Going Through the Motions

This is getting harder and harder to do. The once clear and obvious path I walked down has suddenly turned into a vast wood with lots of gnats getting in the way. I don't really know what I want anymore. The future I had mapped out doesn't make sense anymore and things that I held closest to me are starting to slip away. Most of my interests are still intact, but I'm starting to retreat to the old and familiar. It's not as bad as 9th grade but I can feel myself moving in that direction. Hopefully this time I won't grow overly attached to a band that broke up forty years ago, but you never know.
I've started thinking about law school. I've also started thinking that London is more fun to visit than to live in. It feels like a terrible cop-out, giving up on something I've been working towards for two and a half years, but on the other hand the culture that surrounds radio here and back in the States is just something I can't tolerate. But I don't really know if law is what I want to do, though I figure if I get into the right field I won't end up like my Dad, which is the ultimate goal in the end.
But it's not all bad. It's a bit like last summer: As long as I don't think too hard about how homesick I am and how much I hate some of the people I live with and have to deal with, I'm fine. The constant need for chatter of some kind is a bit depressing in a meta way, but for the most part I avoid thinking too hard about the things that make me sad and focus on the things that don't make me sad like Top Gear and going into central London on little expeditions. I've only got a month and a half (about-ish) and the weather is finally starting to turn nice, though we'll see how long that lasts.
Bottom line is that I'm depressed and writing about the things I do means thinking and that's just not something I want to do. Therefore I will continue to update sporadically and infrequently.