alone
In seventeen years
Will you still be Camille
Lee Miller, Gala or whatever
You know what I mean, yeah
Love'll die
Lovers fade
But you still remain there
Squeezing in your fingers
What it means for me to be
The only difference is what might be
Is now what might have been
When you saw me sleeping
You thought I was dreaming of you
I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
The only difference is that what might be
Is now
Fall asleep, fall asleep, fall asleep
I didn't think I would like this song. I had read (I think Rollingstone) that it wasn't a particularly strong track, so I was rather suprised by my reaction. First of all the melody is so enticing to my musical side. I mean, geeze. Not even the Beatles used that mode, I think. Also the middle part really...well, thats what all my livejournal communities and fansites and the music do for me. I know it's obvious/But sometimes/You just have to say it/So you don't feel so weak/About being such a freak/Or alone Listening to the ballads and such make me feel better. They make feel stronger. I know I'm not so weird if I know there's someone else feeling or thinking the way I do. Everyone wants to be apart of something. No one wants to be alone.
But we're still outsiders
If everybody's here
Then hell knows
We ride alone
I've seen some years
But you're still my Caesar
With everything I feel
I feel you've already been here
The only difference is all I see
Is now all that I've seen
It's bright on the outside
The bright love the dark side
I know it's obvious
But sometimes
You just have to say it
So you don't feel so weak
About being such a freak
Or alone
In seventeen years
Will you still be Camille
Lee Miller, Gala or whatever
You know what I mean, yeah
Love'll die
Lovers fade
But you still remain there
Squeezing in your fingers
What it means for me to be
The only difference is what might be
Is now what might have been
When you saw me sleeping
You thought I was dreaming of you
I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
The only difference is that what might be
Is now
Fall asleep, fall asleep, fall asleep
I didn't think I would like this song. I had read (I think Rollingstone) that it wasn't a particularly strong track, so I was rather suprised by my reaction. First of all the melody is so enticing to my musical side. I mean, geeze. Not even the Beatles used that mode, I think. Also the middle part really...well, thats what all my livejournal communities and fansites and the music do for me. I know it's obvious/But sometimes/You just have to say it/So you don't feel so weak/About being such a freak/Or alone Listening to the ballads and such make me feel better. They make feel stronger. I know I'm not so weird if I know there's someone else feeling or thinking the way I do. Everyone wants to be apart of something. No one wants to be alone.
I Needed This
Everyone needs a good laugh right? So here's one curtesy of some hilarious gents. More specifically Paul Smith and Lukas Wooller of les Maxie Poo. Paul is particularly funny.
Laugh Me Ass Off Please
In regards to YCHISMB, I'll give my op-ed...well just think about the concerts. I say one thing but really don't do it. Just know this --- I love it all. Especially track 7. If you don't know what that is, look it up. Mwhahaha.
Laugh Me Ass Off Please
In regards to YCHISMB, I'll give my op-ed...well just think about the concerts. I say one thing but really don't do it. Just know this --- I love it all. Especially track 7. If you don't know what that is, look it up. Mwhahaha.
21.10.05
To That Statue with the Dictionary
:cries: This is the most beautiful song ever. Oh my God, it is just so beautiful and sweet and...I WANT A BOYFRIEND TO WRITE ME BEAUTIFUL SONGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, I got my cd. I'm very happy. And the song I was talking about is "Eleanor Put Your Boots On." It is the most beautiful song ever. With piano and all sorts of coolness.
I'll give a full report after I listen to this a few more (read 100) times. Right now I'll tell you this: Much different, yet sort of the same. It's like they took "Come On Home" and flew. In a way. Different, yet familiar.
So I had a bloody miserable afternoon/early evening. Marching band has never been so god awful. Drizzle and cold weather is not fun to march in. I was feeling like absolute shit, so when I saw it was Dad picking me, I was rather disappointed. Mums always makes me feel better. At least I feel more comfortable talking to her. So Dad and I were listening to the News Hour on NPR. Dad really likes this show and we were on my "favorite" part, the analysis of Brooks and sometimes Shields. Tonight it was Oliphont who wears cool bow ties. I was content to listen. I found it rather odd that Dad said to turn on the cd player. He was "bored with this stuff." The cd came on and something about the opening riff seemed vaguely familiar. The style I suppose. Then I heard the riff I had heard two days after the cd was released. THE FALLEN!!! I started screaming (good screaming, not bad screaming) and Dad just smiled. Franzie to the rescue, per usual. So I'm fairly happy now.
Lets see, anything else? Jackie, Iris, and Susan watched me in the Homecoming parade. I was feeling pretty shitty when I saw them, so it was pretty cool to see them. I'm doing something with Jackie tomorrow. We shall see who else comes. Go Hitchhiker's!!
:yells: "This Boy" should be called something else!!!!!!!!!! It's not "This Boy"!!!!!! Grrr.
FF KC Ke Ki MP
Oh, I got my cd. I'm very happy. And the song I was talking about is "Eleanor Put Your Boots On." It is the most beautiful song ever. With piano and all sorts of coolness.
I'll give a full report after I listen to this a few more (read 100) times. Right now I'll tell you this: Much different, yet sort of the same. It's like they took "Come On Home" and flew. In a way. Different, yet familiar.
So I had a bloody miserable afternoon/early evening. Marching band has never been so god awful. Drizzle and cold weather is not fun to march in. I was feeling like absolute shit, so when I saw it was Dad picking me, I was rather disappointed. Mums always makes me feel better. At least I feel more comfortable talking to her. So Dad and I were listening to the News Hour on NPR. Dad really likes this show and we were on my "favorite" part, the analysis of Brooks and sometimes Shields. Tonight it was Oliphont who wears cool bow ties. I was content to listen. I found it rather odd that Dad said to turn on the cd player. He was "bored with this stuff." The cd came on and something about the opening riff seemed vaguely familiar. The style I suppose. Then I heard the riff I had heard two days after the cd was released. THE FALLEN!!! I started screaming (good screaming, not bad screaming) and Dad just smiled. Franzie to the rescue, per usual. So I'm fairly happy now.
Lets see, anything else? Jackie, Iris, and Susan watched me in the Homecoming parade. I was feeling pretty shitty when I saw them, so it was pretty cool to see them. I'm doing something with Jackie tomorrow. We shall see who else comes. Go Hitchhiker's!!
:yells: "This Boy" should be called something else!!!!!!!!!! It's not "This Boy"!!!!!! Grrr.
FF KC Ke Ki MP
18.10.05
I know you...
"I know you, I waltzed with you once upon a dream
I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar to me
And I know it's true that visions are seldom what they seem
But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once, the way you did once
Upon a dream"
Good song. Good song.
I'm waiting ever so patiently for my cd. I've been waiting ever so patiently for two weeks. I hate waiting ever so patiently. Until I get, I'll be mentioning this on Tuesdays. Just so you know.
Band tonight, band thursday, band friday, band tuesday, band thursday, band friday, band saturday, band tuesday, band thursday, band friday. No more band. Yay!!!
Goodnight, or good evening. I'm off.
I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar to me
And I know it's true that visions are seldom what they seem
But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once, the way you did once
Upon a dream"
Good song. Good song.
I'm waiting ever so patiently for my cd. I've been waiting ever so patiently for two weeks. I hate waiting ever so patiently. Until I get, I'll be mentioning this on Tuesdays. Just so you know.
Band tonight, band thursday, band friday, band tuesday, band thursday, band friday, band saturday, band tuesday, band thursday, band friday. No more band. Yay!!!
Goodnight, or good evening. I'm off.
17.10.05
Lyrics part III (or something like that)
I know I'm not working hard enough when I can update my journal two days in a row. Oh well, I'll just suck it up.
I really don't have much to say. I actually just wanted to post lyrics to these two songs I really like. They're neat. And depressing in their own special ways. Yay!! (blue!!)
Modern Way (Kaiser Chiefs :does the fake shock face:)
I know '‘cos I've seen it
It was great and I want it
There'’s no point in sitting
Going crazy on my own
Do you know what
I was put here in the world for
Could you tell me
In three words or more
It's the only way of getting out of here
It's the only way of getting out of here
Take a lesson
From the ones who have been there
My brain is not damaged
But in need of some repair
Hold on to the basics
But we can't change all our tactics
There's no point in sitting
Going crazy on your own
It's the only way of getting out of here
It's the only way of getting out of here
This is the modern way
Of faking it everyday
And taking it as we come
We're not the only ones
Is that what we used to say
This is the modern way
I know where I'm going
And that we are in the knowing
And I will stop at nothing
Just to get what I want
It's the only way of getting out of here
It's the only way of getting out of here
This is the modern way
Of faking it everyday
And taking it as we come
We're not the only ones
Is that what we used to say
This is the modern way (hard to read yellow!!)
Toto Dies (Nellie McKay)
And when the dawn breaks through the drums start
beating the morning to the farm
your grimace widens and your lips part
sounding the silent alarm
and when the bells explode they scatter
hitching a hand unto the breeze
the grand bureaucracy grows fatter
whistling the old melodies
oh-ee-oh goes the Buckingham jewel guard
oh-ee-oh goes the cop on the beat
oh-ee-oh goes the kid in the schoolyard
oh-ee-oh goes the kid on the street
Hey man what'’s happenin'’ with you?
I watched that episode too
maybe I'’ll get some Chinese
I'’ll have the dumplings
no MSG please
And when the night breaks through they wonder
if all they lost was self-respect
they pass the homes of greed and plunder
still, ling'’ring on, the disconnect
oh-ee-oh sittin' down for the evening
oh-ee-oh through the civil earthquake
oh-ee-oh safe in bed and they'’re dreamin'
heaven knows if they'll ever awake
Yeah I'’ll have my coffee black
hey look we'’re bombing Iraq
I guess thatÂ’s the only way
oh did I tell you we got Fifi spayed?
and when they get to work they hear drums
the boom fills all the empty space
they file papers lada-dee-dum
trimming their shoebox with lace
oh-ee-oh but there'’s somethin'’ a growin'
oh-ee-oh through the bustle and hiss
oh-ee-oh fuck the lawns that need mowin'
oh-ee-oh there is somethin'’ amiss
oh-ee-oh oh-ee-oh oh-ee-oh
oh-ee-oh-ee-oh-ee-oh (pink!!)
Another song you should listen to is "Jingle Jangle" by Hot Hot Heat. Also depressing in a way. Or anything by the Kinks. Also kind of sad. The neat thing about those two songs/bands is the tune and rhythm are pretty upbeat, so you don't feel like you're listening to depressing as heck songs. My favorite kind of depressing music. The deceptive kind. (green!!)
I really don't have much to say. I actually just wanted to post lyrics to these two songs I really like. They're neat. And depressing in their own special ways. Yay!! (blue!!)
Modern Way (Kaiser Chiefs :does the fake shock face:)
I know '‘cos I've seen it
It was great and I want it
There'’s no point in sitting
Going crazy on my own
Do you know what
I was put here in the world for
Could you tell me
In three words or more
It's the only way of getting out of here
It's the only way of getting out of here
Take a lesson
From the ones who have been there
My brain is not damaged
But in need of some repair
Hold on to the basics
But we can't change all our tactics
There's no point in sitting
Going crazy on your own
It's the only way of getting out of here
It's the only way of getting out of here
This is the modern way
Of faking it everyday
And taking it as we come
We're not the only ones
Is that what we used to say
This is the modern way
I know where I'm going
And that we are in the knowing
And I will stop at nothing
Just to get what I want
It's the only way of getting out of here
It's the only way of getting out of here
This is the modern way
Of faking it everyday
And taking it as we come
We're not the only ones
Is that what we used to say
This is the modern way (hard to read yellow!!)
Toto Dies (Nellie McKay)
And when the dawn breaks through the drums start
beating the morning to the farm
your grimace widens and your lips part
sounding the silent alarm
and when the bells explode they scatter
hitching a hand unto the breeze
the grand bureaucracy grows fatter
whistling the old melodies
oh-ee-oh goes the Buckingham jewel guard
oh-ee-oh goes the cop on the beat
oh-ee-oh goes the kid in the schoolyard
oh-ee-oh goes the kid on the street
Hey man what'’s happenin'’ with you?
I watched that episode too
maybe I'’ll get some Chinese
I'’ll have the dumplings
no MSG please
And when the night breaks through they wonder
if all they lost was self-respect
they pass the homes of greed and plunder
still, ling'’ring on, the disconnect
oh-ee-oh sittin' down for the evening
oh-ee-oh through the civil earthquake
oh-ee-oh safe in bed and they'’re dreamin'
heaven knows if they'll ever awake
Yeah I'’ll have my coffee black
hey look we'’re bombing Iraq
I guess thatÂ’s the only way
oh did I tell you we got Fifi spayed?
and when they get to work they hear drums
the boom fills all the empty space
they file papers lada-dee-dum
trimming their shoebox with lace
oh-ee-oh but there'’s somethin'’ a growin'
oh-ee-oh through the bustle and hiss
oh-ee-oh fuck the lawns that need mowin'
oh-ee-oh there is somethin'’ amiss
oh-ee-oh oh-ee-oh oh-ee-oh
oh-ee-oh-ee-oh-ee-oh (pink!!)
Another song you should listen to is "Jingle Jangle" by Hot Hot Heat. Also depressing in a way. Or anything by the Kinks. Also kind of sad. The neat thing about those two songs/bands is the tune and rhythm are pretty upbeat, so you don't feel like you're listening to depressing as heck songs. My favorite kind of depressing music. The deceptive kind. (green!!)
16.10.05
Bend and Break
My cd has yet to come. I offically hate Sony. I don't hate Franzie, I hate Sony. In this hate for Sony I will listen to Keane non-stop until I get the new Franzie. Or something like that.
Dad has the mumps. Mums has lost 11 pounds due to stress. Sophs is depressed. Me? I painted my finger nails navy blue. I'm actually doing pretty well. I went to see a play with Jackie on Saturday then I went over to her house and did a jigsaw puzzle with her, Iris, and Angel. I had a blast. I'm the only person in my family who isn't feeling like shit for one reason or another. Pretty special for me.
November 4. The last day of marching band and the last day of the quarter. I'm literally counting down the days. Well not literally, literally, but more theoretically. Which isn't literally at all but thats really beside the point. I'm excited to say the least. It's all almost over!!! Hopefully the rest of the season will go well and the rest of the quarter will go well too. That way I can get my mp3 back!!! w00t!!
My clarinet helps me compensate for my low singing range. :nods:
Not much else to report. It was really weird talking to Sophs today. She just sounded exactly the way I must have sounded when I was at Stu in 9th grade. It was almost scary in a way. Depression sucks ass. :contemplates the tone of last sentence: Hmmm, I really do mean that seriously ya know. The worst part is that you, by yourself, can do nothing to stop depression. Eating, sleeping, singing, none of it helps. So sad.
"If only I don't bend and break
I'll meet you on the otherside
I'll meet you in the light..."
Dad has the mumps. Mums has lost 11 pounds due to stress. Sophs is depressed. Me? I painted my finger nails navy blue. I'm actually doing pretty well. I went to see a play with Jackie on Saturday then I went over to her house and did a jigsaw puzzle with her, Iris, and Angel. I had a blast. I'm the only person in my family who isn't feeling like shit for one reason or another. Pretty special for me.
November 4. The last day of marching band and the last day of the quarter. I'm literally counting down the days. Well not literally, literally, but more theoretically. Which isn't literally at all but thats really beside the point. I'm excited to say the least. It's all almost over!!! Hopefully the rest of the season will go well and the rest of the quarter will go well too. That way I can get my mp3 back!!! w00t!!
My clarinet helps me compensate for my low singing range. :nods:
Not much else to report. It was really weird talking to Sophs today. She just sounded exactly the way I must have sounded when I was at Stu in 9th grade. It was almost scary in a way. Depression sucks ass. :contemplates the tone of last sentence: Hmmm, I really do mean that seriously ya know. The worst part is that you, by yourself, can do nothing to stop depression. Eating, sleeping, singing, none of it helps. So sad.
"If only I don't bend and break
I'll meet you on the otherside
I'll meet you in the light..."
12.10.05
Review
I can always count on the Washington Post to give a review of the show I saw last whenever. Here it is for your reading pleasure the review of Monday's concert.
In other news, there is no other news. Read the review while I curse out Sony. A week, a goddamn fucking week!
In other news, there is no other news. Read the review while I curse out Sony. A week, a goddamn fucking week!
11.10.05
Things
The back of my neck hurts. I'm hoping this has nothing to do with last night. I feel fairly confident that it doesn't, but honestly ya never know. I just want my neck to stop hurting.
I did my English oral today. People seemed impressed with how I did. I was nervous the whole time and couldn't think straight. My transitions sucked, but at least I tried to have some fluency between each subject. I had too many quotes, but when I realized that I has mostly done and really wanted to include the quotes that I had left. Damn I sucked. I honestly don't care what Alex and Kaitlyn said, I didn't like my oral. I'm going to have indigestion the rest of the day. I hate this.
I will again fail to write properly about the concert last night. Sophs thinks it's a futile excersise and quite frankly I haven't been able to do it, so I'm not going to try. I will say this though --- I wish that I could here Ricky's voice everday and that I knew someone half as cool as Dave Grohl, Rivers Como (lead singer o' Weezer) and Ricky. It was, to use Dave's favorite curse word, fucking awsome.
I did my English oral today. People seemed impressed with how I did. I was nervous the whole time and couldn't think straight. My transitions sucked, but at least I tried to have some fluency between each subject. I had too many quotes, but when I realized that I has mostly done and really wanted to include the quotes that I had left. Damn I sucked. I honestly don't care what Alex and Kaitlyn said, I didn't like my oral. I'm going to have indigestion the rest of the day. I hate this.
I will again fail to write properly about the concert last night. Sophs thinks it's a futile excersise and quite frankly I haven't been able to do it, so I'm not going to try. I will say this though --- I wish that I could here Ricky's voice everday and that I knew someone half as cool as Dave Grohl, Rivers Como (lead singer o' Weezer) and Ricky. It was, to use Dave's favorite curse word, fucking awsome.
Last Night
"We've been hired to warm you up."- Ricky :swoon:
Set List
Na Na Na Na Na
Saturday Night
Everday I Love You Less and Less
Sink That Ship :yearns for single:
I Predict a Riot
Modern Way
OMG
Kaiser Chiefs...I love them, but very few last night loved them. Twas terribly sad. Ricky was horribly frustrated. It was their last night. Soon they go off to the UK to tour avec The Cribs and les Maxie poo. :wishes she lived in UK:
"Are you ready to be conquered?"- Ricky
Set List
Na Na Na Na Na
Saturday Night
Everday I Love You Less and Less
Sink That Ship :yearns for single:
I Predict a Riot
Modern Way
OMG
Kaiser Chiefs...I love them, but very few last night loved them. Twas terribly sad. Ricky was horribly frustrated. It was their last night. Soon they go off to the UK to tour avec The Cribs and les Maxie poo. :wishes she lived in UK:
"Are you ready to be conquered?"- Ricky
6.10.05
Bad News
Oh my little fishes I need some good news asap. I have C's in two of my favorite classes. I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Mums and Dad. It's such a huge disappointment to me and I know it will be an even bigger one to them. I can kind of explain the history grade, but English? I don't know what I'm going to do. The thought of having to explain this them just makes me sick. I know it's just an interim and that I'll have lots of oppurtunties to make up for the lackluster performance, but still. Ugh...I just feel awful.
Ya know what else is bugging me? My lack of the YCHISMB. I ordered it from Sony so I'm getting a bonus cd for free, but they didn't send out the thing until yesterday. So far the only songs I've heard from the new cd are "Do You Want To?" and "The Fallen." I heard "The Fallen" last night on the Hard Rock concert thingy on MTV and I must say, I really like it. There's no doubt in my mind I'll like the rest of the CD, I just really, really want it. Ugh, this waiting is killing me.
A home game, homecoming, states, another home game. Another month of marching band. :sighs: I'm going to die in that month. These grades and marching band will sap me of what little creative output I have. I have choir. I have my bands. I have English and History. I know I'll make it. I hope I can.
Call out to Avers: A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings. Remember that? From 9th grade? Booya. Rereading. So much fun.
Ya know what else is bugging me? My lack of the YCHISMB. I ordered it from Sony so I'm getting a bonus cd for free, but they didn't send out the thing until yesterday. So far the only songs I've heard from the new cd are "Do You Want To?" and "The Fallen." I heard "The Fallen" last night on the Hard Rock concert thingy on MTV and I must say, I really like it. There's no doubt in my mind I'll like the rest of the CD, I just really, really want it. Ugh, this waiting is killing me.
A home game, homecoming, states, another home game. Another month of marching band. :sighs: I'm going to die in that month. These grades and marching band will sap me of what little creative output I have. I have choir. I have my bands. I have English and History. I know I'll make it. I hope I can.
Call out to Avers: A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings. Remember that? From 9th grade? Booya. Rereading. So much fun.
3.10.05
1 Day!!!
Only one day my little ones before the new Franzie cd comes out!!!! :does a little dance, doesn't make a little love, gets down tonight: Totally siked. Definatly going to do my best to represent the Franz.
In other words, I have a couple thingies that I'm going to post. I hate calling them...poems, but techinally thats what they are. In any event do give them a read and don't forget what tomorrow is....THE BEST DAY IN THE UNIVERSE!!!
(none of these have titles)
(and some are kind of long)
(inspired by "Psycho" soundtrack)
(no inspiration...I don't even do that)
(not a favorite, but okay)
YOU COULD HAVE IT SO MUCH BETTER........WITH FRANZIE POO!!!
In other words, I have a couple thingies that I'm going to post. I hate calling them...poems, but techinally thats what they are. In any event do give them a read and don't forget what tomorrow is....THE BEST DAY IN THE UNIVERSE!!!
(none of these have titles)
(and some are kind of long)
Violin sixteenths
Cello eighths
Consistant rhythms
Constant melody
Back and forth duets
Rolling music
Train of thought
Music is not background
It's only the subconsciounce
Weilding its only sword
I listen to it patiently
I listen for its cause
Violin sixteenths
Cello eighths
Consistant rhythms
Constant melody
(inspired by "Psycho" soundtrack)
Flirt
Wink of an eye
Batting your lashes
Seduce
Wiggle the hips
Pout your lips
Get the boy
Before he gets you
(no inspiration...I don't even do that)
Waking up
A darkened room
Grope for a light
Search for a path
Morning light
Eyes slowly adjust
Coffee and toast
Newspaper headlines
Garrison Keeler reading poetry
Packing up
Start the car
Finally gone
(not a favorite, but okay)
YOU COULD HAVE IT SO MUCH BETTER........WITH FRANZIE POO!!!
27.9.05
Random Thoughts at almost 11 o'clock
7 days my little guinea pigs. 7 days. :wiggles eyebrows in a silly manner:
Snipers!! It's about snipers...Oh Blender, what light ye shed upon my silly brain, what glorious light.
I am now 1 step closer to getting out of band. :nods: My god smile upon my endeavors. Lord knows I'll need it.
Avers is a smart duck. Classic v. Smart. Yeeeeeeesssssss
2 weeks till I see Ricky again. 2 weeks mes petite chiens. 2 weeks.
Night-night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
Snipers!! It's about snipers...Oh Blender, what light ye shed upon my silly brain, what glorious light.
I am now 1 step closer to getting out of band. :nods: My god smile upon my endeavors. Lord knows I'll need it.
Avers is a smart duck. Classic v. Smart. Yeeeeeeesssssss
2 weeks till I see Ricky again. 2 weeks mes petite chiens. 2 weeks.
Night-night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
26.9.05
Fangirl
I'm quitting band. I'm nervous about doing it, but I'm really, really glad I am. Incredibly happy about this decision. I'm still a little nervous though. I suppose until it happens, I'll be nervous. I'm joining chorus. I'm kind of excited about that. :sigh: I'm feeling really pensive. And in a desperate need to sing loudly. Or eat.
Hmm...not much has happened today. We had a band competition over the weekend. A total waste of my Saturday, but we did get second place. Lost by 4/10ths of a point. God I hate when Mr. Fore tells that kind of crap. :rolls eyes:
Just so y'all know, I'm a horrible, horrible fangirl. Here I have statistics:
FF KC Ke Ki MP 45345
Hmm...not much has happened today. We had a band competition over the weekend. A total waste of my Saturday, but we did get second place. Lost by 4/10ths of a point. God I hate when Mr. Fore tells that kind of crap. :rolls eyes:
Just so y'all know, I'm a horrible, horrible fangirl. Here I have statistics:
- 9 Ricky avatars
- 4 Brandon avatars (use to have more, then I scaled back)
- 5 Tom avatars (out of 6 Keane avatars, and that's of his foot)
- 6 Franzie avatars
- 13 Kaiser Chief avatars
- 11 Killers avatars
- 2 pictures of Ricky
- 6 pictures of Tom
- 7 pictures of Brandon (not including two colorbars)
- 1 wanted poster of Tom
FF KC Ke Ki MP 45345
25.9.05
22.9.05
Contentment
My hair is driving me bonkers. Damn band practice made it all yucky and stuff. I just hope it looked good for school pictures. If that doesn’t work out I’ll be sad-ish.
I wish I lived in England. Then I would be able to watch the Franzie weekend on MTV and the whole Kaiser Chief thing too. It makes me sad. Of course there would be some down sides. Like the whole education thing. But other than that I really wished I lived in the UK. I must live there when I get older. I don’t care how utterly impossible it is, I really, really want to be in the UK. God I love that place. Or at least I love the culture. And history. And accents. And square pies.
You know what’s fun? Debating. Talking to Loghman is so much fun for me. It’s really nice to finally have met someone who will talk to me at a high intellectual level, who isn’t Mums or Dad or Sophs. It was just really nice today to talk to him about books and music and all that sort of stuff. It’s taken me awhile to find someone like this, but I suppose you could say it was worth the wait. I certainly think it was.
I’m not feeling very coherent today. I was amazingly coherent during English and history, but after that it went horribly down hill. I suppose it doesn’t really matter too much. It’s not like I have to write a paper tonight or something. :sigh: I’m just kind of mentally exhausted. I’m glad though. Today was actually a really good day.
:lip synchs to Kaiser Chiefs: These nights of booze catch up with yooze…:does little dance: I’m perfectly content mes cheries. Perfectly content.
I wish I lived in England. Then I would be able to watch the Franzie weekend on MTV and the whole Kaiser Chief thing too. It makes me sad. Of course there would be some down sides. Like the whole education thing. But other than that I really wished I lived in the UK. I must live there when I get older. I don’t care how utterly impossible it is, I really, really want to be in the UK. God I love that place. Or at least I love the culture. And history. And accents. And square pies.
You know what’s fun? Debating. Talking to Loghman is so much fun for me. It’s really nice to finally have met someone who will talk to me at a high intellectual level, who isn’t Mums or Dad or Sophs. It was just really nice today to talk to him about books and music and all that sort of stuff. It’s taken me awhile to find someone like this, but I suppose you could say it was worth the wait. I certainly think it was.
I’m not feeling very coherent today. I was amazingly coherent during English and history, but after that it went horribly down hill. I suppose it doesn’t really matter too much. It’s not like I have to write a paper tonight or something. :sigh: I’m just kind of mentally exhausted. I’m glad though. Today was actually a really good day.
:lip synchs to Kaiser Chiefs: These nights of booze catch up with yooze…:does little dance: I’m perfectly content mes cheries. Perfectly content.
21.9.05
No Title
What's better? Stress out over every single grade that doesn't reach a certain standard and then flog yourself for not reaching the expectations, or not stress out over every grade, no matter what it is, and then not do as well because you didn't care.
I don't want to not care, but I don't want to flog myself for not getting an A on every single piece of graded work. That doesn't happen for me. I put in a certain amount of effort, depending on the variables that exist and things turn out the way they do. I can't seem to make a half way point between apathy and extreme stress. I don't want to have a nervous breakdown at 18, but I don't want to fail again. So the question is, how does one reach a happy median when everyone around you seems to be at one extreme or another? Maybe I over simplify things, but that is the basic question. Reaching a happy median around people who won't take anything less than 100%. Complicated to a certain extent, but then again the answer could be simple. Try and filter out the people who must get A's or die, and ignore those who don't give a damn. It sounds so simple. Maybe it will work.
I got a 100 on the math homework. Loghman got an 85. He just about died. I was sort of expecting my grade. I did with Ms. Buchanan and we checked the answers in the back of the book. Still, was it fair? Was it fair that I took that course over the summer, which was open to everyone, and am now way, way ahead of everyone else? Is it fair that I can write for both English and History equally well? Is it fair that I have certain gifts in those two areas? What is fair? A constant plague between what is deserved and what is given. Nothing is equal, though philosophers wish there was a world that was. So, I get 100 because of certain advantages and Loghman gets an 85 because he doesn't have those advantages. Fair? Not necessarily, but then what is fair?
Sorry for all the philosophy. I guess I'm just in a contemplative mood today. Physics was so boring, and math is just repeative for me, so what else is there to do? Plus, I finished Cross Channel this morning so I have nothing to read. Poor me. :rolls eyes: I need a good shot of caffeine and then I'll be ready to go. Yeah, hopefully.
More later, now I read trash.
I don't want to not care, but I don't want to flog myself for not getting an A on every single piece of graded work. That doesn't happen for me. I put in a certain amount of effort, depending on the variables that exist and things turn out the way they do. I can't seem to make a half way point between apathy and extreme stress. I don't want to have a nervous breakdown at 18, but I don't want to fail again. So the question is, how does one reach a happy median when everyone around you seems to be at one extreme or another? Maybe I over simplify things, but that is the basic question. Reaching a happy median around people who won't take anything less than 100%. Complicated to a certain extent, but then again the answer could be simple. Try and filter out the people who must get A's or die, and ignore those who don't give a damn. It sounds so simple. Maybe it will work.
I got a 100 on the math homework. Loghman got an 85. He just about died. I was sort of expecting my grade. I did with Ms. Buchanan and we checked the answers in the back of the book. Still, was it fair? Was it fair that I took that course over the summer, which was open to everyone, and am now way, way ahead of everyone else? Is it fair that I can write for both English and History equally well? Is it fair that I have certain gifts in those two areas? What is fair? A constant plague between what is deserved and what is given. Nothing is equal, though philosophers wish there was a world that was. So, I get 100 because of certain advantages and Loghman gets an 85 because he doesn't have those advantages. Fair? Not necessarily, but then what is fair?
Sorry for all the philosophy. I guess I'm just in a contemplative mood today. Physics was so boring, and math is just repeative for me, so what else is there to do? Plus, I finished Cross Channel this morning so I have nothing to read. Poor me. :rolls eyes: I need a good shot of caffeine and then I'll be ready to go. Yeah, hopefully.
More later, now I read trash.
Lyrics (Jacqueline)
I don't do this very often, but right now I just need to have something here. I'm in such and awful state, or was in an awful state last night, that I need to say it somehow. I'm short on time, so this is the best I can do:
It's funny how certain bands, they just make me feel better. I don't feel bad when I listen to Franzie, or the Killers. I feel better. Mind you it would have been really nice to have last night gone a lot better, but I shouldn't expect so much from Mr. Fore. He never matured beyond about 6th grade. :sigh: My throat hurts. Goddamn bastard.
Gregor was down again
Said, 'Come on, kick me again'
Said, 'I'm so drunk I don't mind if you kill me'
Come on you gutless
Yeah, I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive and how I know it
But for chips, and for freedom I could die
It's funny how certain bands, they just make me feel better. I don't feel bad when I listen to Franzie, or the Killers. I feel better. Mind you it would have been really nice to have last night gone a lot better, but I shouldn't expect so much from Mr. Fore. He never matured beyond about 6th grade. :sigh: My throat hurts. Goddamn bastard.
19.9.05
Blather blither
Can't concentrate.
I listened to a bit over an hour of the Beatles. Immediately there after I started listening to Keane. I swear to god I need to branch out a little. I got a ton of other cds, but I haven't listened to half of them in years. Sadness beyond all sadness. My mind is becoming narrower by the minute.
I'm a horrible pop junkie. My choice to replace Keane -- Natalie Imbruglia. Yeah. Me <3 pop. Ugh. I feel a little worn. I'm uber tired of pulling b.s. out of my ass for English, and history just depresses me. I hate procrastinating because I know thats what I'm doing and it frustrates me to no end. Then again I can't seem to write tonight. My mind refuses to cooperate with me. It wants to play 3 Lines. Stupid poop. In any event, this evening is not going particularly well for me. The rest of the day was fine though.
:sings: It's too late, oh don't come crawling...
I listened to a bit over an hour of the Beatles. Immediately there after I started listening to Keane. I swear to god I need to branch out a little. I got a ton of other cds, but I haven't listened to half of them in years. Sadness beyond all sadness. My mind is becoming narrower by the minute.
I'm a horrible pop junkie. My choice to replace Keane -- Natalie Imbruglia. Yeah. Me <3 pop. Ugh. I feel a little worn. I'm uber tired of pulling b.s. out of my ass for English, and history just depresses me. I hate procrastinating because I know thats what I'm doing and it frustrates me to no end. Then again I can't seem to write tonight. My mind refuses to cooperate with me. It wants to play 3 Lines. Stupid poop. In any event, this evening is not going particularly well for me. The rest of the day was fine though.
:sings: It's too late, oh don't come crawling...
18.9.05
Choir
There is a difference between the fine arts, band, choir/chorus, and string people. Unfortunatly you have to be one the above to be able to tell. Or least be fairly familiar with the above groups. Otherwize you'd never know. Or at least not really know, and that would be bad. Because there is a difference.
I started choir today at the church Mum goes to. Since Dad is aethesist, Mums is the religious person in the family. I'm fairly ambvialent and was completely awed by the service today. I'm fairly sure that by the end of the year I will be completely against the church. Hopefully not. In any event I started choir.
There is a difference between choir/chorus people and band people. Or at least there's a difference between me and the people in choir. It's not intelligence, it's personality. My personality is different from the rest of the choir members. Then again the same could be said for me and the rest of the clarinet section. In any event I could tell right off the bat that the people who are doing this are in their high school chorus. But I suppose it doesn't really matter. Depending on how much of a jerk Mr. Fore is I may not do band next year. Hopefully things will work out, but if they don't then I might as well get use to choir/chorus people.
I'm glad that I'm doing this though. I love singing and it's always more fun to perform with live people, so I think this is a good thing to do. :repeats this phrase ad nausem:
:looks around the room: God this place a pig stye. My lovely little hell hole. I should clean up.
My mother told me yesterday that if Loghman asks me out I should say yes. This comes from the fact that on Thursday, when it was fairly clear that I was sick, Loghman said he would be very disappointed if I wasn't in history the next day. Sadly for Loghman I wasn't in history on Friday, in fact I think I was sleeping through most of history. I felt awful, but I thought about how disappointed he might have been. I hope he was joking. I hope that Mums and Dad and Sophs are all wrong. I hope he doesn't ask me out. Because going out with Loghman is a very hard idea for me to swallow.
Theeta. Not thada. Remember that children.
"You're not special so, look what you've done boy..."
I started choir today at the church Mum goes to. Since Dad is aethesist, Mums is the religious person in the family. I'm fairly ambvialent and was completely awed by the service today. I'm fairly sure that by the end of the year I will be completely against the church. Hopefully not. In any event I started choir.
There is a difference between choir/chorus people and band people. Or at least there's a difference between me and the people in choir. It's not intelligence, it's personality. My personality is different from the rest of the choir members. Then again the same could be said for me and the rest of the clarinet section. In any event I could tell right off the bat that the people who are doing this are in their high school chorus. But I suppose it doesn't really matter. Depending on how much of a jerk Mr. Fore is I may not do band next year. Hopefully things will work out, but if they don't then I might as well get use to choir/chorus people.
I'm glad that I'm doing this though. I love singing and it's always more fun to perform with live people, so I think this is a good thing to do. :repeats this phrase ad nausem:
:looks around the room: God this place a pig stye. My lovely little hell hole. I should clean up.
My mother told me yesterday that if Loghman asks me out I should say yes. This comes from the fact that on Thursday, when it was fairly clear that I was sick, Loghman said he would be very disappointed if I wasn't in history the next day. Sadly for Loghman I wasn't in history on Friday, in fact I think I was sleeping through most of history. I felt awful, but I thought about how disappointed he might have been. I hope he was joking. I hope that Mums and Dad and Sophs are all wrong. I hope he doesn't ask me out. Because going out with Loghman is a very hard idea for me to swallow.
Theeta. Not thada. Remember that children.
"You're not special so, look what you've done boy..."
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