Musicholic

The only thing I think I've ever really loved is music. I was thinking about it last night as I was trying my hardest to fall asleep. I had just finished a book (Girls in Pants) and since a major theme was love, I thought about people I loved. Now I don't mean family. Even when I'm really pissed off at my mums and dad, I still love them. Family love is almost obligitory. No what I mean is the kind of love you read about in books, the kind you see in movies, the kind that couples have. I thought for a long time that I had loved Miles (him being my first boyfriend and all.) I didn't though. I've always been mature for my age, but I wans't mature enough at the time to really love him. I don't think I could ever have really loved him anyway. I had to many issues, to many insecurities to devote myself that way.
Music on the other hand, that I love. Great music (which I've been discovering right and left) makes my chest tight, makes me gush like the giggly fan girl I am at heart. Music will be my first love the whole of my life. I suppose it's because it's the only thing I can connect with, that doesn't expect anything from me. No social rules are involved in music. Music was the first thing I understood, before my family, before the people around me. I guess thats why I love.
God I can't say anymore. I won't be able to update this week. I've got band and then I'm going to Chicago (the spring band trip) so I'm sorry. Listen to the Zutons. They're sax players is the best.