It's the Little Things

It's been ten days. I guess an update is in order.
After some minor/major stresses over the past ten days, I'm reaching a calm place within myself which is a welcome change from being stressed all the time (damn you LSAT!). That doesn't mean the stress has exited entirely (damn you LSAT!), but at least some of the more minor stresses have been taken care of. Which leads me to my small list of nice things that have happened to me over the past 24 hours that have helped me to reach this calm space.

• Getting through an entire logic game without going "how the frak do the expect me to answer this?" Granted that was followed by a game that I couldn't figure out to save my life, but at least I got one without any problems. That's a huge improvement for me.
• Getting complemented on my new haircut by two different guys (one possibly gay, one old as the hills).

Yes, it's a very short list, but at least it's something.
Otherwise my life has been pretty much the same. LSAT, trying to get some clarinet practice in, LSAT, volunteering at WPFW, and LSAT. One other highlight from the past 48 hours is that I will get to move in early at school, thus completing my four year streak of getting to move in early. Which is always nice. And now that I've completely lost the thread of this entry I'll end it here. Until next time.

I Never Wanted to be a Lawyer

Now that it's officially been a "long time" since I last updated (which I warned all of you would happen) I suppose I should give some kind of update. I'm continuing to update my list of unspoken commuter rules (which includes walking up and down the correct side of the escalator and generally not being an idiot) and worrying constantly that I'm not going to get into law school and will be forced to become a hobo (or something along those lines). Mostly I'm worried about my personal statement because what do I say? I'm a music major who's decided to become a lawyer because...because? Yeah, that's really part of the problem. I have no idea what I want to do as a lawyer. I know I want to work in intellectual property and that I want to deal with entertainment (which means trademark and copyright, not patents really). I also I know I'm a music major which makes the whole process of writing this personal statement more complicated because I somehow have to explain how my major relates to being a lawyer. So, I want to be a lawyer because...and I'm a music major and that will help me be a lawyer because...
And then there's the gunner in my prep class. Who's constantly worried which makes me more worried because how am I (the music major) suppose to remain calm when the gunner (a pre-law student) isn't?
Mostly though I'm just trying to fit everything into 24 hours. Homework, class, WPFW, sleeping, eating, and practicing. It might not seem like a lot, but it is really. Especially the sleeping part. That takes up many, many hours. In any event I probably won't update again for awhile. You know how it is.

Whatever Let's You Sleep

There's is a thing I have learned about my mother, a thing that drives me insane, that makes me hate myself and makes me hate her even more. When she's gotten on her high horse, when she is just absolutely certain that she's right and everyone else is wrong, it's best not to argue or show any kind of emotion that might make her think you're arguing with her. It's pointless because the minute you try to disprove her, to point out the blindingly obvious flaws in her argument, she starts yelling even louder than before (and this is a woman who's inside voice is the same as most people's outside voice) and it will just make what is already a painful experience that much worse. Sure, I lie awake in bed not able to get to sleep because I want so badly to argue my point, or at least get the opportunity to argue my point. And yes, this aggravating habit makes me want to run away and never come back and never talk to her ever again. But this is how she has been my entire life. She won't change and I argued most of my childhood and it got me absolutely nowhere. I just have to get this final thing off my chest though: There is a difference between turning on a personal computer without any kind of permission and turning on a computer widely available to the entire family having been given blanket permission to use it. It's a huge difference and cannot be ignored because of the location of said personal computer. So fuck you bitch, it's my goddamn computer and I expect to be treated with respect. So leave my fucking computer alone and don't fucking turn it on without my goddamn permission. Just fucking call me and I'll say yes.
This, along with a number of other things, is why I want to go to law school out of state, even if that means living the rest of my life in debt. I can't live here for another three fucking years.