The Nth Wheel

Allison tends to travel in packs. Sometimes it's Allison and four other people, other times it's Allison and two other people. She rarely travels alone and only if she's going to a class or coming from a class back to the dorm. She's always talking to someone, unless she's studying and even then sometimes there's another person studying with her. When she's in the room, she's the centre of attention or very, very close to the centre of attention. The world revolves around Allison.
And I sit in the background. I walk behind or ahead, but always apart. The only mutual friend of ours who actually does more than pretend to give a fuck about me is David. David walked me to band today.
I try to be apart of the group, but inevitably people stop paying attention and I stop caring. Other times I purposely avoid being in the group, because after awhile being the nth wheel is tiring and trying. Some days I just give up.
My tastes and tolerances are different from Allison's group for the most part and when they do occasionally overlap I'm overly passionate for general consumption. I don't drink, something that I suspect will be more of hindrance than many think until it's legal.
I've yet to make my own friends, save Sam. It's hard when the main way of making friends is involving oneself in activities that I neither have time for or care to participate in. I'm slow to let down my guard and that fact alone is a hindrance to forming my own outside friendships. At the present I rely almost completely on Allison for my socializing and there are times when that fact is more depressing than not having any friends. Socializing, an activity I've never been fond of, becomes an irksome task that must be done for the sake of appearances. Grin and bear it.
I'm the nth wheel and my only hope is for a future where I'm not.

The Major Key

The Magic Position (Patrick Wolf)
So let the people talk
It's Monday morning walk
Right past the fabulous mess we're in
It's gonna be a beautiful day
So do the bluebirds sing
As I take your hand
And you take my kiss
And I take the world
'Cause out of all the people I've known
The places I've been
The songs that I have sung
The wonders I've seen
Now that the dreams are all coming true
Who is the one that leads me on through

It's you
Who puts me in the magic position, darling now
You put me in the magic position
To live, to learn, to love in the major key

And I know how you've hurt
And been dragged through the dirt
But c'mon get back up
It's the time to live
So give your love to me
I'm gonna keep it carefully
Deep in the treasure chest below my breast
'Cause out of all the people I've known
The places I've been
The songs that I have sung
The wonders I've seen
Now that the dreams are all coming true
Who is the one that leads me on through

It's you
Who puts me in the magic position, darling now
You put me in the magic position, darling now
Let me put you in the magic position, darling
'Cause I'm singing in the, the major key

Let me put you in the major key

Breakin' Up (Rilo Kiley)
It's not as if new york city
Burnt down to the ground
Once you drove away
It's not as if the sun won't shine
When clouds up above
Wash the blues away

Are we breaking up?
Are we breaking up?
is there trouble between you and i?
Did my heart break enough?
Did it break enough this time?

Here's to all the pretty words
We will never speak
Here's to all the pretty girls
You're gonna meet

Am I breaking up?
Am I breaking up?
Is there trouble on the line?
Did your heart break enough?
did it break enough this time?

Ooh it feels good to be free
Ooh it feels good to be free
Ooh it feels good to be free

Betrayal is a thorny crown
You wear it well
Just like a king
Revenge is the saddest thing
Honey, I'm afraid to say
You deserve everything

Am I breaking up?
Are we breaking up?
Is there trouble between the lines?
Did your heart break enough?
Did it break enough this time?

Ooh it feels good to be free
Ooh it feels good to be free
Ooh it feels good to be free

The Underdog (Spoon)
Picture yourself in a living room,
Your pipe and slippers set out for you,
I know you think that it ain't too far,
But I,

I hear the call of a lifetime ring,
Felt the need to get up for it.
Oh, cut out the middle man
Get free from the middle man.

You got no time for the messenger,
Got no regard for the thing that you don't understand.
You got no fear of The Underdog,
That's why you will not survive.

I wanna forget how convention fits,
Hmmm, but can I get out from under it?
Well I cut it out of me.

It can't all be wedding cake,
It can't all be boiled away,
I tried but I can't let go of it,
Can't let go of it, uh huh.

You shouldn't talk to the water boy,
And there's so much you can learn but you don't want to know,
You will not back up an inch ever,
That's why you will not survive.

The thing that I tell you now,
It may not go over well.
Oh it may not be for a while,
In the way that I spell it out.

But you won't hear from the messenger.
Don't want to know 'bout the thing that you don't understand.
You got no fear of The Underdog,
That's why you will not survive

Go listen and dance and be merry.

People

I shouldn't be allowed near people when it's anywhere within a week of my visit with Aunt Flo. I become a danger to those around me but thankfully not to myself. Just to my social interaction. In all seriousness though, I do become a raging bitch who shouldn't be allowed around people who might annoy me. Which is basically everyone ever during this time of the month.
You see the thing is, is I swing between hating everyone and laughing my ass off at the stupidest things. I find everything annoying and suspect everyone of treachery. I laugh and act happy but in the back of my head I'm suspecting all of you of hating me or just putting up with me. I'm just that paranoid around this time of the month. I hate this, probably more than I'll hate you in the next five minutes. That's the beauty of hormones.
God I hate the world.

Irony is Best Served Cold

Yesterday I was finishing up an entry for my seminar blog and I was trying to find out when Parva (the original Kaiser Chiefs) disbanded. So, I went to Wikipedia and searched "Parva." Wikipedia then redirected my search to the Kaiser Chiefs page, which didn't help my timeline at all since that page's history starts with Employment. The damned thing doesn't even mention Parva. In any event, I was looking at the sidebar in the hopes that it would lend some help with my search. Instead it gave me the sweet satisfaction of being able to call Drowned in Sound hypocrites. You when t'Chiefs first released "Oh My God" they weren't signed to their current label, B-Unique. So, the released that nifty little song through the Drowned in Sound label. Three years later the self same people are calling them bland shite. :) I love irony. It makes me happy on the inside. That and finding out hypocrisy and laughing at it. All things that make me happy. In any event I have to scoot off to an advisor meeting and try to convince Prof. Gately that taking only three real classes and a whole bunch of ensembles is a really good idea. Anyway, I'm off my loves. Till next time.

Bandwagon

I wrote this for my seminar blog. All the quotes, save the last one, is from The Commitments and absolutely fabulous book which you should all read.

It's been awhile. I know it's been awhile. But I have a feeling The Commitments is going to make up for my lapse.

"Jimmy knew what was new, what was new but wouldn't be for long and what was going to be new."
Ever since the beginning of popular music, I suspect there has been an "indie-er than thou" crowd. When Stephen Foster hit it big, I truly believe there were some people who said "I knew him and liked him when he was nothing." This crowd though might be more prevalent starting sometime after though the Beatles simply because that's when people started really caring about "the next big thing" and knowing of "the next big thing" before anyone else. Knowing the Rolling Stones before anyone else added to a person's "indie" "cred" and knowing who the Libertines are (still, and after beforehand) adds even more to a person's indie cred. And let me tell you it's all about the indie cred.
The NME (as all the proper Brits call it) is the bible of "indie-er than thou." They, much like Jimmy (as compared to Derek and Outspan), know what's what. They declare what's what in fact and also declare what's not, something that usually happens after six months (or less depending on how truly terrible the band/artist is). There are other such publications and websites that declare things and everyone who knew about the highlighted band declares themselves more indie than the rest of the world (mwhahahaha.)
"Jimmy always got genuinely angry whenever Top of the Pops was mentioned although he never missed it."
The thing though, about being indie-er than thou is that there are a few guilty secrets in everyone's closet. There's a band in every elitists iPod that they wouldn't want anyone to know about. Songs that the cool crowd wouldn't approve of (such as the whole Keane catalogue) and would mean the stripping of any indie cred you might have if anyone found out. So you hide your Keane CDs and rain scorn upon them whenever possible ("Tom Chaplin was in rehab? God what a..."). Such is the way of the elitist. Insist that you knew band X before anyone else and deny that you love and have been to multiple concerts of band Y.
"So get off the bandwagon, and put down the handbook" (Arctic Monkey, "Fake Tales of San Francisco")

What Kind of Fuckery is This

In my heyday of fangirl-ism I put up with a lot of shit. Truth is, I still put up with a lot of shit, but now it's on a wider scale of life, as compared to earlier times. But back when I was truly apeshit, I...well...put up with a lot of nonsense, more so than most Doctor Who fans put up with and to be a Doctor Who fan you have to put up with a hell of a lotta nonsense/bullshit. So, to say that I put up with more is really saying something. Now that the scales have fallen from my eyes though, I've realized, beyond the fact that bands get away with a hell of a lot, that with Yours Truly, Angry Mob the Kaiser Chiefs have gone from their videos making some sort of sense to absolutely disconnected from the song and generally making no sense whatsoever. So now, for your viewing (dis)pleasure the videos of YTAM and commentary:

"Ruby"
If you a video that plays out a literal interpretation of the song, this video will not please you. The thing about this video is that, although it is rather surreal in nature, it's visually pleasing and overall has a sort of logic to it. In the grand scheme of music videos (and I mean everything) its one of the better ones I've seen, not only showcasing the artistry of the director while also showing off the band. A good one.

"Everything is Average Nowadays"
Not only does this video make sense given the overall gist of the song, it's also highly entertaining to watch. The best of the bunch, both in terms of logic and the concept of the video staying true to the lyrics of the song.

"The Angry Mob"
I've been going back through my journal entries trying to find where I slagged off this video, because this video freaks the hell out of me and I've only seen it once. Although it has a sort of thin connection to what the song is about, mostly it's just fucking crazy...

"Love's Not a Competition"
But not quite as crazy as this video. Not only is the image of rather poor quality, but it makes absolutely no fucking sense. There isn't even a vague connection to the song. It's just...absolutely and complete nonsense. With a trained dog. [Edit: My sister told me that this video referenced a movie scene. She didn't think I'd get it, but then when she mentioned it again, after I told her in didn't make sense and that the film quality was crappy, I answered her question. The video, quite cleverly, references The Conversation with Gene Hackmen. It's the first scene of the movie which is why I got it. Anything past that and I would have been lost. In any event, the above comments still apply, but there's some movie cred in there as well.]

So there you have it. All the videos for YTAM dissected by me. I'm feeling a bit jittery and incoherent, so I apologize for that. I need food. I'm going to take care of that now. Till later darlings.

Christmas Comes Early

There are certain things in my life that mark the passing of time and the year as a whole. Some of these markers of changed a bit (mid-terms in place of first quarter report cards as an example) but most of them have stayed exactly the same. One of the markers for the end of year for instance is top X lists on music websites. Another marker for the end of the year, beginning in 2005 was Fake DIY's Beard of the Year Contest. Traditionally music webzines and the like do things like "Beard of the Year" and top X lists towards the end of the year because a) not much is happening because of b) nobody being around really. Well it seems DIY wants an early start on the contest this year and so they're blogging about "musical beards." I was "shocked and appalled"* at this development and though not completely thrown off by it, I'm a bit weirded out by it. Silly nonsense like this is suppose to entertain me when I'm really bored and have nothing to do, not distract me when I'm suppose to be working. In any event, who here thinks I should nominate Simon again?
If you're a fan of Doctor Who and want something funny to read, I would suggest this. If you don't know what a chibi is, read this. Mix and enjoy!
*A quote from the second episode of the 20th season of Never Mind the Buzzcocks. According to rumours the show should be returning this November. I can't wait

Home Again

It's odd to consider what is essential temporary living "home." But there you have it. I'm home.
My computer is mostly in the right now. I had all the essentials back up-ed on my portable drive, so I didn't lose too, too much thankfully. I didn't lose any of my important music and pictures, thank god. So everything is back to right now, thankfully.
I'm very sleepy and had a very nice convo with Jasmine and so I'm off to bed. Further updates when necessary.

The Day the Computer Died

For the past week or so my computer has been running at sub-par speeds. The kicker though was when Word stopped working properly and I had to uninstall Yahoo Music Jukebox and Firefox for inexplicable reasons. So I called and complained to Mums and I got an appointment to have the rummy thing fixed. Turns out I was working at almost full capacity and the stupid thing was rather near exploding I suppose. In any event the person working on my computer said I had to completely wipe the thing and reinstall Windows XP. This in turn means I've lost all of my links and a good portion of my music, though none that I can't re-burn at a later date. The biggest annoyance is trying to recall where I save things and all my bloody links. It's amazing how many amassed over the past year or so, but there you have it. Can't do a damn thing about the saved things until I get back to school and I'm not going to do anything really about the music until I have more RAM (which seems to be main problem), just in case having all that music was part of the problem. Personally I think having a shit load of large programs on the bally thing is what caused the problems, but having an equally large amount of music probably didn't help matters. So that's the state of things. Not exactly in the soup, but pretty damn close.
(I've been reading P.G. Wodehouse for the past week and some of the jargon has gotten in my head and refuses to leave. Neither has the posh British accent that has accompanied the book, but that's besides the point. This is just an explanation for the strange words.)

Re: Short

Radio went eh on Monday, much better on Wednesday though. After the fainting spell, was worried things would be awkward on Wednesday in class, but they weren't thank god. I do have a bruise on my knee from were I fell, but it isn't too bad. I have my history mid-term tomorrow which I'm way not looking forward to. Music mid-term went well-ish, but I made the math more complicated than necessary. Ended up with a not horrible grade, but not as good as it could have been. Things are good in general though. On something of a KC binge because of mid-terms. Definitely need some sleep, but will have to wait. Going home for fall break tomorrow. Until then mes petites.

Short

Radio in (less than) a half hour. Nervous as all get out and hope to god I do things right. Fainted this morning and scared the crap out of everyone in the class. Libertines fan tried to be to the rescue, but was too far away. I think I have a bruise on my knee where I fell. In any event, made the rest of the day really weird for me. Skipped instrumental ensemble because I was still feeling shitty. Took calculated risks during my music theory mid-term, hopefully things will work out for the best. Had an advisor meeting at four which was utterly useless. Have to start thinking about what classes I want to take next semester. :sigh: My head hurts. Nothing else really to report. We'll see how tomorrow goes for me.

Accents

I wrote this up on Friday after a brief discussion we had my seminar. Someone asked why it was the Brits didn't always sound like Brits when they sing. Prof. Campbell gave a good answer and then I added in, without going on too much of a tangent. Because of the discussion though I had to write something on it, since I know more than I said. This is what I produced. Don't know how good or completely accurate it is, but here it is, nonetheless.

Accents in the UK
In 1066 the Normans invaded England through the south and gentrified the accent of the entire area. The northern part of the country, most of the west coast, Wales and Scotland were saved from this gentrification, retaining the more Anglo-Saxon/Celtic edge in their accents. In the south and south eastern areas of the country, the lower classes retained some of that edge, particularly in London where the cockney accent originated.
The Normans didn't care for anyone who couldn't give them power. Thus accents, even the largely gentrified areas, began to be divided by economic class, education, and birth place. The more education the more posh the accent. The difference in accents between a lord an commoner would be fairly obvious, even now. A Highland [the very northern part of Scotland] accent is thicker than a Lowland [southern half, closer to the England-Scotland border], just as someone from Manchester would sound quite different from someone who is from Leeds. Country is different from city and Wales is it's won country, and accent.
I'm not going to touch Ireland. Talking about that is asking for a trouble and a long winded speech about the country's history, which is incredibly long, depressing, and slightly confusing.
[This bit is all new, just to tie things up] Accents in the UK can identify someone just as well, if not better, than a driver's license. An accent call tell the listener where the person is from, their economic status, and even whether they went to University or not. And it all started with that Norman invasion in 1066.

I'm off to bed. I had a very long weekend, or actually a very long Saturday night, and I have a mid-term and a presentation tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep. Until next time mes petites.

Rum and Diet Coke

So today I went on a shopping spree. Seriously, this was no day for small purchases. Mind you Old Navy was having a sale and all my purchases there were cheap (comparatively speaking) but still, overall it was a spree. A major spree. But it was rather fun in it's own way. I will now be able to properly entertain myself when I'm on my own and I have cute new shoes and pyjama bottoms. The weird thing though was hearing the Cribs' "Girls Like Mystery" in Old Navy when I was waiting to check out. It was quite bizarre. Allison was less impressed a declared that I need to get into American (her inflection not mine) bands. I told I knew some American bands, just not one's she'd heard of. In any event it was a good day, especially considering how not very good last night was.
Besides the major spending spree today, most of the day was spent hearing stories from last night. Most of the stories are funny, some rather concerning, but overall I sort of wish I could have been a fly on the wall last night. But yeah, today was a good day.
So what's with the title of the entry you say. Well...R's choice of drink is rum and coke and since I shouldn't be drinking coke, you get rum and diet coke. Besides, it sounds good.

The Lure of Forbidden Fruit

I'm watching the season finale of "Doctor Who" by myself right now. It's not as depressing as it sounds since I watched it by myself the first time around. But since the SciFi channel has the longest commercial breaks known to man I'm going to tell you a story, because I know better than some who lurks on the internet and some things are best left to fiction.
Once upon a time
She sits at her desk trying to ignore the conversation behind her. None of them are older than 19 and some haven't even reached that mark yet. Yet there they are talking about vodka like it was orange juice. The only difference is that for this little huddle, such orange juice is quite illegal. She doesn't care if they drink. She doesn't care if they get themselves completely shit faced. She won't be the one with the hangover the next morning. She even has a medical excuse for not drinking. But for some reason it bothers her. This groups talk. Bothers her more than her favourite band cancelling tour dates, more than scalpers. She tells herself as she flicks around the internet, that it doesn't matter. It's not her problem.
They're out tonight. Her friend, one of the few she has, knows not to include her, so she's alone for the night. It doesn't bother, not really. She'll get to watch her movies, go to bed with out worries of being an annoyance to her room mates. Really it's rather nice to be alone. Except she knows what they're doing. The friend had the thoughtfulness to tell her what they'd be doing. Chinese and vodka. And there again, that gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach, despite the logic in her head, telling her that something bad, something wrong is going to happen and she has no control over it. The idea of self-medicating and being woken up in the middle of the night to sound of the inebriated overwhelm her, ruining this otherwise relaxing evening.
All of this will happen again. She suspects it will happen tomorrow night in fact. Another night alone, left to her own devises. She'll have to go to Central Park if that's the case. Her conscious gnaws at her, not to tattle but to berate. She wants to convince someone that she's right and not just a prude. She'll blame the expenditures on simple necessities. Something like that. She hates this, more than anything else about college. Not necessarily the being alone. The knowing why she's alone. Ignorance is bliss.

The Art of Concert Going

Today is Rocktober Fest (don't ask me how one day can be considered a fest, but I digress) at good ole UMW and right now there is a very long line outside of GW Hall. Chances are people have been waiting at least an hour, maybe more (maybe less) depending on where they are in line. The headliners are Plain White T's (pardon me while I go gag to death at the thought of those posers being on my campus.) My roommate and a friend of her's are thinking of going, even though they don't have tickets and the concert is suppose to have already started. The logic is that since they're giving away tickets (though probably not now) they'll get in after the opening acts have gone and just see the PWT's. I feel like screaming because that is not how you do the whole concert thing. There is (as my title might have suggested) an art to concert going. Part of it involves seeing all of the acts.
The Art of Concert Going
1) You go see all the acts. I think it's incredibly rude to talk through the openers, but the point is, you don't just go to see one part of a concert. That's what festivals are for.
2) Get tickets ahead of time. Part of the thrill of going to a concert is getting the tickets ahead of time so you can drool over how awesome the concerts going to be etc, etc. People giving away tickets (even if the show is free) are bad people. Bad, bad people. And no, I don't care if the show is free, unless the person giving the tickets to you are a part of the venue, it is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Almost evil, but not quite.
3) Did I mention the whole, go see the whole show not just part of it? Yeah, that's an important one.
4) Unless you are me, or have an equally good reason as mine, don't leave part way through the headliner. It's a bit rude and chances are you'll regret it. If you really want to leave (not that I'm suggesting that you leave) do it before they come on stage, especially if you're in a club, because I can promise you once the headliners come on it will be almost impossible to leave. So really, don't leave part way through.
Oh yeah, I'm a total hypocrite. Complete hypocrite.
:Goes to see Plain White T's, because she's a horrible person:

From the Shear Boringness of Life

I'm very bored at the moment and feeling slightly brain dead as well, so I'm going to fill out a meme. Oh yeah, I know how to have fun.

CHILDHOOD
1. DC
2. Oldies 100
3. Red door
4. Woods
5. Creek

SCHOOL
1. Reading
2. Stories
3. History
4. Library
5. Biographies

LOVE
1. Music
2. Great Britain
3. Music (I know I've said it twice, sue me)
4. Doctor Who fanfic
5. Club concerts

PASSTIMES
1. Reading
2. Watching various TV shows
3. Singing
4. Listening to music
5. Writing

WORK
1. Reading
2. Writing
3. Computer
4. Music listening
5. More reading

FUTURE
1. Love
2. London
3. This is Fake DIY
4. Club concerts
5. Music

What a Girl Wants

Pardon the crappy title. I've had it in my head all day as a title for an entry and I'll be damned if I don't use. In any event it is somewhat appropriate given the topics I wish to address tonight. It's all girl business my friends, all girl business.
My friend Allison is in a crappy place as of today. Complicated relationship issues along with long distance make life a general shit hole, something she's experiencing at the moment. Oddly enough, as bad as I feel for her (and I feel really, really awful for her and wish she would accept my offer of chocolate, if only to make me feel better) I see it as a good example to present to Farber when I tell him about Guy X and how I haven't been making any moves on him. I'll say, "See how fucked up her situation is? That is why I'm not doing anything about Guy X." Farber will sigh in exasperation and we'll move on. There will be about two months of gossip to cover, so we'll have to. But in any event, Allison is living in hell right now and I'm cowering in fear. Life is wonderful.
Speaking of Guy X, he doesn't have the crush I thought he had. Which makes my life slightly less complicated, that is until the woman I will call Bimbo stepped into the room. I really don't like Bimbo. She is blonde and ditzy and might be considered attractive. She's friends with Guy X and is a bimbo. Allison is incapacitated at the moment and I don't know anyone else to talk to about this. In any event I hate Bimbo.
I now have a cold. It's official. Kind of like how I hate Bimbo is official. Hopefully I will get better soon. I would like that.

Frak

I fucking hate hormones. I fucking hate accounts. I fucking hate...the world. A nice generalization for this evening. Oh wait...I fucking hate my low-grade paranoia. I fucking hate colds (or the beginnings of colds.) I fucking hate the world. But ya know what? I love House. I also love chocolate and it's aural equivalent. In fact I love House as much as I love Doctor Who and Never Mind the Buzzcocks. All of this love though is countered by how much I fucking hate the world.
I'm currently working on withdrawing from my journo class. I decided on Saturday that I was either going to explode from the stress I was feeling or that I would flunk out of the class by the sheer number of times I would skip it from the stress of not having the assignments done. In any event I have to have the professor sign off on my withdrawal which is going to be an uncomfortable experience. Then I have to have Prof. Gately sign off on the withdrawal as well, another uncomfortable experience. Then, after all this uncomfortableness, I'll be free.
Nothing else to report. Guy X is still the head, the low-grade paranoia and hormones are making it worse that he's there. Oddly enough he's been in my room a lot too, but that's because of House and studying with Allison. All of which adds up to more low-grade paranoia in the end. Ah, such is life.
And now...back to House and hating the world.