7 days my little guinea pigs. 7 days. :wiggles eyebrows in a silly manner:
Snipers!! It's about snipers...Oh Blender, what light ye shed upon my silly brain, what glorious light.
I am now 1 step closer to getting out of band. :nods: My god smile upon my endeavors. Lord knows I'll need it.
Avers is a smart duck. Classic v. Smart. Yeeeeeeesssssss
2 weeks till I see Ricky again. 2 weeks mes petite chiens. 2 weeks.
Night-night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
26.9.05
Fangirl
I'm quitting band. I'm nervous about doing it, but I'm really, really glad I am. Incredibly happy about this decision. I'm still a little nervous though. I suppose until it happens, I'll be nervous. I'm joining chorus. I'm kind of excited about that. :sigh: I'm feeling really pensive. And in a desperate need to sing loudly. Or eat.
Hmm...not much has happened today. We had a band competition over the weekend. A total waste of my Saturday, but we did get second place. Lost by 4/10ths of a point. God I hate when Mr. Fore tells that kind of crap. :rolls eyes:
Just so y'all know, I'm a horrible, horrible fangirl. Here I have statistics:
FF KC Ke Ki MP 45345
Hmm...not much has happened today. We had a band competition over the weekend. A total waste of my Saturday, but we did get second place. Lost by 4/10ths of a point. God I hate when Mr. Fore tells that kind of crap. :rolls eyes:
Just so y'all know, I'm a horrible, horrible fangirl. Here I have statistics:
- 9 Ricky avatars
- 4 Brandon avatars (use to have more, then I scaled back)
- 5 Tom avatars (out of 6 Keane avatars, and that's of his foot)
- 6 Franzie avatars
- 13 Kaiser Chief avatars
- 11 Killers avatars
- 2 pictures of Ricky
- 6 pictures of Tom
- 7 pictures of Brandon (not including two colorbars)
- 1 wanted poster of Tom
FF KC Ke Ki MP 45345
25.9.05
22.9.05
Contentment
My hair is driving me bonkers. Damn band practice made it all yucky and stuff. I just hope it looked good for school pictures. If that doesn’t work out I’ll be sad-ish.
I wish I lived in England. Then I would be able to watch the Franzie weekend on MTV and the whole Kaiser Chief thing too. It makes me sad. Of course there would be some down sides. Like the whole education thing. But other than that I really wished I lived in the UK. I must live there when I get older. I don’t care how utterly impossible it is, I really, really want to be in the UK. God I love that place. Or at least I love the culture. And history. And accents. And square pies.
You know what’s fun? Debating. Talking to Loghman is so much fun for me. It’s really nice to finally have met someone who will talk to me at a high intellectual level, who isn’t Mums or Dad or Sophs. It was just really nice today to talk to him about books and music and all that sort of stuff. It’s taken me awhile to find someone like this, but I suppose you could say it was worth the wait. I certainly think it was.
I’m not feeling very coherent today. I was amazingly coherent during English and history, but after that it went horribly down hill. I suppose it doesn’t really matter too much. It’s not like I have to write a paper tonight or something. :sigh: I’m just kind of mentally exhausted. I’m glad though. Today was actually a really good day.
:lip synchs to Kaiser Chiefs: These nights of booze catch up with yooze…:does little dance: I’m perfectly content mes cheries. Perfectly content.
I wish I lived in England. Then I would be able to watch the Franzie weekend on MTV and the whole Kaiser Chief thing too. It makes me sad. Of course there would be some down sides. Like the whole education thing. But other than that I really wished I lived in the UK. I must live there when I get older. I don’t care how utterly impossible it is, I really, really want to be in the UK. God I love that place. Or at least I love the culture. And history. And accents. And square pies.
You know what’s fun? Debating. Talking to Loghman is so much fun for me. It’s really nice to finally have met someone who will talk to me at a high intellectual level, who isn’t Mums or Dad or Sophs. It was just really nice today to talk to him about books and music and all that sort of stuff. It’s taken me awhile to find someone like this, but I suppose you could say it was worth the wait. I certainly think it was.
I’m not feeling very coherent today. I was amazingly coherent during English and history, but after that it went horribly down hill. I suppose it doesn’t really matter too much. It’s not like I have to write a paper tonight or something. :sigh: I’m just kind of mentally exhausted. I’m glad though. Today was actually a really good day.
:lip synchs to Kaiser Chiefs: These nights of booze catch up with yooze…:does little dance: I’m perfectly content mes cheries. Perfectly content.
21.9.05
No Title
What's better? Stress out over every single grade that doesn't reach a certain standard and then flog yourself for not reaching the expectations, or not stress out over every grade, no matter what it is, and then not do as well because you didn't care.
I don't want to not care, but I don't want to flog myself for not getting an A on every single piece of graded work. That doesn't happen for me. I put in a certain amount of effort, depending on the variables that exist and things turn out the way they do. I can't seem to make a half way point between apathy and extreme stress. I don't want to have a nervous breakdown at 18, but I don't want to fail again. So the question is, how does one reach a happy median when everyone around you seems to be at one extreme or another? Maybe I over simplify things, but that is the basic question. Reaching a happy median around people who won't take anything less than 100%. Complicated to a certain extent, but then again the answer could be simple. Try and filter out the people who must get A's or die, and ignore those who don't give a damn. It sounds so simple. Maybe it will work.
I got a 100 on the math homework. Loghman got an 85. He just about died. I was sort of expecting my grade. I did with Ms. Buchanan and we checked the answers in the back of the book. Still, was it fair? Was it fair that I took that course over the summer, which was open to everyone, and am now way, way ahead of everyone else? Is it fair that I can write for both English and History equally well? Is it fair that I have certain gifts in those two areas? What is fair? A constant plague between what is deserved and what is given. Nothing is equal, though philosophers wish there was a world that was. So, I get 100 because of certain advantages and Loghman gets an 85 because he doesn't have those advantages. Fair? Not necessarily, but then what is fair?
Sorry for all the philosophy. I guess I'm just in a contemplative mood today. Physics was so boring, and math is just repeative for me, so what else is there to do? Plus, I finished Cross Channel this morning so I have nothing to read. Poor me. :rolls eyes: I need a good shot of caffeine and then I'll be ready to go. Yeah, hopefully.
More later, now I read trash.
I don't want to not care, but I don't want to flog myself for not getting an A on every single piece of graded work. That doesn't happen for me. I put in a certain amount of effort, depending on the variables that exist and things turn out the way they do. I can't seem to make a half way point between apathy and extreme stress. I don't want to have a nervous breakdown at 18, but I don't want to fail again. So the question is, how does one reach a happy median when everyone around you seems to be at one extreme or another? Maybe I over simplify things, but that is the basic question. Reaching a happy median around people who won't take anything less than 100%. Complicated to a certain extent, but then again the answer could be simple. Try and filter out the people who must get A's or die, and ignore those who don't give a damn. It sounds so simple. Maybe it will work.
I got a 100 on the math homework. Loghman got an 85. He just about died. I was sort of expecting my grade. I did with Ms. Buchanan and we checked the answers in the back of the book. Still, was it fair? Was it fair that I took that course over the summer, which was open to everyone, and am now way, way ahead of everyone else? Is it fair that I can write for both English and History equally well? Is it fair that I have certain gifts in those two areas? What is fair? A constant plague between what is deserved and what is given. Nothing is equal, though philosophers wish there was a world that was. So, I get 100 because of certain advantages and Loghman gets an 85 because he doesn't have those advantages. Fair? Not necessarily, but then what is fair?
Sorry for all the philosophy. I guess I'm just in a contemplative mood today. Physics was so boring, and math is just repeative for me, so what else is there to do? Plus, I finished Cross Channel this morning so I have nothing to read. Poor me. :rolls eyes: I need a good shot of caffeine and then I'll be ready to go. Yeah, hopefully.
More later, now I read trash.
Lyrics (Jacqueline)
I don't do this very often, but right now I just need to have something here. I'm in such and awful state, or was in an awful state last night, that I need to say it somehow. I'm short on time, so this is the best I can do:
It's funny how certain bands, they just make me feel better. I don't feel bad when I listen to Franzie, or the Killers. I feel better. Mind you it would have been really nice to have last night gone a lot better, but I shouldn't expect so much from Mr. Fore. He never matured beyond about 6th grade. :sigh: My throat hurts. Goddamn bastard.
Gregor was down again
Said, 'Come on, kick me again'
Said, 'I'm so drunk I don't mind if you kill me'
Come on you gutless
Yeah, I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive and how I know it
But for chips, and for freedom I could die
It's funny how certain bands, they just make me feel better. I don't feel bad when I listen to Franzie, or the Killers. I feel better. Mind you it would have been really nice to have last night gone a lot better, but I shouldn't expect so much from Mr. Fore. He never matured beyond about 6th grade. :sigh: My throat hurts. Goddamn bastard.
19.9.05
Blather blither
Can't concentrate.
I listened to a bit over an hour of the Beatles. Immediately there after I started listening to Keane. I swear to god I need to branch out a little. I got a ton of other cds, but I haven't listened to half of them in years. Sadness beyond all sadness. My mind is becoming narrower by the minute.
I'm a horrible pop junkie. My choice to replace Keane -- Natalie Imbruglia. Yeah. Me <3 pop. Ugh. I feel a little worn. I'm uber tired of pulling b.s. out of my ass for English, and history just depresses me. I hate procrastinating because I know thats what I'm doing and it frustrates me to no end. Then again I can't seem to write tonight. My mind refuses to cooperate with me. It wants to play 3 Lines. Stupid poop. In any event, this evening is not going particularly well for me. The rest of the day was fine though.
:sings: It's too late, oh don't come crawling...
I listened to a bit over an hour of the Beatles. Immediately there after I started listening to Keane. I swear to god I need to branch out a little. I got a ton of other cds, but I haven't listened to half of them in years. Sadness beyond all sadness. My mind is becoming narrower by the minute.
I'm a horrible pop junkie. My choice to replace Keane -- Natalie Imbruglia. Yeah. Me <3 pop. Ugh. I feel a little worn. I'm uber tired of pulling b.s. out of my ass for English, and history just depresses me. I hate procrastinating because I know thats what I'm doing and it frustrates me to no end. Then again I can't seem to write tonight. My mind refuses to cooperate with me. It wants to play 3 Lines. Stupid poop. In any event, this evening is not going particularly well for me. The rest of the day was fine though.
:sings: It's too late, oh don't come crawling...
18.9.05
Choir
There is a difference between the fine arts, band, choir/chorus, and string people. Unfortunatly you have to be one the above to be able to tell. Or least be fairly familiar with the above groups. Otherwize you'd never know. Or at least not really know, and that would be bad. Because there is a difference.
I started choir today at the church Mum goes to. Since Dad is aethesist, Mums is the religious person in the family. I'm fairly ambvialent and was completely awed by the service today. I'm fairly sure that by the end of the year I will be completely against the church. Hopefully not. In any event I started choir.
There is a difference between choir/chorus people and band people. Or at least there's a difference between me and the people in choir. It's not intelligence, it's personality. My personality is different from the rest of the choir members. Then again the same could be said for me and the rest of the clarinet section. In any event I could tell right off the bat that the people who are doing this are in their high school chorus. But I suppose it doesn't really matter. Depending on how much of a jerk Mr. Fore is I may not do band next year. Hopefully things will work out, but if they don't then I might as well get use to choir/chorus people.
I'm glad that I'm doing this though. I love singing and it's always more fun to perform with live people, so I think this is a good thing to do. :repeats this phrase ad nausem:
:looks around the room: God this place a pig stye. My lovely little hell hole. I should clean up.
My mother told me yesterday that if Loghman asks me out I should say yes. This comes from the fact that on Thursday, when it was fairly clear that I was sick, Loghman said he would be very disappointed if I wasn't in history the next day. Sadly for Loghman I wasn't in history on Friday, in fact I think I was sleeping through most of history. I felt awful, but I thought about how disappointed he might have been. I hope he was joking. I hope that Mums and Dad and Sophs are all wrong. I hope he doesn't ask me out. Because going out with Loghman is a very hard idea for me to swallow.
Theeta. Not thada. Remember that children.
"You're not special so, look what you've done boy..."
I started choir today at the church Mum goes to. Since Dad is aethesist, Mums is the religious person in the family. I'm fairly ambvialent and was completely awed by the service today. I'm fairly sure that by the end of the year I will be completely against the church. Hopefully not. In any event I started choir.
There is a difference between choir/chorus people and band people. Or at least there's a difference between me and the people in choir. It's not intelligence, it's personality. My personality is different from the rest of the choir members. Then again the same could be said for me and the rest of the clarinet section. In any event I could tell right off the bat that the people who are doing this are in their high school chorus. But I suppose it doesn't really matter. Depending on how much of a jerk Mr. Fore is I may not do band next year. Hopefully things will work out, but if they don't then I might as well get use to choir/chorus people.
I'm glad that I'm doing this though. I love singing and it's always more fun to perform with live people, so I think this is a good thing to do. :repeats this phrase ad nausem:
:looks around the room: God this place a pig stye. My lovely little hell hole. I should clean up.
My mother told me yesterday that if Loghman asks me out I should say yes. This comes from the fact that on Thursday, when it was fairly clear that I was sick, Loghman said he would be very disappointed if I wasn't in history the next day. Sadly for Loghman I wasn't in history on Friday, in fact I think I was sleeping through most of history. I felt awful, but I thought about how disappointed he might have been. I hope he was joking. I hope that Mums and Dad and Sophs are all wrong. I hope he doesn't ask me out. Because going out with Loghman is a very hard idea for me to swallow.
Theeta. Not thada. Remember that children.
"You're not special so, look what you've done boy..."
12.9.05
Feeding the Obsession
Alright. So my big huge post about school did not come on Friday. So here's a really short summary: I fucking love all my teachers. I'm so incredibly happy, I leave school in a good mood. I'm just so blessed with some really great teachers this year. I'm glad that this is happening this year. I don't really care about my teachers next year, but this year, after all the worrying...God I'm just so glad that things seem to be working out well. I hope it continues throughout the year.
Hmm....Yeah. I can't wait till math tomorrow. I just know that I'll be hyper when I leave. :smiles: Anglophile: One who admires England, its people, and its culture.
Just put in "is obsessed" and ya got me. I seriously need to get a grip or move there.
FF KC Ke Ki MP
Hmm....Yeah. I can't wait till math tomorrow. I just know that I'll be hyper when I leave. :smiles: Anglophile: One who admires England, its people, and its culture.
Just put in "is obsessed" and ya got me. I seriously need to get a grip or move there.
FF KC Ke Ki MP
8.9.05
Pissy
This is making me angry
Read the article. On the second page about midway down the first column the author starts talking about Keane. Essentially it's a diss to both bands, which made me really angry. I didn't actually finish reading it because I couldn't get past that bit in the article. I love both bands completely and reading something so nasty makes me cringe. Of course I don't mind the fact that Ricky doesn't like Keane. I mean compare the two and there is no reason for him to like Keane. But there is no point in being so...nasty to Keane. That makes Keane look bad (which isn't deserved) and it makes the Kaiser Chiefs look mean (which isn't true.) Ugh!!
So I leave the library after lunch. Loghman was in the library too, but he left before I did because he didn't have to put back a magazine. So there are steps up to the upper level of the school and a door. Behind the door, there's Loghman, waiting for me. We walked back to class together. He sits next me (actually across the one/two foot aisle) in history. He sits right next to me in math. Sad thing is, if he likes me, it's not reciprocated. Plus, he's highly conservative. A very nice person, but very conservative. Would never work. Then again maybe I'm reading too much into this. More likely. Anyway, thought you might like to know.
Read the article. On the second page about midway down the first column the author starts talking about Keane. Essentially it's a diss to both bands, which made me really angry. I didn't actually finish reading it because I couldn't get past that bit in the article. I love both bands completely and reading something so nasty makes me cringe. Of course I don't mind the fact that Ricky doesn't like Keane. I mean compare the two and there is no reason for him to like Keane. But there is no point in being so...nasty to Keane. That makes Keane look bad (which isn't deserved) and it makes the Kaiser Chiefs look mean (which isn't true.) Ugh!!
So I leave the library after lunch. Loghman was in the library too, but he left before I did because he didn't have to put back a magazine. So there are steps up to the upper level of the school and a door. Behind the door, there's Loghman, waiting for me. We walked back to class together. He sits next me (actually across the one/two foot aisle) in history. He sits right next to me in math. Sad thing is, if he likes me, it's not reciprocated. Plus, he's highly conservative. A very nice person, but very conservative. Would never work. Then again maybe I'm reading too much into this. More likely. Anyway, thought you might like to know.
6.9.05
Meep
Really trying hard to avoid doing my homework. I have to read a chapter in music history and I have a short english assigment. It's not that I don't want to do them, I'm just very much in the habit of avoiding such things. Oh well. None of it's due till Thursday.
I'm deciding to wait till Friday to give my full report on school. I figure my memory is good enough to remember four days of school, and if it's not something is seriously wrong. Thus far I'm having a good time and like the my teachers (or at least the ones I didn't already like) and I'm hoping the trend will continue tomorrow. Anywho I promise promise to give a full report Friday. I just don't have time today. Too much was spent wasting said time. Also I just don't feel like it. And this isn't a homework assigment. :sticks out tongue:
I'm deciding to wait till Friday to give my full report on school. I figure my memory is good enough to remember four days of school, and if it's not something is seriously wrong. Thus far I'm having a good time and like the my teachers (or at least the ones I didn't already like) and I'm hoping the trend will continue tomorrow. Anywho I promise promise to give a full report Friday. I just don't have time today. Too much was spent wasting said time. Also I just don't feel like it. And this isn't a homework assigment. :sticks out tongue:
5.9.05
:blather:
I want this shirt. Much kudos to quixoticvision at livejournal for posting the link. I want this shirt so bad. So bad.
3.9.05
Yellow Tape and History
It's amazing what nature can do. I'm also fasicnated with how we humans deal with what was bound to happen.
I'll admit I haven't been the most attentive to Katrina and her after effects. I've heard about them from large print bold headlines, NPR, and what my parents have discussed. I'm shocked with how the government has responded (or how they didn't respond) but I'm also amazed with how little was done in preparation. I understand, the funding wasn't there etc, etc, but that doesn't make me any less shocked.
In all honesty though, I don't care. I have basically two days until I start my junior year of high school. I know it sounds callous and selfish, but the poor (as in no money) people in a city in the deep south that I've never been to don't trump that. I've never really cared about the greater world issues that so many other people care about. Iraqi, the tsunami, all that -- I could care less. I'm not ignorant to what's happening, I just don't care. I have so much else happening, so much to think about, so much conflict both internal and external to deal with that caring deeply about politics just doesn't fit. I can't be that selfless. And for that I am sorry. I wish I gave a damn about what is happening down in New Orleans, but I don't.
This morning about the same time I was suppose to be leaving for a haircut sirens came screeching down my street. An ambulance, fire truck, emergency vehicles and a police car I think. I've been so nervous about school I didn't notice every last car. According to one of the policemen the youngest son of our next door neighbor got crushed under the garage door. He left the scene unconscious. The father had been working on the door and his two sons were running around. Who was to know that the door would come down just as the youngest was underneath it? I know my mother will be praying for him tonight. I'm not the kind of person who prays, but I hope that the little boy comes out alright.
Funny how things happen. History is happening, people close by are having their houses taped off with yellow tape and what am I thinking about? September 6th. Not Katrina, not the boy next door, not whats going to happen to our government, no I'm nervous about something that is so seemingly superfluous. But isn't history filled with things like that? Great literature certainly is. Doesn't make me feel better, but at least I know I'm not the only person in the world who hasn't cared.
I'll admit I haven't been the most attentive to Katrina and her after effects. I've heard about them from large print bold headlines, NPR, and what my parents have discussed. I'm shocked with how the government has responded (or how they didn't respond) but I'm also amazed with how little was done in preparation. I understand, the funding wasn't there etc, etc, but that doesn't make me any less shocked.
In all honesty though, I don't care. I have basically two days until I start my junior year of high school. I know it sounds callous and selfish, but the poor (as in no money) people in a city in the deep south that I've never been to don't trump that. I've never really cared about the greater world issues that so many other people care about. Iraqi, the tsunami, all that -- I could care less. I'm not ignorant to what's happening, I just don't care. I have so much else happening, so much to think about, so much conflict both internal and external to deal with that caring deeply about politics just doesn't fit. I can't be that selfless. And for that I am sorry. I wish I gave a damn about what is happening down in New Orleans, but I don't.
This morning about the same time I was suppose to be leaving for a haircut sirens came screeching down my street. An ambulance, fire truck, emergency vehicles and a police car I think. I've been so nervous about school I didn't notice every last car. According to one of the policemen the youngest son of our next door neighbor got crushed under the garage door. He left the scene unconscious. The father had been working on the door and his two sons were running around. Who was to know that the door would come down just as the youngest was underneath it? I know my mother will be praying for him tonight. I'm not the kind of person who prays, but I hope that the little boy comes out alright.
Funny how things happen. History is happening, people close by are having their houses taped off with yellow tape and what am I thinking about? September 6th. Not Katrina, not the boy next door, not whats going to happen to our government, no I'm nervous about something that is so seemingly superfluous. But isn't history filled with things like that? Great literature certainly is. Doesn't make me feel better, but at least I know I'm not the only person in the world who hasn't cared.
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