Nerves and Palms

6 days till school starts. I' m wondering whether I should wear boots the first day, though that seems rather stupid. Probably better off wearing my clogs. I'm not really nervous yet, just in disbelief that school is starting so soon. I'm sure by Monday I'll be in a panic, and Tuesday morning I won't be awake enough to be in a panic. God I'll barely be awake enough to remember my preordained outfit. Also, I won't have my mp3 to save me. Ah well. I just can't believe it.
My palms are getting sweaty. I must be nervous.
I wish I could get sick right now. If I became sick then I wouldn't have to go to marching band. Well, I would have to go, but I wouldn't have to march. Maybe I could somehow break my arm in the next 15 minutes. Yeah. :rolls eyes: I'm so pathetic. But can you really blame me? Marching band sucks and anyone who says otherwize is a complete looney. :sigh: I guess I shouldn't complain. That only makes the whole thing worse.
I may get nervous about school, but it will defininatly be a much needed relief. No longer will I have to find ways to entertain myself!! Nay I will forced to work arduous hours to appease the homework gods with nary a break. What a relief from the tedium that is August.
Sing loud, listen long, read much, smile often. Thats what I say.

I officially declare insanity

I officially declare insanity. I honestly think I’ve gone over the edge of fangirl-dom into shear madness. Last night was amazing (if slightly disappointing) and I’m getting so pumped up about October, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to handle school. I mean there’s the concert (Foo Fighters, Weezer, t’Chiefs) and the new Franzie cd that month. God I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it. That’s why I’m declaring myself insane until then. After October I think I’ll be okay. Until then, I think I’ll be crazy.
I’m suppose to be doing my English. The whole first part though is retyping these passages, which is incredibly dull. So to fight this off I have t’Chiefs on. After t’Chiefs I will listen to the Killers. I’m not entirely sure if I’ll watch the VMAs, but I’m pretty sure I will. I’m just that devoted. :sigh: I can’t wait till school starts.

Keane on SNL

:thinks: This is a repeat. A goddamn fucking repeat of fucking SNL. :slumps: Stupid weekend update making me think this was live. Then again maybe I'm just not very smart. :thinks: I think it's that yeah.
1st song: Simple Thing
Tom always wears black. I don't think he's ever worn anything else when he performs. May haps he's making up for his purple pants incident? Tom in purple pants. So yeah. Gorgeous, gorgeous, even in purple pants. (credit to curlyheadgt at livejournal)
2nd song: Everbody's Changing
Love, ah what a word.
(P.S.-fucking hour and half to hear/see them for 6ish minutes. Well worth it, but still, long time)

Keane in 4 minutes (SNL)

I'm going to watch Keane, and then I'm going to die. I'll die an incredibly happy woman and will never ever have to deal with high school or college or falling in love or Dr. Farber. Yes I will be completely happy, so I'll be able to die. :sigh: Oh I do love Tom so much.
Like the layout?

Lonely

:sigh: Is there such a thing as too much music?
I'm not sure what to write about. I have the whole night to myself (which I hate) and I don't know what I want to do. My best idea is to listen to all my favorite cds and fill the house with noise so I don't feel so lonely, cuz I don't really want to watch a movie. Or at least if I watch a movie I'll still feel lonely.
I feel lonely when I'm by myself for one reason. Stuart Hall. Spending so much time by myself there has left me with a big need to never be alone again. It's not that I want to be social, I just don't want to be (etre) without people.
I feel incoherant right now. I'm terribly sorry I haven't been updating. I don't really have the time though. I'm either at band or sleeping because of band. I don't have that much time basically. It makes me sad, but honestly who reads this? NO ONE.
:sigh: My best friends are make believe and my love life is a fantasy. I don't think thats sad do you?

Mark time Mark

Today begins my second week of band camp. Thank Bob I don't have to go in the morning this week!
So far I have burned my back to nice dark tan, lost complete faith in the musicality of people, practically cried and found my new John. Much like the band I'm way ahead of schedule compared to last year. I mean I was still in the mindset that nothing could go wrong last year and this year I'm almost as pessimistic as I was in mid-September of last year. Yay!
On the other hand my dissent into school paranoia has been stopped. Most of that energy is being taken up in hating marching band and all that it stands for. Sadly even that energy isn't enough to keep me from not being able to keep my eyes open if I don't take a nap in between the morning session and the afternoon session. :nods sagely: Oh the loathing is deep.
In other good news I have heard the new single from the new Franzie cd. :claps: Much goodness mes copains. Of course it's totally illegal and I'm now going to be arrested. :waits: Yeah.
Also I have finished 2/3 of my summer assignments. Considering how there are 3 (essentially) thats pretty damn hot. Hopefully the history essay isn't too snarky. I'm a little worried about that. But nonetheless I am very happy to be done with that. Now all I have left is a little more Gatsby annotating and I'll be all ready for school.
Oh one last thing. That whole thingy about not seeing Dr. Farber is now complete bs. Mums talked to him last Thursday and well...he's too damn smart! Convinced the pants off of her so I'm going to continue to see the head shrinker. Guess it's not so bad. :shrugs:
"Hi Loghman! Why no I'm not trying to hide from all these people, you're crazy."

Caffeine and Bouncy Music

I'm getting the distinct feeling that I'm going to need a lot of caffeine and that I won't be able to listen to Keane. That "Marvin mood" I was talking about the other day has been lurking around far longer than I wanted. So, the best remedy I have is to listen to incredibly bouncy music and have lots of caffeine to keep my energy up. I can't quite put my finger on the cause of the Marvin mood but I'm fairly sure it has something to do with the impending weeks.
To start off with I have a week at the beach avec ma mere's famille. It's not that I hate these guys, it's just...well they annoy the crap out of me if I spend too much time with them. So what should have been my last week of vacation is turning out to be a week of hermiting with my Dad. To say the least, this is not how I like to spend a week at the beach. Hopefully though, things won't turn out too badly and all this ill feeling will be for not.
Then of course we have marching band. :scowls: Yes starting a week from Monday I'm going to be counting down the days till November when the band's "Tag Day" concert is, and when marching band season officially ends. I think this year will be particularly painful because the music annoys me so much. I mean by the time school started last year, I hated marching band. And last year we did "West Side Story" a musically I really like. So just imagine going into this with a deep dislike of the music. Torture my friends, torture.
So marching band starts about 3 weeks before school. Thinking about marching band makes me think about school. Despite the fact that I really have nothing to fear, I'm still kind of scared of school this year. Thankfully my fears have moved from academic to social. See, I'm use to being afraid of the social part of school. This I can handle in some manner. I guess really I'm not afraid so much as nervous. There are certain people (Loghman, Marshall) who I really want to be in my class(es) this upcoming year. And then there are the people (Alec, Miles) who I really don't want in my classes this year, and because of the sort of non-traditional set of classes I'm taking (regular physics, 10th grade p.e., not foreign language) there's a very good chance the aformentioned people could be and could not be in my classes. I'm just very worried about the social aspect of my school life this year, and of course the old "falling into bad habits" thing. That definantly worries me.
:sigh: The one thing I have to look forward to is the new Franzie cd. It comes out in October and the single is set for release on Sept. 19. I have that to look forward to and possibly the new Killers cd sometime in the winter/early spring. Plus there's English this year. Amazingly enough I'm really looking forward to that. Ever since I decided that I want to be an English major I've been looking forward to whatever English holds for me this year. :nods: I have a couple of things to look forward to.
"This fire is out of control..."-This Fire, Franzie
Edit: Something I didn't mention when I orginally posted this entry was the fact that I won't be seeing Dr. Farber anymore. It's for the best, but still something like this makes one worry. How will he react? How will I do without seeing him? :sigh: It makes me worry. Thats probably the biggest worry, and something I have no control over. To a certain extent I have control over some of what is bogging me down, but this I can do nothing about. Big decisions make me worry. And to say the least, this is a big decision.

Stupid Franzie

:glares at Franzie: EITHER DO THE ORIGINAL OR GODDAMNIT NAME THE SONG SOMETHING ELSE!!!!!!!
This makes me mad. I forget which album, but the Beatles did a song called "This Boy." Oh wait it's on Past Masters 1. I love that song. Johnny boy sings, and damn if he doesn't sound passionate. Stupid franzie. Couldn't they have named their song something else? I mean really.
Alright, thats all for now. I have to calm myself down.

CHEESE!!!

As anyone who's knows (my family and few stu people) me knows I love cheese. So here's a quiz I just found.

Cheese Test: What type of cheese are you?

Ugh

I'm in a bit of Marvin mood. Too many back to school adverts, not enough confidence in myself. In any event I had promised a full report on the last weeks concert but after a week I decided the following link should be enough. I gave you the play list didn't I? Ugh, I honestly feel like Marvin. If you don't know who I'm talking about GO READ HITCHHIKER'S!!!!! I command you do it. I'll feel better. Well here's the link
Kaiser Chiefs
Yay!! I've never done that before. I feel kinda spiff now. Oh and another thing. GO LISTEN TO MAXIMO PARK!!! There all my yelling and commanding is finished for the night. Hope I feel better soon :laughs sarcastically:

List

Here is the song list of the concert on Friday night. I'm working up a big entry on the whole thing but I thought I'd give you a morsel. So here:

1. Na Na Na Na Naa
2. Saturday Night
3. Everyday I Love You Less and Less
4. Born To Be a Dancer
5. I Predict a Riot
6. You Can Have It All (damn you Helen!!!)
7. ? (possible b-side though I wouldn't know)
8. Modern Way (salute)
9. Oh My God
10. Time Honoured Tradition (with correct British spelling)

Encore

1. Caroline, Yes
2. Nice Place (that was in the chorus, again possible b-side)

So there you go. Lovely show, big entry up tomorrow hopefully.

Edit as of January 2, 2006: The last song they played was "Take my Temperature." It wasn't the chorus either. It was the bit before the chorus in the first verse. :nods: Still don't know what the other b-side track is. Didn't write any nice clues for that. Anywho, carry on.

Drive

Today I went driving. I haven't been out driving since May at least, and today was excellent. There is a park about 15 minutes from my house with lots of empty parking lots and few two way roads that go for a long way. Lake Fairfax is the name. Mums and I went up to the this area I didn't know was there. It was up a hill, up a slightly windy road that someday I will drive down, where there are 3 soccer fields and a place for campers to park and such. At the end of the area there is a smallish parking lot. After a reminder of which was the brake and the accelerator, I drove around the parking lot four times and then went down the road, which was also slightly windy, and drove into the camper parking lot. That end was gravel, which I don't particularly like, and had a little nook where one could park a regular car. Mums thought I would just make an oval and head back towards the other end. I had other plans. I took a straight path towards the very last parking space and with full intention slowing down made my way into the spot. Unfortunatly I gave Mums quite a scare by accidently accelerating into the spot. After calming down I backed out of the spot and headed back to the other parking lot. This routine (minus the slam into parking spot) occured 3 times. As we drove back to the other end one last time Mums wondered out loud whether we were entertaining the camper parking lot attendant. I saw a cell phone in his hand and assumed that the eyes behind the sunglasses could care less. I hope I didn't entertain him. Lord I entertained myself though. One who doesn't know me shouldn't drive with, for I believe said person would never want to know me. I made many odd little noises while making my right hand turns very slowly. All in all a fun 45 minutes. I hope tomorrow will be even better. And one day I will drive down the hill with Mums gripping the side of the door very tightly. I don't care what the crazy lady says, I know driving down that hill will be fun.


DRIVE

I feel fine...

I feel fine, I think I'll go for a walk now. :Falls over: Damn vicodine. Ah but at least it makes my mouth not hurt.
I gots my wisdom teeth out yesterday. I'm now 4x stupider (hohoho.) I'll tell ya one thing. Numb chins are a real pain. I couldn't tell what I was doing when I was sipping my chocolate milk. I was quite worried that I was slopping all over myself. Thankfully I wasn't. So do ya want to here my wisdom teeth surgery story? It's really interesting!
So I went in really, really nervous. I didn't want to do it at all. But I didn't really have a choice. So I was proped up in this dentist chair. The nice assistant person put three monitors on me and then this white cover sheet. Then the knock out person came and put an oxygen thing up my nose, which wasn't very comfortable. Then Dr Bonnaci (or however you spell his name) stuck a thing in my hand and commented on the fact that I have small veins. After el doctero stuck the needle in my hand the knock out guy told me to take some deep breathes through my nose. Then I woke up. The funny thing is after surgeries they always put a blanket over you. I guess it's nice in a way. Just something funny.
So there's my story. I spent the rest of the day in mum's bed sleeping and drinking chocolate milk. After Gilmore Girls I got a milkshake, which was really good. Took another vicodine, checked stuff on my computer, fell asleep. All in all a pretty okay day. Didn't sleep well. Woke up with a great pain in my mouth, after the vicodine and ibprofen wore off. Had some weird thoughts about the whole matter. Noticed that my face was swelling up. Thought that if lied on the opposite side of the swelling, said swelling would stop. Not so much.
Ya know whats good? Scrambled eggs with cheese. :nods: That and ice cream. :nods: Sigh. Thats it kiddies. Have a good time doing stuff.

Holy Diet Coke!

I'm updating two days in a row!! Shock and awe. I felt I owed it to you guys to actually say something about the last month or so. Now it's kind of late, and for me it's rather hard to describe but I'll try. Hmm lets see...
Well my last real entry said that the summer has started off badly. It kinda went down hill from there, but it's not too horrible now. Actually that first week was probably the worst. The after shock of my report card always makes Mum go crazy. Dad was switching law offices, so he's been pretty much out of the whole thing. Which is good in a way. Dad is always worse than Mum. Cold silence is much worse than yelling any day of the week in my book. Anyway, the only way I made it through the week was distracting myself with clarinet camp (which I'll get to) and listening to Keane. Mostly Keane anyway. I've been branching out. Ya know Maximo Park, Hot Hot Heat, Keane. A large percentage Keane. I made it through the worst, like I always do, and have survived to tell the tale. Like I always do.
Now Clarinet Camp. I've decided that I never, ever want to be a professional clarinet player. Nor do I want to go to a music school. Really I would just like to avoid having anything to do with professional playing at all. I don't have the heart. And I really don't want to socialize with the people who do. I've decided that even teachers are either flakes, space cadets or control freaks. Nothing else between the head. No intellect, no curiousity. Oh just nothing I can connect with. I have the love of music to take me through the next two years, but I don't have the passion to make it through the next 6 years. Maybe the only thing that could get me to keep with this through college is if I could find the weirdos. The weirdos would make the others bareable. Oh yes. Oh! One thing. If anyone goes to VCU and knows Dr. West, I'm sorry for the following comment. God what a fucking dick. I totally fucked up the last part of our last piece. I didn't come in at the beginning (no thanks to the 13 bar rest) and Dr. West got me in just in time for my last solo. So when he comes to say hi, no "good job on the solos." No he goes right in the for the kill. I was sweating like a dog and felt horrible. Thanks Dr. West for your fake enthusazem. Really the people I most appreciated weren't the dick who was conducting (though I was thankful for his cues) but the two people sitting right next to me.
Dr. Brian Jones is a bit of an oddball. Different sense of humor than most people, but something I appreciate. He plays bass clarinet, and I'm not even going to go in to my impression of him from last year. Totally false. Anyway, he was sitting next to me the whole time. In my first solo I was so freaked out that I didn't notice anything strange. Mums and Sophs says he was smiling, which was nice. No it wasn't until my second solo that I noticed something. He was softly clapping on his leg. The guy was clapping for me. The only people who have ever appreciated my playing and said so are Ms. Blum, my mom and Judy (in a way.) The fact that some guy who didn't know me, who teaches far more talented students was clapping for me, god it just made my night.
So other than totally messing the fugue, the finale concert went really well. Now I get to retell the "story" all over again tomorrow for Nancy. Yay!
Hmm, lets see what else. Mums took my internet card away, but it isn't a punishment. It's get me to try and control how much time I spend online. Since then I've slept a lot, tried to get my score in spider solitare under 1190 and read a book. The book is my proudest accomplishment. Julian Barnes, just fyi, is a really great author. Kinda like Douglas Adams (GO READ HITCHHIKER'S) but more serious. And not sci-fi/fantasy oriented. More "mature." Right now I'm reading "Talking it Over." I read "The History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters" in a day in a half (ah the irony.) I don't think I'll finish this one quite so fast. Anyway if you've read everything fiction work by Douglas Adams (GO READ HITCHHIKER'S) you should give Julian Barnes.
Hmm...Nothing else to report. I'm going to be doing a survey course of Pre-Calc. There is news concerning a couple of classes I'm taking next year, but I really don't want to go over that again. Very uncomfortable. Just happy I'm not taking french next year. So anywho, not much else to report. Will try to give better reports. Will really try hard to give a better report on t'Chiefs concert (2 weeks 2 days). Like actually tell you about it, which I didn't really do with the Killers/Keane concert. I will try. Goodnight, goodnight...(goes off into a song.)

hahaha

Don't ya wish I would actually update? Well suckers you're all SOL. And don't mean those dumb-ass Virginia tests. No really update, just dumb survey. Hahahaha.

A- Age of 1st kiss: LOL! I wish. Oh let me guess...20?
B- Band you are listening to right now: I have Keane stuck in my head. Does that count?
C- 1st Crush: God...some guy in pre-school :rolls eyes:
D- Dad's name: Terry
E- Easiest person to talk to: Hmm...No one I've ever known. But I'm not much of a talker.
F- Favorite ice cream: Chocolate. Any kind of chocolate.
G- Gummy worms or gummy bears?: I ask you-Difference?
H- Hometown: Washington D.C. bitch (ya so what if I didn't live in downtown...)
I- Instruments: clarinet
J- Junior high: Langston Hughes/ Stuart Hall
K- Kids: 2 at the most
L- Longest car ride ever: Chicago, oy the stiff neck
M- Mom's name: Lissa
N- Nicknames: Norbert, Baron...no one actually calls me those things anymore though...yeah lack of friends and everything
O- One wish: Meet Brandon, Tom, Ricky and Maxie Park...all of them
P- Phobia[s]: failing (ha! I've already done that...still afraid though, still afraid) talking to strangers (which I won't do and you can't make me :evil eye:)
Q- Quote: this isn't a quote, it's a command. GO READ HITCHHIKER'S!! you will find multiple quotes in there.
R- Reason to smile: Keane, Killers, Maximo Park, t'Chiefs and Heat
S- Song you sang last: A song my Nelly Furtado, I think "Island of Wonder"
T- Time you woke up today: 8:30ish
U- Unknown fact about me: ^_~ like you guys will get to know...
V- Virgin: LOL!! yes
W- Worst habit: failing
X- X-rays you've had: Teeth and nose
Y- Your least favorite person as of right now?: No one in particular. Hard to yet when you don't know anybody. Plus I've given up on hating Miles.
Z-Zodiac sign: Taurus. Ford taurus.

Have fun while I practice.

I'm Back

I've decided that I'm either going to gain a lot of weight or wear a burka so as boys will not stare at me. Especially dumb jerk boys (who live across the street.) I decided this very recently and plan to implement it as soon as I get some money and good place to stash chocolate and the like so the dogs and my mother can't find it.
Uh. This summer is starting off badly. Of course I haven't had a summer that hasn't started off badly since 6th grade. Thankfully I passed all my classes so there won't be any summer school for me!! I am taking a summer course, but thats much different. Thats a choice, not obligation thing. Anyway, I'm going into a meeting tomorrow were I will try not to bash my counselor's head in or the history teacher's head. I hope it won't be to painful and I hope that Mr. Million will not be present. I don't think I could take it if Mr. Million were there. But the meeting will have a happy ending and hopefully will be short. If it isn't I will seriously consider marching out of the room in a very huffy manner.
Lets see, what have you missed? Well since I haven't update since the 13th quite a bit. I've become totally obsessed with Keane, know all the lyrics (amazingly enough) and think Tom Chaplin has the sweetest most wonderful smile ever. Also...I got invited to a party I didn't go to because I had been crying since 8:30 in the morning. I had a horrible last day of school, just horrible. Ugh.
I've been making myself feel better with Keane. I think all of you should go listen to them. Bon nuit mes amies!!

Concert

Fun from start to finish

If there was one lesson to be learned Wednesday night at Merriweather Post Pavilion, it was that nice guys — sensitive guys who probably weren’t the coolest in high school, the kind who love their mothers — sometimes finish first.

Members of the English trio Keane are definitely those guys. Touted as openers for the keyboard-infused quartet the Killers, Keane managed to steal the show from perhaps one of the hottest American rock acts currently on tour — and all without a guitar.

The Killers arrived on a luxuriously curtained and blood-red stage looking as though they’d walked right out of their hometown of Las Vegas. They opened with “Jenny Was a Friend of Mine,” the first song from their 2004 debut release, “Hot Fuss.” The foursome — propelled onto the charts last year with their hits “Somebody Told Me” and “Mr. Brightside” — are part of the brigade of “the” bands (the Vines, the White Stripes, the Strokes), which, generally, are known for resurrecting the sounds of yesteryear.

In the Killers’ case, it’s a provocative mix of 1980s synthesizers and light punk with songs that tell dark Vegas stories about equally dark (but fun and mostly jealous) characters with names such as Natalie, Andy and, of course, Jenny.

Their performance was clearly focused on singer-keyboardist Brandon Flowers — decked out in his trademark black eyeliner and the skinniest pants this side of the Mason-Dixon Line — who came at the crowd with a strong voice and plenty of operatic arm swoops, but not much more.

Words for the crowd were few and far between, and so were surprises — save for a B-side, a new song and Mr. Flowers’ sudden playful tackle of guitarist David Keuning. The earnest and very personable Keane was a tough act for any band to follow, but theKillers’ larger-than-life, blinking-lights performance somehow didn’t quite meet expectations.

Their thousands of fans couldn’t have cared less. The quartet jumped into “Somebody Told Me” early into their set, and within moments, the entire pavilion was singing “You had a boyfriend/Who looks like a girlfriend/That I had in February of last year.”

“Mr. Brightside” was the band’s final song before the encore, and it had many in the crowd speeding back to their seats or their spot on the lawn (beer spilling and nachos flying) to sing along. All in all, a fun show — but maybe they should have opened for Keane.

Source: Washington Times

:claps hands: Yay!! Someone else remembered the concert!! :laugh:
So what if Brandon isn't personable? So what if the first thing that comes to mind is some Tom (of Keane) said? Plus, the people who left are dorks who don't understand what an encore is. :rolls eyes: Does it help that I love both bands almost equally? Anyway it doesn't really matter if Brandon barely smiled, for me the fact that he was there. And hot. So yeah....have fun!!
Much thanks to TKO (The Killers Online) for posting the article. Tres bien.

Concert=daze

I will begin by saying the concert was absolutly fucking fantastic. It was more than that, but quite frankly my vocabulary seems to disappear when I start to think about the concert. For those of you who have been to a/some rock concert(s) I think you know what I mean. :nods: My fucking god it was awsome. And Brandon was super-duper hot. :nods: :smiles:
KEANE!!!! I (finally) got their cd. They were one of four opening acts, and I just went crazy when I heard them. So on thursday I got their cd. And I have the chorus for the 3 of the first 4 songs stuck in my head currently. They are so totally awsome.
Well my sister has told me to get off so I will. I'll update later. Or some more.

Hot Hot Heat

Oh... Is it real? I don't know
But, I'll act as if it is
What's our deal? I don't know
But, I'll act as if it is what I think that it is
If it is, then this might just work*

Yay for Hot Hot Heat. They have become my new "listen to this cd on repeat 15 times in a row, can't live without it" band. Well "Elevator" has. I don't much care for their previous cd. Which I don't believe was their first, but the other might have been EPs which are different than cds for some reason. Anyway, I love "Elevator."
Two days till the Killers concert. Two days. Just a warning.

A jack-of-all-trades and a master of none
Why do I have to be bored with being foolish and young?
The show isn't over, but I'm long since gone
I feel like I let them down when I don't wanna trade my sunshine for a cloudy night^

I will convince the whole world that Douglas Adams was genius. Even if takes the rest of my life. I do mean that. Everyone will know the genius of Douglas Adams before I die. Goddamnit

Welcome to the island of the honest man
Do what you want - there is no need to impress us
Welcome to the island of the honest man
We don't believe in what the big people tell us~

*You Owe Me and IOU
^Pickin' It Up
~Island of the Honest Man
damnit...I don't have room to quote Middle of Nowhere....go listen to it!!!

Applescrufs

Apple scrufs. Claymates. Victims. Chiefs and Chiefettes. Rabid fans. Fanatics. Just a few words that describe the hopelessly devoted. We listen to every single, cling to every quote and pray that our idol(s) will come to an arena/club/theater nearby. We crave them, learn everything we can about them. I personally make it my mission to know everyone's name in the group and what instrument they play, so I will never be confused. We make up cute nicknames (at least I do) and refer to them by first name, as they're our best friends. Some mock us, but the bands ultimately appreciate us. We give them votes and money. Yes, it is sort of depressing fans have with their idols. The idols love us for our devotion, no matter how horriblly they act, no matter how crappy their music gets, and we love them in turn for breathing, smiling, singing, beating on drums etc. In the end though each camp benefits. The fans give the stars their stardom, and the fans get something to enjoy. Not a perfect relationship, but one that has been going on for decades now. I'm just glad to be a part of it.
I'm in a relatively good mood today. Wish I felt better, but then again Sundays weren't made to be wonderful days. I'm actually feeling very blah-ish, but then there hasn't been a day in the past month or so where that hasn't been true. I know I'm depressed, but it's the kind of depression I've felt for so long that it doesn't faze, doesn't feel weird. It's my reaction to stress. I'm glad though that I'm not at Stu. Somehow I think things would be worse if I weren't here. I know for a fact I'd be eating a pizza right now, all by myself thank you very much. I won't look back, I know I can't. I don't have the energy to save anyone anymore. I'm using all my extra energy trying to save myself and I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it. I'm starting to ramble so I'll move on.
I've applied for my first job. I applied to be a sales clerk at Books-A-Million today. The nice cashier guy said he would give it to the manager and that I'd here from him in a few days. The place was pratically deserted, but then again it is Memorial Day weekend. Maybe its busier during the week. Anyway, I'm very excited and I really, really, hope I get hired. Wish me luck mes copains!!