The only thing I think I've ever really loved is music. I was thinking about it last night as I was trying my hardest to fall asleep. I had just finished a book (Girls in Pants) and since a major theme was love, I thought about people I loved. Now I don't mean family. Even when I'm really pissed off at my mums and dad, I still love them. Family love is almost obligitory. No what I mean is the kind of love you read about in books, the kind you see in movies, the kind that couples have. I thought for a long time that I had loved Miles (him being my first boyfriend and all.) I didn't though. I've always been mature for my age, but I wans't mature enough at the time to really love him. I don't think I could ever have really loved him anyway. I had to many issues, to many insecurities to devote myself that way.
Music on the other hand, that I love. Great music (which I've been discovering right and left) makes my chest tight, makes me gush like the giggly fan girl I am at heart. Music will be my first love the whole of my life. I suppose it's because it's the only thing I can connect with, that doesn't expect anything from me. No social rules are involved in music. Music was the first thing I understood, before my family, before the people around me. I guess thats why I love.
God I can't say anymore. I won't be able to update this week. I've got band and then I'm going to Chicago (the spring band trip) so I'm sorry. Listen to the Zutons. They're sax players is the best.
28.3.05
25.3.05
I Would Like To Thank...
I would like to make a short list of people/organizations/companies I would like to thank for finally intergrating me into the 21st century.
Thank You:
Thank You:
- VH1 in the morning
- MTV.com
- VH1.com
- MTVU (website and channel)
- Amazon.com
- Tower Records
- My Sister
- The Weather
- Fairfax County
Thank you. You've made my day. :)
23.3.05
Oh the Bands of Today
Interpol, Kaiser Chiefs, The Killers and now Kings of Leon. I feel like a new person, almost. All this 21st century stuff I'm uber impressed with myself. Unfortunatly no one else would be impressed, so I'll just keep it to myself. Except for you wonderful people. Cuz you guys don't care how weird I am. :p
Well thats all. Have a good spring break.
Well thats all. Have a good spring break.
15.3.05
Cuz Heaven gives and Heaven takes
I can't think of anything to say. I just know that I want this week to be over. I want to be on a train to Williamsburg right now.
Tomorrow night won't be so bad though. I have nothing due in either of my classes on Thursday, and so hopefully I'll just be able to practice. I really want to practice.
Thursday should be okay, hopefully I won't have that much homework, especially in chem. :checks the syllabus: Alleluia!!! No homework over spring break and no homework for Friday. So that just means Mrs. Burkett has to be nice. I'm sure she will be. :rolls eyes:
I feel a lot like Willy Loman. My life is just overwhelming me, and all I can see are my mistakes. What I should have done. I'm just overwhelmed. Not in a very good spot these days.
I think I'll play solitare. Bye.
Tomorrow night won't be so bad though. I have nothing due in either of my classes on Thursday, and so hopefully I'll just be able to practice. I really want to practice.
Thursday should be okay, hopefully I won't have that much homework, especially in chem. :checks the syllabus: Alleluia!!! No homework over spring break and no homework for Friday. So that just means Mrs. Burkett has to be nice. I'm sure she will be. :rolls eyes:
I feel a lot like Willy Loman. My life is just overwhelming me, and all I can see are my mistakes. What I should have done. I'm just overwhelmed. Not in a very good spot these days.
I think I'll play solitare. Bye.
13.3.05
The Men
"The men. Who are these mysterious men? What have they got to do with Nore? I thought she was single?"-My patient readers (if there really are any readers)
The men. My music is populated by them. My brain is filled with them, both imaginary and real. Famous and infamous. Copycats and originals. Tight asses (Loghman) and nuts-os (Sam). The men sing my songs, touch my heart and give me the fondest memories. And most importantly, they are my obsession.
Mainly the men are the musicians who crowd my mp3 player. Eve6, Fastball, Cake, Talking Heads, Filter, Eagles of Death Metal, Elton John. I would say the majority of my music collection (or at least the parts I listen to) are "boy bands" or male artists. This isn't to say I don't have woman. Who've made a larger impact on me. No I am merely saying that in scrolling through the pop section of my mp3 player, the majority are male, or male groups.
God I feel incoherant.
I can tell it's going to be spring soon. It's almost 6 o'clock and still fairely light outside. Which means it'll be lighter in the mornings too. I like it this way. I like spring above all the other seasons. I like the weather, the temperatures. It's never too warm, although it can be too cold at times. I like being able to wear a short sleeve short and my jeans.
I'm feeling incoherant. I think I'll go now.
The men. My music is populated by them. My brain is filled with them, both imaginary and real. Famous and infamous. Copycats and originals. Tight asses (Loghman) and nuts-os (Sam). The men sing my songs, touch my heart and give me the fondest memories. And most importantly, they are my obsession.
Mainly the men are the musicians who crowd my mp3 player. Eve6, Fastball, Cake, Talking Heads, Filter, Eagles of Death Metal, Elton John. I would say the majority of my music collection (or at least the parts I listen to) are "boy bands" or male artists. This isn't to say I don't have woman. Who've made a larger impact on me. No I am merely saying that in scrolling through the pop section of my mp3 player, the majority are male, or male groups.
God I feel incoherant.
I can tell it's going to be spring soon. It's almost 6 o'clock and still fairely light outside. Which means it'll be lighter in the mornings too. I like it this way. I like spring above all the other seasons. I like the weather, the temperatures. It's never too warm, although it can be too cold at times. I like being able to wear a short sleeve short and my jeans.
I'm feeling incoherant. I think I'll go now.
12.3.05
Busy
I'm starting to collect pictures of the Killers. I'm also collecting fan sites. Yup, pretty soon I'll create a folder for the fan sites. I already created a Killers folder. Just thought you might be interested.
I'm getting a Dooney and Burke purse for my b-day. I'm excited namely because all of the purse I've had up until now have been pretty cheap. Plus, it'll be nice to have a designer purse. I'm not huge into the designer thing, but having a designer purse is kinda cool.
Well I have to get practicing now, so I'll see if I can update later. I'm really busy this weekend, so ya know, homework first. See y'all later
I'm getting a Dooney and Burke purse for my b-day. I'm excited namely because all of the purse I've had up until now have been pretty cheap. Plus, it'll be nice to have a designer purse. I'm not huge into the designer thing, but having a designer purse is kinda cool.
Well I have to get practicing now, so I'll see if I can update later. I'm really busy this weekend, so ya know, homework first. See y'all later
8.3.05
I Am A Victim
I'm cheating on the Beatles.
I've been listening to the Killers for almost two weeks almost non-stop.
I love Brandon Flowers and I think Ronnie is hi-larious.
:sigh:
I've been listening to the Killers for almost two weeks almost non-stop.
I love Brandon Flowers and I think Ronnie is hi-larious.
:sigh:
5.3.05
Lizard answer this!!!
1. Tell me something obvious about you.
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.
3. What is your biggest fear?
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with ...money.
6. What is your most treasured possession?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know.
9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no ...shirt on?
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.
20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it?
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.
3. What is your biggest fear?
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with ...money.
6. What is your most treasured possession?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know.
9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no ...shirt on?
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.
20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it?
3.3.05
2:20
:bemoans her lack of music: I'm really tempted to go to the band room, just so I can listen to my mp3. I'm honestly unsure of whether or not I can listen to my music. I know it's after school, but I'm in the library. Makes me rather sad actually. I was hoping to listen to the Killers again. :laughs are her own witiness: I'm so funny! Actually I'm more bored than funny. Bah.
The purpose of this entry is to update you as to the happenings of my life. Actually nothing has happened. I signed up for classes yesterday. Everything went really well actually. Mrs. Stuart signed me up for IB history, despite the fact that Mr. Million has yet to sign off on it, so thats exciting. I mean Mr. Million will, eventually, sign off on it, but I'm signed up for the class and thats the most important part right now. :thinks: Yeah nothing else has really happened.
Jesus I'm bored. I think I'll go read Seventeen. Adios!
The purpose of this entry is to update you as to the happenings of my life. Actually nothing has happened. I signed up for classes yesterday. Everything went really well actually. Mrs. Stuart signed me up for IB history, despite the fact that Mr. Million has yet to sign off on it, so thats exciting. I mean Mr. Million will, eventually, sign off on it, but I'm signed up for the class and thats the most important part right now. :thinks: Yeah nothing else has really happened.
Jesus I'm bored. I think I'll go read Seventeen. Adios!
2.3.05
I got soul, but I'm not a solider
To love something is to need it always. Kinda like what Paul said in "Here, There, Everywhere." I've tried listening to other bands (well one band) but it's hard when you have a song pounding through your head and you need to listen to it really badly. So I listen. Why not? The Killers are excellent in my op-ed. I might as well listen right?
I wish I could say more, but my Dad is acting like a jerk. Ugh. I'm off dearies. I'll update more this weekend.
27.2.05
Brandon Flowers has just made the list. Yes my friends he has now entered the list of Nore's Really Hot Musicians. Those already on the list include Paul and George. :bites lip: It's a very prestigious list. :thinks very hard: Yeah so now there are 3 people on the list. That I just made up.
I joined a Killers Icons comm at livejournal. I will be joining the picci group that I found. A daily squeel fest for me. First the Beatles, then Brandon. :bites lip again: Isn't it good that I'm expanding?
In other news I will be having school tomorrow. :shrugs: Yeah not that much has happened this morning. Then again I've only been awake for two and half hours.
Despite the fact that I've flung myself full force into this new band, I do feel twenty years behind the curve. Then again, better late than never.
It was only a kiss!
I joined a Killers Icons comm at livejournal. I will be joining the picci group that I found. A daily squeel fest for me. First the Beatles, then Brandon. :bites lip again: Isn't it good that I'm expanding?
In other news I will be having school tomorrow. :shrugs: Yeah not that much has happened this morning. Then again I've only been awake for two and half hours.
Despite the fact that I've flung myself full force into this new band, I do feel twenty years behind the curve. Then again, better late than never.
It was only a kiss!
26.2.05
Killers vs Beatles
Jesus, has it really been 5 days since I updated? Sorry boys and girls. Actually not that much has happened so need to worry.
Yesterday and Thurday I had snow days, which was really nice in a way. I spent most of yesterday by myself because Mums was at craft fair with my grandmother and aunt. I got a lovely pair of green glass earrings out the whole deal, plus two new eyeliners, so it wasn't too horrible. Oh and I found out how absolutly gorgeous the leader singer of the Killers is. I must find a piccie to show y'all. I <3vh1. Mmmmm...
:goes to find a piccie:
I have only 1 question for you punkers: Why do the guys have to wear eyeliner? Not that I mind :giggle giggle: but is it really necessary?
:edits piccies:
The red circle is the lead singer....
I need to hear Mr. Brightside. And more importantly I need to see the video again. Gaaaaah!!!
See the Beatles don't consume everything! yeah so what if they consume most? It isn't everything!!!
Yesterday and Thurday I had snow days, which was really nice in a way. I spent most of yesterday by myself because Mums was at craft fair with my grandmother and aunt. I got a lovely pair of green glass earrings out the whole deal, plus two new eyeliners, so it wasn't too horrible. Oh and I found out how absolutly gorgeous the leader singer of the Killers is. I must find a piccie to show y'all. I <3vh1. Mmmmm...
:goes to find a piccie:
I have only 1 question for you punkers: Why do the guys have to wear eyeliner? Not that I mind :giggle giggle: but is it really necessary?
:edits piccies:
The red circle is the lead singer....
I need to hear Mr. Brightside. And more importantly I need to see the video again. Gaaaaah!!!
See the Beatles don't consume everything! yeah so what if they consume most? It isn't everything!!!
21.2.05
Late
Jesus H. Christ I'm bored. There is nothing to do but homework. Lord knows I don't want to do that. I think I'll check the mail.
Alright, so that was a bust. Damn federal holidays. Ruining everything. Yes I am this bored. then again I've always liked the mail. I'm also one of the few people who actually enjoys the previews. On old VHS tapes I would always watch the coming attractions/video release things. I liked them a lot. :sigh:
Ya know there's both an upside and a downside to not having school. Upside: I get to sleep in. Downside: It's 5:08 and I'm bored out of my frickin' mind.
Alright People has my attention, so I'm off.
Alright, so that was a bust. Damn federal holidays. Ruining everything. Yes I am this bored. then again I've always liked the mail. I'm also one of the few people who actually enjoys the previews. On old VHS tapes I would always watch the coming attractions/video release things. I liked them a lot. :sigh:
Ya know there's both an upside and a downside to not having school. Upside: I get to sleep in. Downside: It's 5:08 and I'm bored out of my frickin' mind.
Alright People has my attention, so I'm off.
20.2.05
Calming Down
When Mums and I use to have an arguement my anger would last me the rest of the day. So if we had an arguement at 2pm I would pretty much be simmering until I went to bed. I'm not exactly sure why (though I do blame it entirely on my therapy) but now I don't get so angry. And when I am angry, I don't let it brew inside me for so long.
Frustration on the other, that still stays. Right now I'm frustrated with Mums because she repeats things that I've known since God knows when, and then gets made at me when she says the same goddamn fucking thing twenty million times. Like today. I have scheduling for next years classes on Thursday during English. There is one class where things are in a bit of a "confusion" because my history teacher (actually government but same diff) wants to see my grade improve before he'll give his consent for placing me in IB History I. Now there is a way to override his decision, but quite frankly I have more faith in myself and my school than my parents seem to have. Now I understand that my parents have been dealing with the school a lot longer than I have, but still. I don't honestly believe my guidance counselor would be so thick as to not reserve a spot for me in this class. Once Mr. Million signs off in May I'll just go back to my guidance couselor and say "Hey! Lookee here! I'm in IB History next year! Mr. Million says so!" The system may be fucked up, but I don't think it's that fucked up.
Now if the system worked the way my parents think it works, I would tell my guidance counselor on Thursday "IB History yes, but not yet" and somehow when May rolls around, I wouldn't be able to be in that class so I would be stuck in freshman history. :rolls eyes: So my Mums is telling me this on the car ride back from Flutopia. Does she realize how many times I've heard this? I already know what could happen. To me it seems highly unlikely, but I do know. So I get a little frustrated. I get a little snippy. So what does my mom do? Blow up at me. I've learned through past experience that since Mums has blown up at me, there's no way to defend myself. No point in defending myself. So instead of digging myself into a hole, or betray own values by apologizing I remain silent. Honestly, that may not have been the best decision, but it was the prefered option at the moment.
Now I've calmed down a little bit and I'm not so pissed off at Mums for blowing up at me both in the car and when we got home. I'm still frustrated though. I still don't understand why Mums thought I didn't know what could happen. Why she thought I was so thick.
I NEED MY BEATLES!!!!!!! Music: Cure-all for Nore
Frustration on the other, that still stays. Right now I'm frustrated with Mums because she repeats things that I've known since God knows when, and then gets made at me when she says the same goddamn fucking thing twenty million times. Like today. I have scheduling for next years classes on Thursday during English. There is one class where things are in a bit of a "confusion" because my history teacher (actually government but same diff) wants to see my grade improve before he'll give his consent for placing me in IB History I. Now there is a way to override his decision, but quite frankly I have more faith in myself and my school than my parents seem to have. Now I understand that my parents have been dealing with the school a lot longer than I have, but still. I don't honestly believe my guidance counselor would be so thick as to not reserve a spot for me in this class. Once Mr. Million signs off in May I'll just go back to my guidance couselor and say "Hey! Lookee here! I'm in IB History next year! Mr. Million says so!" The system may be fucked up, but I don't think it's that fucked up.
Now if the system worked the way my parents think it works, I would tell my guidance counselor on Thursday "IB History yes, but not yet" and somehow when May rolls around, I wouldn't be able to be in that class so I would be stuck in freshman history. :rolls eyes: So my Mums is telling me this on the car ride back from Flutopia. Does she realize how many times I've heard this? I already know what could happen. To me it seems highly unlikely, but I do know. So I get a little frustrated. I get a little snippy. So what does my mom do? Blow up at me. I've learned through past experience that since Mums has blown up at me, there's no way to defend myself. No point in defending myself. So instead of digging myself into a hole, or betray own values by apologizing I remain silent. Honestly, that may not have been the best decision, but it was the prefered option at the moment.
Now I've calmed down a little bit and I'm not so pissed off at Mums for blowing up at me both in the car and when we got home. I'm still frustrated though. I still don't understand why Mums thought I didn't know what could happen. Why she thought I was so thick.
I NEED MY BEATLES!!!!!!! Music: Cure-all for Nore
19.2.05
Neglect and Colleges
Not only am I neglecting this journal, I'm neglacting my diary-x journal. I guess I just have better things to do. :thinks: Nah, I've just been really lazy. I apologize though. The whole point of creating this blog was to be a more active blogger kinda person. I guess I'm just not very good at this commitment thing.
I've been getting a lot of brochures from colleges. Most of them are colleges I've never heard of, but most have been fairely interesting. Thus far I have 3 colleges in serious contention. 2 are out of state, but they're both very good fits for me. It's actually kinda funny thinking about colleges this early. I may have been held back (for the most idiotic reasons, but has helped in so many ways) but I'm only a sophmore in high school. I'm not graduating for another two years, let alone applying to colleges.
Alright I'm getting way distracted, so I'm just going to end this entry with a little quote:
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die...
I've been getting a lot of brochures from colleges. Most of them are colleges I've never heard of, but most have been fairely interesting. Thus far I have 3 colleges in serious contention. 2 are out of state, but they're both very good fits for me. It's actually kinda funny thinking about colleges this early. I may have been held back (for the most idiotic reasons, but has helped in so many ways) but I'm only a sophmore in high school. I'm not graduating for another two years, let alone applying to colleges.
Alright I'm getting way distracted, so I'm just going to end this entry with a little quote:
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die...
14.2.05
It's Good
It's good to feel excepted. Every time I visit one of my livejournal beatle communities (especially BeatlePics) I feel excepted. Why? Because I know that there are crazy girls my age who love the Beatles as much as I do. It feels good to know that other girls my age are squeeling over men who are a little less (or more) than 50 years older than us. At least I know that there are crazy people like me. Even if I'll never meet them, and they don't know I exsist (cuz I don't post). But they make my life happy, so who cares? Not I.
It's Me
I've never done this before and I will never do it again. Happy V-Day people, this is your gift:
God...
And just so you know, those are my dogs. The white one is Nikki and the brown is Rosie. Her official color is red, so yeah. Please don't hurt me...
God...
And just so you know, those are my dogs. The white one is Nikki and the brown is Rosie. Her official color is red, so yeah. Please don't hurt me...
Today
Today is a day for lots of chocolate and romantic tirades. Today is day to listen to the Beatles and dream of romance. Today is Valentine's day and I hate it so much. I'm jealous of those who have a somebody, and I wish this day didn't exsist.
Yes it's great that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend! I'm happy for you. Just don't rub in my face. See I don't have anyone to give me flowers and kisses and chocolates. I'm single. Ya know what that means don't ya? It means BUZZ OFF!
Today is a day for going home and listening to the Beatles. Lord knows I'm going to need them like hell.
Yes it's great that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend! I'm happy for you. Just don't rub in my face. See I don't have anyone to give me flowers and kisses and chocolates. I'm single. Ya know what that means don't ya? It means BUZZ OFF!
Today is a day for going home and listening to the Beatles. Lord knows I'm going to need them like hell.
12.2.05
Maybe if I show mums all the blouses that Eddie Bauer sells, she'll buy some for me. Maybe.
I need to wash my hair, but I'm to lazy and it's too close to lunch. Where should we go to lunch?
I'm trying to make my last entry show up. I honestly don't have anything to say right now. Maybe later. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
See y'all.
I need to wash my hair, but I'm to lazy and it's too close to lunch. Where should we go to lunch?
I'm trying to make my last entry show up. I honestly don't have anything to say right now. Maybe later. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
See y'all.
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