Something/Some Thing

There's something about music that I've always loved. Even when I was little I would make up little songs to sing to myself by the nightlight in some weird version of something vaguely French. I've always seemed to love music. Even when I was doing ballet I really loved the music much more than I loved the dancing. There's just something in music, something pulls me, attracts me. I love music, I really honestly love music. It's a damn shame I can't get myself to practice more so I could be a music major. But it's not the playing so much. It's the listening. The disecting of the music. I really enjoy that. Learning about music, listening to music. There's just something about music.

There are some things that you don't forget. First book, first kiss, first car, first apartment, first boyfriend, lots of firsts. There are singular memories that won't be forgotten, little things said to you that will impact you forever. Actions and reactions that will linger. As much as I don't hold grudges some things that my Mum does won't be forgotten. The bold assumption that my life revolves around R, her own elephantine memory of everything I've ever done wrong. The way she makes me feel, good and bad. There are just some things that I can't let go of. The fact that she still doesn't trust me, her double standards. I don't think she says most of what she does on purpose but nonetheless her words bite. There some things you don't forget.