So here's just a little glimpse into the paranoia that dwells in my head:
I have a stats tracker on my Blogger blog that keeps track (surprise, surprise) of everyone who visits my blog. Most people stay for no seconds, but some people stay for a minute or so. I always check those people who stay for a minute or so, just to see where they're from and what parts of my blog they were checking out. Granted the stats tracker isn't too, too in depth, so I really only know what page a person started on and what page they left on. However the other day when I was checking my hit counter (I use Site Meter in case you're wondering) I noticed that someone from my university had been at my blog for one minute and thirteen seconds. That kind of freaked me out I'll be honest, especially considering where they started (Nov. 2008) and ended (this month). I know on the LJ version of this blog there's at least one person from school who reads it (there may be more but they aren't my friend) but outside of that there's no real way to check who the hell is reading my blog. Being all paranoid and stuff, I looked up the IP address I was given by Site Meter. Turns out it was a library computer. Really I just hope whoever was reading my Blogger blog didn't figure out who's writing this. Or doesn't know me and therefore would be unable to figure out who's writing this because there are some people who I would prefer never found out about this blog. I'm weird like that.
28.6.09
26.6.09
Two Weeks of News
Sorry for the long ass break in updates. In an effort to keep my blog emo free I haven't been updating as much. There's been much emoness in the past two weeks (life shattering realizations can kind of make a girl sad) and work has drained me of the rest of my energy. Yes folks, I'm back at WPFW archiving shows for the Minott. Granted there's been a shit ton of craziness happening behind the scenes at WPFW, mostly changes in staff and crazy hooha like that. Still, it's the same thing I did last summer, I'm just not doing it five days a week. Also, I would like to point out that it takes a crazy short amount of time for CNN and tourists to get really frustrating/annoying. CNN has gone from semi-bullshitty to really insane bullshitty in just a year and I blame it on the old media's discovery of social networking sites. As great as Facebook and Twitter are for keeping up to date with friends and family, I don't really trust it for news reporting. It's like relying on The Mirro for accurate news on DW. As for the tourists, it's the same complaints as always: They don't know how to walk up escalators, their kids run wild on the Metro, and they don't know how to share the side walk. I'm all for people visiting the sites in DC and appreciating the history and all that, but for christ's sake I need to get to my stop and you're in my way!
So in an effort to work out a lot of my pent up frustration towards certain people, I've decided to take up kickboxing. I took my first class yesterday and right now I'm so sore I can't move properly. We started the class with six minutes of jump roping (can't do that very well) and ended the class with six minutes of jump roping (really couldn't do that). There were leg squats and push-ups (and explosive push-ups) and jumping jacks and curl-ups and a lot of punching. I didn't feel my abs until early this morning, but the squats were almost immediate. Really, everything is just incredibly sore. And I'll be doing it all over again on Tuesday. I've gone crazy obviously.
So in an effort to work out a lot of my pent up frustration towards certain people, I've decided to take up kickboxing. I took my first class yesterday and right now I'm so sore I can't move properly. We started the class with six minutes of jump roping (can't do that very well) and ended the class with six minutes of jump roping (really couldn't do that). There were leg squats and push-ups (and explosive push-ups) and jumping jacks and curl-ups and a lot of punching. I didn't feel my abs until early this morning, but the squats were almost immediate. Really, everything is just incredibly sore. And I'll be doing it all over again on Tuesday. I've gone crazy obviously.
12.6.09
Money, Sex...Cat
Well it seems that the pop culture juggernaut known as Twilight has finally lured me into its evil trap. Yes folks, I watched it and am still laughing. The great thing is that I took notes! So here they are, incoherant and not always in complete sentences.
- awful voice overs
- they're suppose to be in high school? all of them? seriously?
- awful emoness acting makes me sad
- robert pattinson, not so bad though, still laughable, but not as bad as kristen stewart
- oh god the contacts of doom!
- we are made of wood...balsa wood
- "you don't say hi to me"...or make eye contact
- this dialogue is amazing...ly awful and stilted, except for robert b/c he can act kind of
- edward: over protective stalker/psycho
- can't decide if this is more or less ridiculous than logan's run
- "money, sex, money, sex...cat"
- how do you grow up and not know about vampires? seriously? i mean they have one on seasame street for christ's sake
- not only does this movie hurt my soul, but the music hurts my soul too
- pattison can't always keep control of his american accent, and it's so cute when he slips :D
- "here comes the human!"
- jasper is constipated
- normal couples don't try and dance to claire de lune [because it's basically impossible, given that there's no clear beat or time signature, and I'm fairly certain it's in some weird time signature anyway]
- well that was creepy as fuck [Edward suddenly appearing in Bella's room for longer than two seconds]
- characters i like: dad, evil vampires (aka the people i'm not suppose to like)
- no! not muse, don't use muse during a baseball game!
- competitive vampire baseball: much cooler than normal baseball
- yay mormon doctor!
- i can't be bothered, this movie is too stupid
- i hope they pay for the damages done to that studio
- while edward sucks out the venom in the backgroud: yay fire! yay fire!
- i can't finish my sentences either! not only can't i leave you, i can't...i can't...:acts all flustered:
- prom? seriously? god this movie...can't finish the sentence
- they really can't dance, can they...:sigh: it's like the end of logan's run: stupid and pointless
- pattison's earnestness makes this whole thing so much more painful
- nice ending though (love the evil vampires)
8.6.09
Honey, I'm BAAAAAAAAACK
So technically speaking it's between three weeks since my last non-emo update. I do realize that's a bit of a lie (I mean when was the last time I wasn't being seriously emo? I can't remember is the correct answer), but we're going to go with that standard because if I was to be honest it's been...well it's been a very long time since I wasn't at least mildly emo. So now for some non-emo-ness, I promise.
Header 1: University of Westminster Might Actually Happen :D
So since the last proper post on this blog, I arranged a meeting with IAS and spoke with the head of the program this past Thursday. Turns out his biggest concern was the fact that I mentioned that I was depressed. Once he found out it was over a boy (yet another grown man telling me what asses men are) he wasn't so concerned. Didn't mention that I'm going into therapy partially because of said boy, nor did I mention the fact that I have SAD, but I actually know how to handle SAD so I'm not too concerned at the moment. I was mostly just really relieved to hear that Mr. Musick (I kid you not) is more than willing to step up to bat for me and seems really positive that I'll be accepted. Of course all of this means that I can now start worrying about the application process and writing 300 to 500 words about "why I wish to join the Study Abroad Programme." :sigh: My life can be so difficult at times ;)
Header 2: Dear God, I Have All This News
So in the weeks since I went on hiatus, I've been collecting news articles like a bandit. This is mostly because some really interesting news has cropped up that I wish to comment on, and even though I'm going to be recording a demo show (for U of W, don't ya know) using most of these articles, I feel I should point them out for you, my wonderful readers. So here we go:
Blur announce that they're planning US and European dates for some time in the future. While I'm not exactly "for" this whole Blur reuniting thing, if they do come to the US, I will pay exorbitant amounts of money to see them. I'm hypocritical and crazy like that.
Americans will actually get to see the Doctor Who specials before they become redundant. BBC America has finally gotten the rights to DW, which means I'll actually get to rewatch the already aired specials, and probably see the unaired ones too, before I'm fifty, which is really good. I'm also very excited about new Torchwood and all of this being aired around the same time. My brain may explode, but it will be from dorky happiness instead of sad insanity.
In another piece of Blur related news, the band will be coming out with a Blur primer for the uninitiated. I'm pretty sure I could download most, if not all, of the tracks mentioned from Zune from their original albums and have the same experience as buying the compilation. Still, it's a nice way for the timid to get to know the band while also potentially earning the band a nice chunk of change. Yay capitalism.
For some inexplicable reason, the tabloids thought that the Kaiser Chiefs were being dropped by their label. This is not true, obviously. I'm fairly certain t'Chiefs are the biggest name on the B-Unique label and dropping them would be more than idiotic. However I am very pleased to hear that Whitey is going to be a dad. I don't know why that makes me happy, but it does.
I'm not really into video games. I don't have the right kind of coordination for it. However, I love Guitar Hero and Rock Band, so we all know that I'm going to want the latest version of Guitar Hero. And not just because it has The Arctic Monkeys, Blur, Muse, Kaiser Chiefs, the Killers, and David Bowie. No I want it because it has Coldplay ;D
Speaking of the Arctic Monkeys, they're going to be releasing an album soonish. In fact it's going to be released on the second day of school (also known as August 25th.) I'm very pleased, to say the least, since it's been a really long f-ing time since they released an album and I miss being able to mercilessly mock them for being obvious award bait. That's all I can say about that really. Though I hope Sean "Puffy, whatever the hell his latest nickname is" Combs doesn't have any actual involvement. There have been rumours ya know.
Finally, the Cribs will eventually be releasing an album, in my estimation this winter, based on how long it's taken them to record the damn thing, and Ashes to Ashes has been renewed for another series/season which makes me very happy since I never want it to end.
Header 3: All the Strange Things I've Watched in the Past Month
Since I've had way too much free time on my hands since coming home from school (way, waaaaaay too much free time) I've taken it upon myself to watch some movies/shows that I feel I need to see before I die. Hence why I've watched all of Life on Mars and Logan's Run. By the way, if you've ever thought "hey, Michael York was pretty good in that Three Musketeers movie, I should watch Logan's Run", don't. It's awful and an hour too long. However it's so incredibly bad that it's good in a weird way. But still an hour too long.
Another one of the movies I've watched recently is The Shining. My dad is a huge fan of Stanley Kubrick and so I kind of automatically assumed he would love The Shining. Not so much. Mum likes and Sophs hasn't actually seen it all the way through, which I found to be kind of odd since she's the cinephile of the family. I really liked the film though, mostly because it's allowed me to introduce a new strange mannerism into my conversations: Tony (aka Danny's imaginary friend). Of all the strange and wonderfully over used imagery The Shining has given the world, I'm really surprised no one has picked up on Tony. I think that was my favourite part of the entire movie. I'm just sad I already knew all the twists and scary bits (thanks pop culture) and none of it phased me really. Except Tony. Tony was great :D
So that's it. Set lists for Cake and the White Rabbits will be up as soon as I've figured out all the song titles.
Header 1: University of Westminster Might Actually Happen :D
So since the last proper post on this blog, I arranged a meeting with IAS and spoke with the head of the program this past Thursday. Turns out his biggest concern was the fact that I mentioned that I was depressed. Once he found out it was over a boy (yet another grown man telling me what asses men are) he wasn't so concerned. Didn't mention that I'm going into therapy partially because of said boy, nor did I mention the fact that I have SAD, but I actually know how to handle SAD so I'm not too concerned at the moment. I was mostly just really relieved to hear that Mr. Musick (I kid you not) is more than willing to step up to bat for me and seems really positive that I'll be accepted. Of course all of this means that I can now start worrying about the application process and writing 300 to 500 words about "why I wish to join the Study Abroad Programme." :sigh: My life can be so difficult at times ;)
Header 2: Dear God, I Have All This News
So in the weeks since I went on hiatus, I've been collecting news articles like a bandit. This is mostly because some really interesting news has cropped up that I wish to comment on, and even though I'm going to be recording a demo show (for U of W, don't ya know) using most of these articles, I feel I should point them out for you, my wonderful readers. So here we go:
Blur announce that they're planning US and European dates for some time in the future. While I'm not exactly "for" this whole Blur reuniting thing, if they do come to the US, I will pay exorbitant amounts of money to see them. I'm hypocritical and crazy like that.
Americans will actually get to see the Doctor Who specials before they become redundant. BBC America has finally gotten the rights to DW, which means I'll actually get to rewatch the already aired specials, and probably see the unaired ones too, before I'm fifty, which is really good. I'm also very excited about new Torchwood and all of this being aired around the same time. My brain may explode, but it will be from dorky happiness instead of sad insanity.
In another piece of Blur related news, the band will be coming out with a Blur primer for the uninitiated. I'm pretty sure I could download most, if not all, of the tracks mentioned from Zune from their original albums and have the same experience as buying the compilation. Still, it's a nice way for the timid to get to know the band while also potentially earning the band a nice chunk of change. Yay capitalism.
For some inexplicable reason, the tabloids thought that the Kaiser Chiefs were being dropped by their label. This is not true, obviously. I'm fairly certain t'Chiefs are the biggest name on the B-Unique label and dropping them would be more than idiotic. However I am very pleased to hear that Whitey is going to be a dad. I don't know why that makes me happy, but it does.
I'm not really into video games. I don't have the right kind of coordination for it. However, I love Guitar Hero and Rock Band, so we all know that I'm going to want the latest version of Guitar Hero. And not just because it has The Arctic Monkeys, Blur, Muse, Kaiser Chiefs, the Killers, and David Bowie. No I want it because it has Coldplay ;D
Speaking of the Arctic Monkeys, they're going to be releasing an album soonish. In fact it's going to be released on the second day of school (also known as August 25th.) I'm very pleased, to say the least, since it's been a really long f-ing time since they released an album and I miss being able to mercilessly mock them for being obvious award bait. That's all I can say about that really. Though I hope Sean "Puffy, whatever the hell his latest nickname is" Combs doesn't have any actual involvement. There have been rumours ya know.
Finally, the Cribs will eventually be releasing an album, in my estimation this winter, based on how long it's taken them to record the damn thing, and Ashes to Ashes has been renewed for another series/season which makes me very happy since I never want it to end.
Header 3: All the Strange Things I've Watched in the Past Month
Since I've had way too much free time on my hands since coming home from school (way, waaaaaay too much free time) I've taken it upon myself to watch some movies/shows that I feel I need to see before I die. Hence why I've watched all of Life on Mars and Logan's Run. By the way, if you've ever thought "hey, Michael York was pretty good in that Three Musketeers movie, I should watch Logan's Run", don't. It's awful and an hour too long. However it's so incredibly bad that it's good in a weird way. But still an hour too long.
Another one of the movies I've watched recently is The Shining. My dad is a huge fan of Stanley Kubrick and so I kind of automatically assumed he would love The Shining. Not so much. Mum likes and Sophs hasn't actually seen it all the way through, which I found to be kind of odd since she's the cinephile of the family. I really liked the film though, mostly because it's allowed me to introduce a new strange mannerism into my conversations: Tony (aka Danny's imaginary friend). Of all the strange and wonderfully over used imagery The Shining has given the world, I'm really surprised no one has picked up on Tony. I think that was my favourite part of the entire movie. I'm just sad I already knew all the twists and scary bits (thanks pop culture) and none of it phased me really. Except Tony. Tony was great :D
So that's it. Set lists for Cake and the White Rabbits will be up as soon as I've figured out all the song titles.
1.6.09
This Is Not a Come Back
This is just the desperate need to rant like a mofo.
This is a very long story. It starts with my mum's near mental break down last fall and her going back into therapy. Actually, it started well before then, but the less time I have to cover the better. Anyway, after my mum started seeing a shrink again something rather important came to light: My grandmother probably irreparably fucked my mum up by being a narcissist. Now I'm not saying this lightly or in any kind of jest. My grandmother's a narcissist and being the child of a narcissist does some pretty fucked up shit to your psyche. You can become a narcissist or, like my mum, constantly need to please everyone and be perfect. Obviously there are other ways to deal with your mother being a narcissist, but that was how my mum dealt with it and why she nearly had a mental breakdown last fall. However by discovering and working through the issues that arise from discovering that your mother is a narcissist, my mum also figured out something I've known for 3 years or so: my dad's a completely needy self-centred ass. He's not a narcissist, but pretty damn close. He's also a hypocrite but that has less to do with being a needy self-centred ass and more do with his parents and having socialists sympathies while also being a really good corporate lawyer (yeah, he's just even more fucked up than my mum and that's not easy to be.)
Because dad's a needy self-centred bastard and mum is trying to be her own person, there's been a shitload of tension in the house recently. Now I've had my issues with dad for quite awhile, but I've been completely alone in my beliefs that he's a hypocritical needy ass. On the other hand Sophs (the sister who's dad's favourite) thinks mum (now that she's "seen the light") and I are just complete bitches who don't understand dad and need to get off our high horses (or at least that's the vibe I'm getting.) Now I've seen a divide in this house since, well for as long as I've known that my dad's just a complete ass. There are those of us who express our emotions and opinions (me and mum) and those of us who bottle it up and then go all ragey-mcrage when it gets to be too much (dad and Sophs.) [Apologies for the random linkage, I had a drink and I really can't hold my liquor] However I might have exasperated that divide tonight by basically saying that Sophs was on dad's side and against mum, to Sophs. Granted I was pushed by Sophs into saying that after she said some shit about getting out of this house, but I regret having opened my mouth anyway. It just makes things more complicated than necessary and they're already complicated enough as it is. However I'll be working through all this starting next week with a psychologist (actually just a social worker, but that's good enough given the circs) other than Farber (the creepy, creepy old man*.) I might also get to work out my pent up issues with the buttmuncher (otherwise known as the ex) which I'm happy for. The long and short of all this is as follows: Narcissism fucks with everything and Nora from A Doll's House is in no way a narcissist. A real narcissist would never have married someone like Torvald. 0_o
:sigh: Hopefully The IT Crowd will come tomorrow and I can spend all day just watching that. Or something.
*When I was still dating the buttmuncher, mum saw Farber at the pysch office and told him that I had a boyfriend. He was extremely pleased because he thought I was using him as some sort of replacement for a real boyfriend. I've been creeped out ever since I can't see him any more. Unfortunately my new therapist works at the same place Farber does, so there's a pretty good chance I'll see him. And crush his ego. But when I tried to talk to him last summer about my dad issues he blew them off and kept pushing me to get a boyfriend. And we all know how well that worked out. So he'll just have to deal.
This is a very long story. It starts with my mum's near mental break down last fall and her going back into therapy. Actually, it started well before then, but the less time I have to cover the better. Anyway, after my mum started seeing a shrink again something rather important came to light: My grandmother probably irreparably fucked my mum up by being a narcissist. Now I'm not saying this lightly or in any kind of jest. My grandmother's a narcissist and being the child of a narcissist does some pretty fucked up shit to your psyche. You can become a narcissist or, like my mum, constantly need to please everyone and be perfect. Obviously there are other ways to deal with your mother being a narcissist, but that was how my mum dealt with it and why she nearly had a mental breakdown last fall. However by discovering and working through the issues that arise from discovering that your mother is a narcissist, my mum also figured out something I've known for 3 years or so: my dad's a completely needy self-centred ass. He's not a narcissist, but pretty damn close. He's also a hypocrite but that has less to do with being a needy self-centred ass and more do with his parents and having socialists sympathies while also being a really good corporate lawyer (yeah, he's just even more fucked up than my mum and that's not easy to be.)
Because dad's a needy self-centred bastard and mum is trying to be her own person, there's been a shitload of tension in the house recently. Now I've had my issues with dad for quite awhile, but I've been completely alone in my beliefs that he's a hypocritical needy ass. On the other hand Sophs (the sister who's dad's favourite) thinks mum (now that she's "seen the light") and I are just complete bitches who don't understand dad and need to get off our high horses (or at least that's the vibe I'm getting.) Now I've seen a divide in this house since, well for as long as I've known that my dad's just a complete ass. There are those of us who express our emotions and opinions (me and mum) and those of us who bottle it up and then go all ragey-mcrage when it gets to be too much (dad and Sophs.) [Apologies for the random linkage, I had a drink and I really can't hold my liquor] However I might have exasperated that divide tonight by basically saying that Sophs was on dad's side and against mum, to Sophs. Granted I was pushed by Sophs into saying that after she said some shit about getting out of this house, but I regret having opened my mouth anyway. It just makes things more complicated than necessary and they're already complicated enough as it is. However I'll be working through all this starting next week with a psychologist (actually just a social worker, but that's good enough given the circs) other than Farber (the creepy, creepy old man*.) I might also get to work out my pent up issues with the buttmuncher (otherwise known as the ex) which I'm happy for. The long and short of all this is as follows: Narcissism fucks with everything and Nora from A Doll's House is in no way a narcissist. A real narcissist would never have married someone like Torvald. 0_o
:sigh: Hopefully The IT Crowd will come tomorrow and I can spend all day just watching that. Or something.
*When I was still dating the buttmuncher, mum saw Farber at the pysch office and told him that I had a boyfriend. He was extremely pleased because he thought I was using him as some sort of replacement for a real boyfriend. I've been creeped out ever since I can't see him any more. Unfortunately my new therapist works at the same place Farber does, so there's a pretty good chance I'll see him. And crush his ego. But when I tried to talk to him last summer about my dad issues he blew them off and kept pushing me to get a boyfriend. And we all know how well that worked out. So he'll just have to deal.
16.5.09
Self-Imposed Exile
I think I'm going to pull a Garbo and so will be disappearing from both blogs, Twitter, and Facebook for a period of time. Not that I've been updating any of those things very often, but Facebook in particular has me agitated and I really don't have anything to say. So with that I'll leave you lot with a bunch of links that I've been meaning to post. No snarky commenting though.
- Dollhouse renewed for the win!
- An interview with Kathy Foster of the Thermals that contains the best description of the Cribs known to man:
They’re from Wakefield, which is outside of Leeds...It’s three brothers plus Johnny Marr. The guys that sing and play guitar and bass are twins, and then the younger brother plays drums. They’re getting really big in the UK...People just go crazy for them...singing every word and pointing at them.
- Kate Nash goes to LA to pick a producer. Whilst there she also plans on making up for lost time with BF Ryan, which I don't begrudge her at all*.
- The BBC Trust checks to make sure BBC Radio 2 and 6Music are just really pointless.
13.5.09
Updates from Purgatory
So I've been a neglectful blogger. I haven't updated in two weeks and my last entry was not really an entry. Needless to say I owe this blog an update. Thing is I'm finding it hard to write about anything. I've done jack shit in the past two weeks other than take exams and watch British crime procedurals/sci-fi shows (more on that in a moment.) My family continues to be more crazy than I thought possible and Facebook continues to annoy me with it's continual need to remind me that certain people exist. I look at my front page and question why certain people are on there, why I continue to be friends with them when all they do is annoy me. Eventually I'll stop being lazy and get rid of those people from my friend list, but not any time soon. I'm far too lazy.
So British crime procedurals/sci-fi shows. In the past week I've watched both series of Life on Mars (which by the way was awesome) and I'm almost update with Ashes to Ashes. They are both amazing and I've listened to more David Bowie in the past week than I ever would have thanks to those shows. So yeah, I'm quite pleased about that. I mean I'm spending most of every day in my room, but for my sanity that's probably better. Onwards and upwards to my family.
Oh my family. They're all a bunch wack jobs. Every time I come home I re-realize all over again how mentally fucked up they are and every time I have to remind myself to act like a civil person and scream every time they open their mouths. And so I spend as much time as I legitimately can away from them because if I don't by the end of the summer I will lose my mind.
Now more important things. I don't have the GPA (if we're going by the letter) to study abroad at University of Westminster. I've sent a plea to international academic service people seeing if there's anything I can do to still go there, but I'm currently look at other programs. I'm looking in Wales for god sake (no offence to any Welsh readers. You're all really lovely.) I haven't given up on studying abroad, I'm just slowly giving up on studying at the University of Westminster. Which makes me sad and waiting for IAS to respond my email is making me more than a bit anxious, but this is what happens when you fuck up. And I'll be the first to admit that I fucked up. But I know I have back ups and I can make excellent pleas on my behalf. It just makes me sad and disappointed in myself. I could go on, but that's just boring and you all know how much I hate being boring.
All right well that's about it for me. Umm, I don't know when I'll be updating, probably when I hear from either IAS, WETA, or WAMU (yay volunteer positions!). Until then.
So British crime procedurals/sci-fi shows. In the past week I've watched both series of Life on Mars (which by the way was awesome) and I'm almost update with Ashes to Ashes. They are both amazing and I've listened to more David Bowie in the past week than I ever would have thanks to those shows. So yeah, I'm quite pleased about that. I mean I'm spending most of every day in my room, but for my sanity that's probably better. Onwards and upwards to my family.
Oh my family. They're all a bunch wack jobs. Every time I come home I re-realize all over again how mentally fucked up they are and every time I have to remind myself to act like a civil person and scream every time they open their mouths. And so I spend as much time as I legitimately can away from them because if I don't by the end of the summer I will lose my mind.
Now more important things. I don't have the GPA (if we're going by the letter) to study abroad at University of Westminster. I've sent a plea to international academic service people seeing if there's anything I can do to still go there, but I'm currently look at other programs. I'm looking in Wales for god sake (no offence to any Welsh readers. You're all really lovely.) I haven't given up on studying abroad, I'm just slowly giving up on studying at the University of Westminster. Which makes me sad and waiting for IAS to respond my email is making me more than a bit anxious, but this is what happens when you fuck up. And I'll be the first to admit that I fucked up. But I know I have back ups and I can make excellent pleas on my behalf. It just makes me sad and disappointed in myself. I could go on, but that's just boring and you all know how much I hate being boring.
All right well that's about it for me. Umm, I don't know when I'll be updating, probably when I hear from either IAS, WETA, or WAMU (yay volunteer positions!). Until then.
30.4.09
Really Random 10 Questions
1. Do you believe in good and/or bad luck?
I do believe in both good and bad luck. I also believe in karma and fate, which good and bad luck play into.
2. Do you believe there is one man/woman luckier than all the rest?
No. Just people who are luckier than me at the moment.
3. When was the last time you considered yourself lucky?
Not for many moons. Over two months in fact.
4. What is the most unlucky thing to ever happen to you?
Christ I don't know. I don't think there's a single unlucky thing/event that happened to me, more like a string of rather unlucky years.
5. Where do you think luck (good or bad) comes from?
Karma and fate. Mostly karma though.
1. If you could give out Best Picture, Best Actor/Actress and Best Director Oscars to any movies (not necessarily all from the same year) to people/films that haven't won, what would they be?
I would give Cary Grant and Fred Astaire best Actors for most of their movies, cuz they totally deserve them. Otherwise I've not got an opinion really.
2. What is your favorite genre of writing (short stories, novels, nonfiction...)?
I like Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett and nonfiction about British history and pop music history.
3. Are there any CDs to which you know every word? Movies?
Employment, Yours Truly, Angry Mob, Franz Ferdinand, You Could Have It So Much, Under the Iron Sea...I could go on really, but I won't. As for movies, no. Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes, yes.
4. If you could write and cast your own movie, what would it be about and who would you cast?
I don't know what it would be about but I would cast Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Emma Thompson and Johnny Depp. And Jo Brand for no particular reason. Also Bill Bailey and Phil Jupitus, and all their scenes would be together. Yeah, that would be a really strange movie.
5. What's the best song to wake you up? Put you to sleep?
Best song to wake me up would be..."Darts of Pleasure" or "Na Na Na Na Na." Or Lily Allen's cover of "Oh My God" or "Never Gonna Happen." However music doesn't really put me to sleep, so I don't know.
I do believe in both good and bad luck. I also believe in karma and fate, which good and bad luck play into.
2. Do you believe there is one man/woman luckier than all the rest?
No. Just people who are luckier than me at the moment.
3. When was the last time you considered yourself lucky?
Not for many moons. Over two months in fact.
4. What is the most unlucky thing to ever happen to you?
Christ I don't know. I don't think there's a single unlucky thing/event that happened to me, more like a string of rather unlucky years.
5. Where do you think luck (good or bad) comes from?
Karma and fate. Mostly karma though.
1. If you could give out Best Picture, Best Actor/Actress and Best Director Oscars to any movies (not necessarily all from the same year) to people/films that haven't won, what would they be?
I would give Cary Grant and Fred Astaire best Actors for most of their movies, cuz they totally deserve them. Otherwise I've not got an opinion really.
2. What is your favorite genre of writing (short stories, novels, nonfiction...)?
I like Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett and nonfiction about British history and pop music history.
3. Are there any CDs to which you know every word? Movies?
Employment, Yours Truly, Angry Mob, Franz Ferdinand, You Could Have It So Much, Under the Iron Sea...I could go on really, but I won't. As for movies, no. Never Mind the Buzzcocks episodes, yes.
4. If you could write and cast your own movie, what would it be about and who would you cast?
I don't know what it would be about but I would cast Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Emma Thompson and Johnny Depp. And Jo Brand for no particular reason. Also Bill Bailey and Phil Jupitus, and all their scenes would be together. Yeah, that would be a really strange movie.
5. What's the best song to wake you up? Put you to sleep?
Best song to wake me up would be..."Darts of Pleasure" or "Na Na Na Na Na." Or Lily Allen's cover of "Oh My God" or "Never Gonna Happen." However music doesn't really put me to sleep, so I don't know.
27.4.09
Decision Time
I've decided, for no particular reason other than that I have, that the man I end up with for keeps (ie get married to) will be a very strange amalgamation of the men I watch on the tellie/computer screen and the men I listen to. Which is why I doubt I'll ever marry an American :knocks on wood: because you can't be a strange amalgamation of x number of British men if you're American. I just doesn't work. Anyway that's what I've decided. I should get back to studying now. I won't, but I should.
Edit: I should add I've also decided that the future hubbie will be older than me. Even if it's just a couple of years, he'll be older than me. Now back to QI where I will continue to feed my older-man crush.
Edit: I should add I've also decided that the future hubbie will be older than me. Even if it's just a couple of years, he'll be older than me. Now back to QI where I will continue to feed my older-man crush.
25.4.09
I Feel Fine, Think I'll Go For a Walk Now
For anyone worrying, I'm fine. Stressed to the extreme, but no longer losing my faith in humanity. I'm also no longer furious with the world, just mildly irritated. As for those of you on LJ who have commented on recent entries, I know I haven't replied, but that's because I'm just a horrible person who finds communication to be very awkward, no matter the format. So, thank you to all of you for your words of support and advice. As I often say, I'm really just a horrible person. I'm surprised no one has figured this out yet, so I'll just keep saying it: I'm a horrible person.
What's stressing me right now is the lack of studying I require as compared to nearly everyone I know. It's stressing me because this sort of thing always stresses me. Not being normal in certain arenas stresses me and so we have Nore stressing about not studying. Of course I'm also stressing about exams and packing which is normal and then of course we have grades. I'm feeling more pyscho this year than I did last year, but then again I also don't have a pyscho as a roommate, so there's kind of a trade off. I'm torturing myself instead of someone else torturing, though I'm not sure which is worse. :sigh: I really do hate the end of the year.
What's stressing me right now is the lack of studying I require as compared to nearly everyone I know. It's stressing me because this sort of thing always stresses me. Not being normal in certain arenas stresses me and so we have Nore stressing about not studying. Of course I'm also stressing about exams and packing which is normal and then of course we have grades. I'm feeling more pyscho this year than I did last year, but then again I also don't have a pyscho as a roommate, so there's kind of a trade off. I'm torturing myself instead of someone else torturing, though I'm not sure which is worse. :sigh: I really do hate the end of the year.
22.4.09
Feeling of the Moment
I just want to get this off my chest: I currently hate almost the everyone. I'm including the entire world in this definition, which might seem a bit ridiculous, but take into account that it's festival season (and has been for quite awhile) and you've got at least a 1/16th (wild guesstimate) of the world with whom I'm at least very annoyed with. Then take into account the number of people I know who know the ex and that's another very small percentage of people who may cause annoyance (damn you Facebook, damn you to hell.) Then of course we add in all couples on campus and we've got yet another small percentage that irk me. Put all of those small percentages together we've got about, I dunno, another rather small but significant percentage of people who I hate right now. I blame stress and my subconscious (more on that in a bit). Still, there's a great number you people who I hate right now and I just needed to write it down. I also blame my sprained ankle. It only adds fire to my anger. Still one my persevere despite one's own inner turmoil.
Last night I had a dream where I got to yell and scream and smack the ex. Oddly enough another friend was there facilitating this whole thing, except he seemed to be on the ex's side, but it didn't really matter. The fact that I'm dreaming about him disturbs me to no end, but then Facebook (damn it's non-existent eyes) had to keep showing this photo of him with his slag. 'Course the only reason I knew it was him was because I clicked the damn thing. And this stupid sprained ankle thing makes me feel like an awkward idiot. Everything just seems to be going wrong and I can't stop it. I need something good to happen to me or I might just lose all my faith in life.
Last night I had a dream where I got to yell and scream and smack the ex. Oddly enough another friend was there facilitating this whole thing, except he seemed to be on the ex's side, but it didn't really matter. The fact that I'm dreaming about him disturbs me to no end, but then Facebook (damn it's non-existent eyes) had to keep showing this photo of him with his slag. 'Course the only reason I knew it was him was because I clicked the damn thing. And this stupid sprained ankle thing makes me feel like an awkward idiot. Everything just seems to be going wrong and I can't stop it. I need something good to happen to me or I might just lose all my faith in life.
21.4.09
Zero
I'm so in love with this song, so I'm going to post the lyrics. Also, just as a side note, the way Karen O sings sometimes reminds me of things I don't talk about in my blog :cough:sex:cough:
"Zero" --- Yeah Yeah Yeahs, It's Blitz
Shake it like a ladder to the sun
Makes me feel like a madman on the run
Find me, never, never far gone
So get your leather, leather, leather on, on, on, on
Your zero
What's your name?
No one's going to ask you
Better find out where they want you to go
Try and hit the spot
Get to know it in the dark
Get to know it whether you're
Crying, crying, crying, oh, oh
Can you climb, climb, climb higher?
Shake it like a ladder to the sun
Makes me feel like a madman on the run
No you're never, never far gone
So get your leather, leather, leather on, on, on, on
Your zero
What's your name?
No one's going to ask you
Better find out where they want you to go
Try and hit the spot
Get to know it in the dark
Get to know it whether you're
Crying, crying, crying, oh, oh
Can you climb, climb, climb higher?
Was it the cure?
Shellshock!
Was it the cure?
Hope not!
Was it the cure?
Shellshock!
Was it the cure?
What's your name?
Your zero
What's your name?
No one's going to ask you
Better find out where they want you to go
Try and hit the spot
Get to know it in the dark
Get to know it whether you're
Crying, crying, crying, oh, oh
Can you climb, climb, climb higher?
Was it the cure?
Shellshock!
Was it the cure?
Hope not!
Was it the cure?
Shellshock!
Was it the cure?
Hope not!
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
"Zero" --- Yeah Yeah Yeahs, It's Blitz
Shake it like a ladder to the sun
Makes me feel like a madman on the run
Find me, never, never far gone
So get your leather, leather, leather on, on, on, on
Your zero
What's your name?
No one's going to ask you
Better find out where they want you to go
Try and hit the spot
Get to know it in the dark
Get to know it whether you're
Crying, crying, crying, oh, oh
Can you climb, climb, climb higher?
Shake it like a ladder to the sun
Makes me feel like a madman on the run
No you're never, never far gone
So get your leather, leather, leather on, on, on, on
Your zero
What's your name?
No one's going to ask you
Better find out where they want you to go
Try and hit the spot
Get to know it in the dark
Get to know it whether you're
Crying, crying, crying, oh, oh
Can you climb, climb, climb higher?
Was it the cure?
Shellshock!
Was it the cure?
Hope not!
Was it the cure?
Shellshock!
Was it the cure?
What's your name?
Your zero
What's your name?
No one's going to ask you
Better find out where they want you to go
Try and hit the spot
Get to know it in the dark
Get to know it whether you're
Crying, crying, crying, oh, oh
Can you climb, climb, climb higher?
Was it the cure?
Shellshock!
Was it the cure?
Hope not!
Was it the cure?
Shellshock!
Was it the cure?
Hope not!
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
What's your name?
19.4.09
Life Imitates Life
I'm in a goodly amount of pain right now. You see I twisted my ankle and well, that hurts I'm discovering. I can't really bend my ankle in any way. The only reason I'm writing about this is because, while I was on stage (which is where I twisted my ankle) I had an almost identical reaction to the idea of fainting that I did the last time I fainted. Namely, when I started feeling very flush and the lights suddenly got very bright my brain told, "We will persevere through this, and we will not collapse dammit." Of course it didn't help that I was in the middle of singing the premier of an original composition by a) the head of the department and b) my theory prof (same person, two roles.) And just like last time, I fainted. Of course last time I didn't do something horrible to my ankle, but it's amusing in a macabre way. Now I have to finish this damn research paper or I'll be royally screwed. Also I would just like to end this entry with following piece of information: I lieu of an ACE bandage, I'm currently using a pair of panty hose. Hurrah ingenuity.
Edit: First I realize that the title of this entry doesn't make sense unless you're in my head, so I will explain: My favourite lead singer had a habit of breaking one of his ankles every year. He hasn't done it recently, but when I realized that I had sprained my ankle, it was like "Ha, I did a slightly less debilitating version of what he's done in the past." Hence (my) life imitating (R's) life.
Today however was quite amusing. A friend of mine, Sam, was in the balcony for the performance and for some reason thought my fainting was some creative/artistic choice made by Dr. Long, ruined by my horrible acting. I laughed really hard and then got to tell my story to my entire theory class. I suspect I'm going to be explaining my hobbling around for another couple of days before the whole music department knows and therefore I don't have to explain it anymore. Still, I'm all stiff upper lip and carrying on like always. 'Cuz I'm secretly British.
Edit: First I realize that the title of this entry doesn't make sense unless you're in my head, so I will explain: My favourite lead singer had a habit of breaking one of his ankles every year. He hasn't done it recently, but when I realized that I had sprained my ankle, it was like "Ha, I did a slightly less debilitating version of what he's done in the past." Hence (my) life imitating (R's) life.
Today however was quite amusing. A friend of mine, Sam, was in the balcony for the performance and for some reason thought my fainting was some creative/artistic choice made by Dr. Long, ruined by my horrible acting. I laughed really hard and then got to tell my story to my entire theory class. I suspect I'm going to be explaining my hobbling around for another couple of days before the whole music department knows and therefore I don't have to explain it anymore. Still, I'm all stiff upper lip and carrying on like always. 'Cuz I'm secretly British.
17.4.09
Happiness Is
This is just a short observation that I wanted to write down before I lost it: There are three things in this world that make me truly happy
- Truly great music
- Great TV (I just finished watching a new episode of Bones with Stephen Fry, which is why I'm writing this in the first place)
- A great book (both fiction and non-fiction)
12.4.09
Sad Songs and Waltzes
I'm stressed. And I'm worried. For the first time this year I'm purposefully blowing off an assignment because I just can't handle doing it right now. I don't think I'm going to just not do it, I'm just not doing it tonight. And that worries me because I haven't done that this year and since entering college I've generally tried to avoid that kind of behaviour. It was a behaviour I left behind in high school, or at least a behaviour I tried to leave behind in high school. But this project is 1/7 of my grade and I'm not incapable of doing it. Which is why I'm stressing. This semester has to go well for me and thus far my general feeling is that it's not. I know I'm not doing particularly well in Classics, I have a good chance of pulling my grade up to a B in Asian Civ, absolutely no clue in music history (thanks for getting those papers back Roach) and so-so in Theory. I need all of these classes to be Bs. It might not be possible in Classics, unless I do fabulously on the final and actually turn in the paper for Troy and there's a very good chance of getting a B in Asian Civ. I could be doing a lot better in music history than I currently think I am, but since I haven't gotten any of my papers back I can't be sure. Which gets us back to theory. I did really well on the first test and so-so on the second test. Past analysis and comp projects lead me to believe that I'll do fairly well on the comp project, as long as I don't get myself to far into something crazy, and I'd do well on the analysis project if I was turning it in on time. But I'm not. And so I stress. Until this project is turned in, I won't be calm. Quite frankly, until I know that I have a 3.0, I won't be calm. I'll be worried and stressed. None of which is conducive to doing well. It's a vicious little circle I live in. A vicious never ending circle.
Easter
Since Easter '07, this holiday has been a bit strange for me. Before 2007, Easter was just another holiday were I went to church, suffered through incense and listened to really good music. It didn't mean that much because I'm not a particulary religious person. That's still true, but now the holiday has two meanings for me, which is why it's a strange day for me.
Two years ago I became obsessed with Doctor Who. Since the new series started, the first episode of each series has traditionally been aired around the same time as Easter (except last year because Easter was so ridiculously early.) At the same time I was started getting obsessed with DW, I was full on obsessed with the Kaiser Chiefs. 2007 saw the end of that full on obsession (though I'm sure some would beg to differ). Within a week of each other, I watched my first "as it airs" episode of DW, saw my fangirl dreams come crashing to a fiery end, and celebrated Easter. It was all a bit traumatic (you try singing an 11:15 service after staying up until 3 in the morning, most of which was spent screaming) and sticks all together in my mind as one big blob. Kaiser Chiefs/Easter/Martha (first epi of the 3rd series don't ya know). And that's was the beginning of the duplicity (in meaning) of Easter.
Last year was unremarkable though. Easter came very early and while I'm sure I went home, I don't really remember what I did. Other than suffering through incense, but that's a given. Doctor Who started up a week later, but didn't even get a mention in either of my blogs. But I do remember the time difference being a big jarring because I just assumed the two (Easter and DW) went hand in hand.
This year's DW Easter episode didn't mark the beginning of a new series, but acted more as a reminder that Tennant's era is swiftly coming to an end. And in much the same, this year's celebration is acting as stark reminder that my sophomore year is swiftly coming to an end as well. It's a bit odd though, a holiday that's meant to be seen as a renewal of the year, even in it's original form, acts more as a reminder of endings for me.
So I've lost the thread of this entry (stupid Easter dinner/train back to school). In essence, what I'm trying to say is that Easter isn't an exactly religious holiday for me, it's more a day when I get new DW. Because I'm going to burn in hell. :sigh:
Proper entry in 30 minutes.
Two years ago I became obsessed with Doctor Who. Since the new series started, the first episode of each series has traditionally been aired around the same time as Easter (except last year because Easter was so ridiculously early.) At the same time I was started getting obsessed with DW, I was full on obsessed with the Kaiser Chiefs. 2007 saw the end of that full on obsession (though I'm sure some would beg to differ). Within a week of each other, I watched my first "as it airs" episode of DW, saw my fangirl dreams come crashing to a fiery end, and celebrated Easter. It was all a bit traumatic (you try singing an 11:15 service after staying up until 3 in the morning, most of which was spent screaming) and sticks all together in my mind as one big blob. Kaiser Chiefs/Easter/Martha (first epi of the 3rd series don't ya know). And that's was the beginning of the duplicity (in meaning) of Easter.
Last year was unremarkable though. Easter came very early and while I'm sure I went home, I don't really remember what I did. Other than suffering through incense, but that's a given. Doctor Who started up a week later, but didn't even get a mention in either of my blogs. But I do remember the time difference being a big jarring because I just assumed the two (Easter and DW) went hand in hand.
This year's DW Easter episode didn't mark the beginning of a new series, but acted more as a reminder that Tennant's era is swiftly coming to an end. And in much the same, this year's celebration is acting as stark reminder that my sophomore year is swiftly coming to an end as well. It's a bit odd though, a holiday that's meant to be seen as a renewal of the year, even in it's original form, acts more as a reminder of endings for me.
So I've lost the thread of this entry (stupid Easter dinner/train back to school). In essence, what I'm trying to say is that Easter isn't an exactly religious holiday for me, it's more a day when I get new DW. Because I'm going to burn in hell. :sigh:
Proper entry in 30 minutes.
6.4.09
More Stuff/Different Stuff
So I "realized" this morning that yesterday's insanity was due to a distinct lack of any meds. I realized this when I got this eerie feeling when I was about to take my pills this morning that I hadn't looked in my medicine draw since Saturday. And this was confirmed by my birth control pill packet. I spent most of this morning feeling slightly woozy because I hadn't taken an iron supplement since Saturday and so my iron was low. Fun times.
I had a music history test today and it was crap. I don't think it will be as bad as my last test, but it was still crap. So much bs, it smelled. I would blame the teacher, because she's very blameworthy, but just because she's shite doesn't mean I shouldn't try a little harder in this class. It would be an easy A if I tried. Sadly, not even London is enough motivation to make me give a shit about this class. :sigh:
Today I found out that the general manager of the radio station knows my name. It was really strange because I just sort of assumed that she had no idea who I was, other than someone who goes to all the meetings and regularly does her show. She even wanted to know if I was interested in being an officer. It was truly odd. I my mind I'm seen as wallpaper to most people and so it's always bizarre to find out that I'm not. Anyway, the GM knows my name. Weird stuff.
By the way, if you're interested my radio show is on Wednesdays, 9-10pm EDT on wmwc.umw.edu. It's good times and general insanity. So yeah, there you have it.
I had a music history test today and it was crap. I don't think it will be as bad as my last test, but it was still crap. So much bs, it smelled. I would blame the teacher, because she's very blameworthy, but just because she's shite doesn't mean I shouldn't try a little harder in this class. It would be an easy A if I tried. Sadly, not even London is enough motivation to make me give a shit about this class. :sigh:
Today I found out that the general manager of the radio station knows my name. It was really strange because I just sort of assumed that she had no idea who I was, other than someone who goes to all the meetings and regularly does her show. She even wanted to know if I was interested in being an officer. It was truly odd. I my mind I'm seen as wallpaper to most people and so it's always bizarre to find out that I'm not. Anyway, the GM knows my name. Weird stuff.
By the way, if you're interested my radio show is on Wednesdays, 9-10pm EDT on wmwc.umw.edu. It's good times and general insanity. So yeah, there you have it.
5.4.09
Closure and Hyperness
I'm so fraking hyper right now, it's almost not funny. And I've been almost this hyper all day. It's insane. But yeah, here are some lyrics. It would seem that I've reached some semblance of closure, all without the ex's help (big shock there.) So here are lyrics :D
"Merry Happy" --- Kate Nash, Made of Bricks (the other italicized bits are the important bits...everything else is just nice)
Watching me like you never watch no one
Don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum
Cause I know that you did
Cause your friend told me that you liked it
Gave me those pearls and I thought they were ugly
Though you try to tell me that you never loved me
I know that you did
'Cause you said it and you wrote it down
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around
So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
So I learnt form you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
Sitting in restaurants
Thought we were so grown up
But I know now that we were not the people
That we turned out to be
Chatting on the phone
Can't take back those hours
But I won't regret
'Cause you can grow flowers
From where dirt used to be
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around
So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)
"Merry Happy" --- Kate Nash, Made of Bricks (the other italicized bits are the important bits...everything else is just nice)
Watching me like you never watch no one
Don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum
Cause I know that you did
Cause your friend told me that you liked it
Gave me those pearls and I thought they were ugly
Though you try to tell me that you never loved me
I know that you did
'Cause you said it and you wrote it down
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around
So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
So I learnt form you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
Sitting in restaurants
Thought we were so grown up
But I know now that we were not the people
That we turned out to be
Chatting on the phone
Can't take back those hours
But I won't regret
'Cause you can grow flowers
From where dirt used to be
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around
Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around
So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
So I learnt from you
Do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own
(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)
1.4.09
Business Update
Here's whats been going on for the past four-ish days.
Saturday
Most of Saturday was spent whiling away the time until later that night. I really didn't do anything at all, though I must say Dollhouse is an amazing show and it's the first time I've seen a Whedon production during its original run-time. Saturday night however I went to see my school's production of The Vagina Monologues which was absolutely amazing. I was really impressed with the whole thing and would highly recommend everyone who reads this blog going to see it next year. Obviously not at my school, unless you're someone who is at my school and is reading this. In which case 1) why are you reading this and 2) go see The Vagina Monologues next year.
Sunday
Sunday was more boring than Saturday, mostly because I spent three hours all by myself in the media lab. At least I was getting paid, but seriously, no one showed up. I continued to be really tired, which was a theme that started on Saturday, but seemed more prevalent on Sunday because I actually tried to sleep on the couch we have in the media lab. I would not suggest anyone else doing that, it is very uncomfortable.
Monday
I thought about skipping classics because we're just watching Troy and I could watch that on my own time when I was more awake. Decided against doing that because I found out that my music history class was cancelled and so I went to watch Troy. It was more ridiculous than I remembered it being, but sometimes it's fun to watch ridiculous things. I also battled my way through registration. That was not fun and made my exhaustion all the more prevalent. So after work on Monday I took a nap and slept through the radio station meeting. I only feel a little bad about this since I've been to every single one of those damn meetings this semester and I'm sure we'll have another one next week. Monday was also the night of the Ben Folds concert, which I'm still recovering from. The audience was comatose (though there were a few jumpers and rockers like me) and one person on my flist over at Facebook said that the whole thing took too long. I wanted to comment and ask if he'd ever been to a professional rock concert before, but was too tired. The actual concert though was excellent and the openers, Jukebox the Ghost, were really awesome too. As will all Ben Folds shows, I didn't write a setlist, though I suspect I could have this time. Still, the whole thing was mucho fun and I was sad that I couldn't stay the whole time. Damn you early classes!
Tuesday
Yesterday I ended up being a good little student and not only did band set-up in record time, I also went to my Asian Civ. class. Had skills, then band. In band we finally met the soloist who is performing with us on Friday and damn. He's a saxophonist and his fingers move so fucking fast...even jaded Nore was impressed. I was literally leaning over while we were practicing so I could look at his fingers while he was playing. It was amazing. Kind of like Ben Folds. I also had my lesson, which went better than I expected since I had only looked at the piece he had given me last week once. However my exhaustion, both from the night before and in general, was slowly taking over me. I didn't get a nap though which made me sad. I did watch new House, Gossip Girl (OMG Vanessa and Chuck are not cool, nor are Nate and Blair. Chuck and Blair forever!). I also watched new Law and Order: UK which always makes me happy. Then I went to bed.
Wednesday
I took a nap today! And I have my show tonight. I've listened to all of Ida Maria's debut album and deem it good. I've listened to part of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' third album and deem Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Tonight's show, while being prepared at the last minute, should be good. I'm still tired. I could probably sleep forever if I wanted to. I'm seeing Larissa tomorrow, which should be interesting since by now she should have talked to Farber. We'll see. I might update. I've got a six page paper due on Friday and I'm not excited. Or prepared. Nor have I started it. Oh well. We shall see.
Saturday
Most of Saturday was spent whiling away the time until later that night. I really didn't do anything at all, though I must say Dollhouse is an amazing show and it's the first time I've seen a Whedon production during its original run-time. Saturday night however I went to see my school's production of The Vagina Monologues which was absolutely amazing. I was really impressed with the whole thing and would highly recommend everyone who reads this blog going to see it next year. Obviously not at my school, unless you're someone who is at my school and is reading this. In which case 1) why are you reading this and 2) go see The Vagina Monologues next year.
Sunday
Sunday was more boring than Saturday, mostly because I spent three hours all by myself in the media lab. At least I was getting paid, but seriously, no one showed up. I continued to be really tired, which was a theme that started on Saturday, but seemed more prevalent on Sunday because I actually tried to sleep on the couch we have in the media lab. I would not suggest anyone else doing that, it is very uncomfortable.
Monday
I thought about skipping classics because we're just watching Troy and I could watch that on my own time when I was more awake. Decided against doing that because I found out that my music history class was cancelled and so I went to watch Troy. It was more ridiculous than I remembered it being, but sometimes it's fun to watch ridiculous things. I also battled my way through registration. That was not fun and made my exhaustion all the more prevalent. So after work on Monday I took a nap and slept through the radio station meeting. I only feel a little bad about this since I've been to every single one of those damn meetings this semester and I'm sure we'll have another one next week. Monday was also the night of the Ben Folds concert, which I'm still recovering from. The audience was comatose (though there were a few jumpers and rockers like me) and one person on my flist over at Facebook said that the whole thing took too long. I wanted to comment and ask if he'd ever been to a professional rock concert before, but was too tired. The actual concert though was excellent and the openers, Jukebox the Ghost, were really awesome too. As will all Ben Folds shows, I didn't write a setlist, though I suspect I could have this time. Still, the whole thing was mucho fun and I was sad that I couldn't stay the whole time. Damn you early classes!
Tuesday
Yesterday I ended up being a good little student and not only did band set-up in record time, I also went to my Asian Civ. class. Had skills, then band. In band we finally met the soloist who is performing with us on Friday and damn. He's a saxophonist and his fingers move so fucking fast...even jaded Nore was impressed. I was literally leaning over while we were practicing so I could look at his fingers while he was playing. It was amazing. Kind of like Ben Folds. I also had my lesson, which went better than I expected since I had only looked at the piece he had given me last week once. However my exhaustion, both from the night before and in general, was slowly taking over me. I didn't get a nap though which made me sad. I did watch new House, Gossip Girl (OMG Vanessa and Chuck are not cool, nor are Nate and Blair. Chuck and Blair forever!). I also watched new Law and Order: UK which always makes me happy. Then I went to bed.
Wednesday
I took a nap today! And I have my show tonight. I've listened to all of Ida Maria's debut album and deem it good. I've listened to part of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' third album and deem Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Tonight's show, while being prepared at the last minute, should be good. I'm still tired. I could probably sleep forever if I wanted to. I'm seeing Larissa tomorrow, which should be interesting since by now she should have talked to Farber. We'll see. I might update. I've got a six page paper due on Friday and I'm not excited. Or prepared. Nor have I started it. Oh well. We shall see.
27.3.09
A Welcome Feeling
I'm not completely over him. Certain things still hurt, like looking directly at him, but I'm getting close to the place where I'm at with Miles (except not as obsessive): Bitter and sarcastic. With Miles, I haven't really moved past that, but with the ex, I think once I get fully into that mindset, I'll be able to move on this summer (god how sad is it that the "summer" isn't that far away for me.) I didn't cry tonight, partially because his new slag wasn't there, but also because he looked ridiculous. Imagine a hipster, but with a fancy suit tie and flip-flops. Sure he's skinny enough to pull it off, but **Ricky did it so much better. Hell Alex Kapranos could pull that look off with more panache and Alex Kapranos creeps me out most of the time. It was just kind...sad. It also helped that Ana and Heather were being particularly nice to me tonight and encouraging my evil and scathing comebacks to nearly everything he said. And almost everything during the three episodes the club watched tonight. But seeing him dressed like some hipster ass just made something in my head click. Because to me, I'm better than most hipsters and seeing the ex dressed like one, it just clicked. I'm better than him. I'm not controlled by my sex drive* and I'm doing fairly well in my life. I've had some set backs over the past month, but really, I'm in such a much better place than he could ever dream of being in. I guess I'm just glad I could enjoy DW without leaving the meeting close to tears. That was nice as well.
Now I'm sleepy and am going to go to bed. But first I leave you with these lyrics, because lyrics are wonderful.
"Men's Needs" --- The Cribs, Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever
Have you noticed
I've never been impressed
By your friends from New York and London?
I'll level, accusations like the press
til you realise that you've dressed yourself in tatters
Because a man's needs, man's needs
Are found on greed, are found on greed
A man's needs, man's needs
Are lost on me
A man's needs, man's needs
Are found on greed, are found on greed
A man's needs
I'm not bothered, what you say or how you dress
I'm a mess, so you've always seemed inviting
But really, this all seems quite meaningless
And I remember, that you never seem to see
The fact that men's needs, men's needs
Are found on greed, are found on greed
A man's needs, man's needs
Are lost on me
A girl's needs, girl's needs
Just don't agree, just don't agree
With a man's needs
Have you noticed, I've never been impressed
By your friends from New York and London?
But really, this all seems quite meaningless
And I remember that you never seem to see
The excuse that men's needs, men's needs
Are found on greed, are found on greed
A man's needs, man's needs
Apply to me
You say your man's needs, man's needs
Apply to me
I don't agree
A man's needs
Oh-oh! Oh-oh!
*Another thing that helped was seeing an acquaintance of mine's ex (which was news to me) with some girl who is also an acquaintance. It just sort of confirmed in my mind that men really are controlled by their sex drives. I feel bad for the acquaintance, because she's wonderful and the guy she was with seemed like a total ass, but it helped me in a weird way. Mostly though, it just helped to see the ex looking like a twat.
**I just have two things to say about this picture: Ricky looks so ridiculously happy to have his arm around Kylie Minogue. It's so cute. Also, that was almost exactly what the ex had on tonight. Except Ricky looks hotter and far less ridiculous. And a third thing: guuuuuuuhh. That man has such power over me. It's rather sad. :D
Now I'm sleepy and am going to go to bed. But first I leave you with these lyrics, because lyrics are wonderful.
"Men's Needs" --- The Cribs, Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever
Have you noticed
I've never been impressed
By your friends from New York and London?
I'll level, accusations like the press
til you realise that you've dressed yourself in tatters
Because a man's needs, man's needs
Are found on greed, are found on greed
A man's needs, man's needs
Are lost on me
A man's needs, man's needs
Are found on greed, are found on greed
A man's needs
I'm not bothered, what you say or how you dress
I'm a mess, so you've always seemed inviting
But really, this all seems quite meaningless
And I remember, that you never seem to see
The fact that men's needs, men's needs
Are found on greed, are found on greed
A man's needs, man's needs
Are lost on me
A girl's needs, girl's needs
Just don't agree, just don't agree
With a man's needs
Have you noticed, I've never been impressed
By your friends from New York and London?
But really, this all seems quite meaningless
And I remember that you never seem to see
The excuse that men's needs, men's needs
Are found on greed, are found on greed
A man's needs, man's needs
Apply to me
You say your man's needs, man's needs
Apply to me
I don't agree
A man's needs
Oh-oh! Oh-oh!
*Another thing that helped was seeing an acquaintance of mine's ex (which was news to me) with some girl who is also an acquaintance. It just sort of confirmed in my mind that men really are controlled by their sex drives. I feel bad for the acquaintance, because she's wonderful and the guy she was with seemed like a total ass, but it helped me in a weird way. Mostly though, it just helped to see the ex looking like a twat.
**I just have two things to say about this picture: Ricky looks so ridiculously happy to have his arm around Kylie Minogue. It's so cute. Also, that was almost exactly what the ex had on tonight. Except Ricky looks hotter and far less ridiculous. And a third thing: guuuuuuuhh. That man has such power over me. It's rather sad. :D
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