Brandon Flowers has just made the list. Yes my friends he has now entered the list of Nore's Really Hot Musicians. Those already on the list include Paul and George. :bites lip: It's a very prestigious list. :thinks very hard: Yeah so now there are 3 people on the list. That I just made up.
I joined a Killers Icons comm at livejournal. I will be joining the picci group that I found. A daily squeel fest for me. First the Beatles, then Brandon. :bites lip again: Isn't it good that I'm expanding?
In other news I will be having school tomorrow. :shrugs: Yeah not that much has happened this morning. Then again I've only been awake for two and half hours.
Despite the fact that I've flung myself full force into this new band, I do feel twenty years behind the curve. Then again, better late than never.
It was only a kiss!

Killers vs Beatles

Jesus, has it really been 5 days since I updated? Sorry boys and girls. Actually not that much has happened so need to worry.
Yesterday and Thurday I had snow days, which was really nice in a way. I spent most of yesterday by myself because Mums was at craft fair with my grandmother and aunt. I got a lovely pair of green glass earrings out the whole deal, plus two new eyeliners, so it wasn't too horrible. Oh and I found out how absolutly gorgeous the leader singer of the Killers is. I must find a piccie to show y'all. I <3vh1. Mmmmm...
:goes to find a piccie:
I have only 1 question for you punkers: Why do the guys have to wear eyeliner? Not that I mind :giggle giggle: but is it really necessary?
:edits piccies:
The red circle is the lead singer....
I need to hear Mr. Brightside. And more importantly I need to see the video again. Gaaaaah!!!
See the Beatles don't consume everything! yeah so what if they consume most? It isn't everything!!!

Late

Jesus H. Christ I'm bored. There is nothing to do but homework. Lord knows I don't want to do that. I think I'll check the mail.
Alright, so that was a bust. Damn federal holidays. Ruining everything. Yes I am this bored. then again I've always liked the mail. I'm also one of the few people who actually enjoys the previews. On old VHS tapes I would always watch the coming attractions/video release things. I liked them a lot. :sigh:
Ya know there's both an upside and a downside to not having school. Upside: I get to sleep in. Downside: It's 5:08 and I'm bored out of my frickin' mind.
Alright People has my attention, so I'm off.

Calming Down

When Mums and I use to have an arguement my anger would last me the rest of the day. So if we had an arguement at 2pm I would pretty much be simmering until I went to bed. I'm not exactly sure why (though I do blame it entirely on my therapy) but now I don't get so angry. And when I am angry, I don't let it brew inside me for so long.
Frustration on the other, that still stays. Right now I'm frustrated with Mums because she repeats things that I've known since God knows when, and then gets made at me when she says the same goddamn fucking thing twenty million times. Like today. I have scheduling for next years classes on Thursday during English. There is one class where things are in a bit of a "confusion" because my history teacher (actually government but same diff) wants to see my grade improve before he'll give his consent for placing me in IB History I. Now there is a way to override his decision, but quite frankly I have more faith in myself and my school than my parents seem to have. Now I understand that my parents have been dealing with the school a lot longer than I have, but still. I don't honestly believe my guidance counselor would be so thick as to not reserve a spot for me in this class. Once Mr. Million signs off in May I'll just go back to my guidance couselor and say "Hey! Lookee here! I'm in IB History next year! Mr. Million says so!" The system may be fucked up, but I don't think it's that fucked up.
Now if the system worked the way my parents think it works, I would tell my guidance counselor on Thursday "IB History yes, but not yet" and somehow when May rolls around, I wouldn't be able to be in that class so I would be stuck in freshman history. :rolls eyes: So my Mums is telling me this on the car ride back from Flutopia. Does she realize how many times I've heard this? I already know what could happen. To me it seems highly unlikely, but I do know. So I get a little frustrated. I get a little snippy. So what does my mom do? Blow up at me. I've learned through past experience that since Mums has blown up at me, there's no way to defend myself. No point in defending myself. So instead of digging myself into a hole, or betray own values by apologizing I remain silent. Honestly, that may not have been the best decision, but it was the prefered option at the moment.
Now I've calmed down a little bit and I'm not so pissed off at Mums for blowing up at me both in the car and when we got home. I'm still frustrated though. I still don't understand why Mums thought I didn't know what could happen. Why she thought I was so thick.
I NEED MY BEATLES!!!!!!! Music: Cure-all for Nore

Neglect and Colleges

Not only am I neglecting this journal, I'm neglacting my diary-x journal. I guess I just have better things to do. :thinks: Nah, I've just been really lazy. I apologize though. The whole point of creating this blog was to be a more active blogger kinda person. I guess I'm just not very good at this commitment thing.
I've been getting a lot of brochures from colleges. Most of them are colleges I've never heard of, but most have been fairely interesting. Thus far I have 3 colleges in serious contention. 2 are out of state, but they're both very good fits for me. It's actually kinda funny thinking about colleges this early. I may have been held back (for the most idiotic reasons, but has helped in so many ways) but I'm only a sophmore in high school. I'm not graduating for another two years, let alone applying to colleges.
Alright I'm getting way distracted, so I'm just going to end this entry with a little quote:
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die...

It's Good

It's good to feel excepted. Every time I visit one of my livejournal beatle communities (especially BeatlePics) I feel excepted. Why? Because I know that there are crazy girls my age who love the Beatles as much as I do. It feels good to know that other girls my age are squeeling over men who are a little less (or more) than 50 years older than us. At least I know that there are crazy people like me. Even if I'll never meet them, and they don't know I exsist (cuz I don't post). But they make my life happy, so who cares? Not I.

It's Me

I've never done this before and I will never do it again. Happy V-Day people, this is your gift:

God...
And just so you know, those are my dogs. The white one is Nikki and the brown is Rosie. Her official color is red, so yeah. Please don't hurt me...

Today

Today is a day for lots of chocolate and romantic tirades. Today is day to listen to the Beatles and dream of romance. Today is Valentine's day and I hate it so much. I'm jealous of those who have a somebody, and I wish this day didn't exsist.
Yes it's great that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend! I'm happy for you. Just don't rub in my face. See I don't have anyone to give me flowers and kisses and chocolates. I'm single. Ya know what that means don't ya? It means BUZZ OFF!
Today is a day for going home and listening to the Beatles. Lord knows I'm going to need them like hell.

Maybe if I show mums all the blouses that Eddie Bauer sells, she'll buy some for me. Maybe.
I need to wash my hair, but I'm to lazy and it's too close to lunch. Where should we go to lunch?
I'm trying to make my last entry show up. I honestly don't have anything to say right now. Maybe later. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
See y'all.

Reasons why I like Soul

:revels in Joss' coolness:

:revels in Gwen's strangness:
Polar opposites my friends. I like both in their own ways. But I must say I perfer Joss. Kinda like I prefer blouses. As If that made sense.

Oh my god this computer takes so long to load. Rediculous.
It's absolutly freezing in here. I almost wish I was in some other room in the school. I mean compared to the rest of the building...no the library really is freezing. The rest of the building may be hot, but this room is really, really cold. Unfortunatly it's not making me any more awake.
What was I going to say? There really isn't anything to report. My day thus far has been utterly boring. Chem wasn't even that interesting. Hopefully the rest of the day will be more eventful.
I am seeing the good doctor today. Maybe that will be interesting. Hopefully I won't cry. I always consider it a good thing if I don't cry during my session. Of course I only have good things to report, in general. He already knows about my grades, and so I think I'll tell him about scheduling. Discuss what classes I'm taking, yadda, yadda, yadda. Of course he's much easier to convince then say, my dad. I swear, if it were up to my dad, I would be taking IB French next year. :gags: Thankfully it is not up to him, so I don't have to worry about that. I will tell Dr. Farber about scheduling though. He should know what classes I plan to take next year. :falls asleep on the keyboard: I think I need an espresso in the mornings instead of my regular cup of cafe. Maybe that will keep me awake.
Nothing else to say. Going to get something to eat.

I don't think anyone likes this journal. Unlike with diary-x, I have no way to check how many people are checking it. I think I might tell Liz to check this one before she checks the one at diary-x. I'm much more likely to update this one once I've passed the 1 year mark at diary-x.
:kills the space button on the keyboard: Die you stupid piece of shit, die!
I'm so tired right now. I've never been this tired after chem. Probably 'cuz I use to not really work in chem. Today I was very good and took lots of notes. So now I'm really tired because I was trying really hard to pay attention, while the people behind me chattered away. People are such idiots. I can'tthink coherantly right now. Band is going to be torture. I'll be tired, and so I won't play as well. Ugh.
Tee hee. Yellow.
I hate working at this part of the library. All the idiots sit here and talk about shit. Horrible, absolutly horrible. I'll finish my update in a few.

MYP Frency writing II

We had our last MYP French writing today. I know I'm not going to do well on it though. I wrote a little more than a quarter of what I was suppose to write. I'm absolutly horrible at this stuff! So instead of writing a bunch of bull shit, I wrote on a seperate piece of paper all this random stuff. Actually this task helped me realize some things that I need to realize. So anyway, here it is (all in one paragraphy, cuz other wise it would be way to much):
A perfect day. I can't think in french. 45 minutes left. "Skin that covers me fro head to toe." "Keepin' my flavor fresh." Math and English. Who is going to make me do thsi? I don't care about MYP, then I won't try. I care about doing well in french, I just don't care about doing well on French MYP shit. I'm not like Loghman. I'm writing so much on here, but nothing on the other. Then again I can write more than 200 words in English. I can barely write that much in French with a dictionary let alone without one. I like my outfit today. I know my own limits. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I am not them. I will never be them. I will be the best goddamn music teacher, whatever grade level I teach. I WILL BE SUCESSFUL BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN SUCEED IF I WANT TO. I know my strengths and in those areas I will exceed expectations. In my weak areas I will suceed to the best of my abilities and to the outer limits of my sanity. I will make my dreams a reality and I will not try to be what I'm not. If you want me to take french next year MAKE ME CARE ABOUT FRENCH. I'm not who you think I am. At least I have something.
So yeah, thats what I spent most of my time doing. I'm not going to say it was a waste of time, but I know thats not how I was suppose to spend it. Really though, I couldn't have written 200 words on the enviroment in french. I could have in English, but definatly not in french. Oh well. I have the rest of the quarter to redeem myself. Plus I know I can get a B in this class just doing what I've been doing. I only have the rest of the year. And thats really not that long. It will just seem like forever.

Singing

All of my life I've been trying to convince the system that I'm as smart as my parents have said I was. It was never really my choice. I wanted to please my parents in the worst way, so I did what they wanted me to do. I took the tests, proving over and over again that I was something the county couldn't handle and didn't understand. So, I had to prove through my academics that I was smart. That I deserved to be in the smart classes. That I need a little forgiveness when I forgot my calculator in my locker.
In January I started to finally detach myself from my parents. I have slowly been trying to change from who I was to who I want to be. Everyone around me has said that I've changed. At least the people who have known me pretty well for most of life. My grades aren't exactly reflecting it, but that will change (hopefully) this semester. So what does this all mean? Actually quite a lot.
In my school, we have started scheduling for next years classes, or will be beginning very soon. Right now I'm taking all pre-IB classes. The people around me are academically serious to some extent or another. For the most, the people around me are scheduling their classes so that they can be IB diploma students. Me? Certificates all the way. I've already written about how I feel about doing diploma. But by not doing the diploma I feel like I'm giving up on my years of trying to prove something. I know this isn't right, but still. I'm not doing the diploma. I'm not being a hotshot. I'm not doing what all the bright kids are doing. That must mean I'm not a serious. That I'm not as smart.
Contradictions. My life is full of them. I'm dyslexic, yet I read above my grade level. I can read music. I have auditory processing problems and dyslexia but I'm reading above my grade level. I can read music. I did ballet for 9 years. That may not seem impressive to you, but it is. Honestly.
My emotions are contradictions. My choice of music is a contradiction to my personal beliefs in some respects. I guess I just have to deal with it. I just have to believe that I am making the right choice, the choice that is best for my future. I also really need to stop comparing myself to other people. Other people are not like me. Other people are normal compared to me. I should listen to Solsbury Hill.

"Lost" Email Entry

Here's the "lost" entry I typed earlier today. I don't think I'll be emailing anymore entries for awhile.

It seems kind of silly to be doing this, when I can access the sight and everything, but I like it nonetheless. Makes me feel special.

Thus far school has been going well. English was english, which is to say farely easy. We wasted a lot of time in Chem with Mrs. Stowe explaining to us the IB Diploma program. Really boring for me since I'm not doing the IB diploma. I don't have time, and I don't have the conviction. As Marshall has said, it's nice to have it, colleges like it, but really going for certificates is the same thing education wise. In not doing the diploma I don't have to deal with the stress of writing the extended essay (4,000 word research paper with little to no help from your "advisor), the TOK class (theory of knowledge/philosphy class) and the CAS hours (creative, action, service {aka community service} with no guidance whatsoever from the people in charge.) I'm not saying that the IB diploma program is a lot of hassle for nothing. My sister got except early decision in to William and Mary (a first teer Virginia public college) in large part because she was doing the diploma. I, personally, am not cut out to do it. I'm having a hard enough time this year just keeping ontop of all my work. I say bravo to those who do it, just don't count me in.

Anyway we wasted a lot of time having that explained to us, and then the IB Bio teacher came to talk to us about that class. I was the only person with a question, and once that was covered I started thinking about whether I wanted to do the higher level IB Bio program. I've decided against it because a) I'm going to majoring in biology in college and I'm sure we'll cover enough about genetics and anatomy to quench my thirst for knowledge in that area and b) I really don't want to do double duty in science my senior year. I would so much rather do Chorus and Creative Writing than Physics and IB Bio II.

So thats been my day so far. Not incredibly interesting, but then again, my days are never terribly interesting.

So Much for email

I had a whole entry written which I emailed. Somehow it has disappeared. I guess I'll deal with this at home. Basically it was just an overview of how my day has been. Nothing really interesting actually. I've only had two classes and neither was particularly productive for one reason or another. So far I only have a little bit of English homework for Friday. I'm fairely sure though that Mrs. Burkett will assign us a ton of homework, so I know I won't be lacking in tasks tomorrow night.
Tonight via homework won't be so bad. Just rewriting the same phrase in French over and over and over and over and over and over and...well hopefully you get the point. I have a MYP writing tomorrow in French and really thats the only way to prepare. 200 words. Oh I will be so glad when all of this is over. I don't mind taking French, I just hate doing all this testing. But this is my last of the language, so if I make it through this year with a B (which is what I have been getting) I think I'll be okay. Actually I would be really happy if I had a B average in French this year.
:moans on the inside: Damn my female body! Damn it to hell. Ugh.
Actually If I get a B+ in Chem for the next two quarters, an A in Gov I'll be good. The bell has rung, so I'm off!

Email entry

I find this whole "blogging" thing interesting. I've
had 4 online journals (including this one) since 8th
grade and my life always seems to become incredibly
boring after awhile. I feel like I end up repeating
the same old thing. "Nothing happened today. I'm
bored out of my mind. Math is evil." I don't know
how people keep these things up. I really don't. But
as I say in my profile, I hope to keep up this
journaling thing for longer than a year. Show some
dedication damnit!
Happy Mardi Gras everybody! Have a good Fat Tuesday.
Oh and happy Chinese New Years!

1st Entry in my 4th journal

Hi. The names Nore. I want to see what my template looks like, but I can't until I have a post. So yeah. Cool.