Music News 103

I don't know if colleges and university actually have classes with 103 in them, but I don't really care. In any event, here's a syllabus of what I'll be talking about today:

• Guillemots
• Jenny Lewis
• Arctic Monkeys
• Morrissey

Onwards and upwards as they say...
Guillemots
If anyone actually took the time to read my journal the might realize that I'm highly obsessed with music and that I don't care about naming people. For the most part I use my friends real names mostly because I can't take the time to think up new names for them and probably wouldn't remember the new names anyway. But because I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm not actually writing about music but about my friends and sensitive issues concerning my friends, today I'll just be using just the first letter of their names. You see recently (last night) I've come to the realization that I am to my friends now what I've always been to my friends: A pair of ears. They seem to care very little about my feelings and even less about my interests. They only seem to put up with my interests before they move onto whatever it is they want to talk about. The reason I've only just realized this is because I tend not to push my interests because I realize that I'm the only person who actually knows what I'm talking about. The thing is that my friends want me to be someone I don't want to be and they find that incredibly frustrating. The whole situation from last night made me realize how very different I am from my friends and that there is nothing to be done about it.
Jenny Lewis
J has a fierce personality and she doesn't really give a shit what other people think about it. She just does what she wants, with very little constraints and almost no regard for the consequences of her actions and words. So, in turn, she doesn't realize how very often I come to wanting to screaming at her to shut the fuck up. J just has no sense of how aggravating she can be or how very wrong her impression of me is. She thinks I have no back bone because I don't like calling people and because I don't push my views and opinions on other people. Now I may not be the most outgoing of people, but continually telling me to "man up" and pushing her view of how I should be isn't going to get her anywhere and just guarantees that come this fall she'll be out of my life is a quickly as possible. And the most frustrating part for me is that I know she doesn't see and wouldn't understand any of this. She just wouldn't.
Arctic Monkeys
Oh A. Perfectly naive and innocent A. He thinks I don't know anything because I don't know that much about sex, drugs, and booze, but he doesn't even know the half of it. He thinks that because I don't laugh at stupid jokes and don't revel in previously mentioned topics I'm uptight and need to loosen up. If I don't laugh at sex joke it's because I don't think it's funny. What annoys me about A though is that there are times when he seems to be more than stupid jokes and lude innuendos. I wish he would show that side more than the side I so often see. Maybe once he gets away from J (who seems to be the driving force in any conversation, ever) he'll start maturing a bit, but who knows. I guess he just who he is. All I hope is that he realizes sooner rather than later that there's more to me than he thinks there is.
Morrissey
In the end none of this matter and things will be just what they are, for better or worse. I have my complaints but there's really nothing I can do to change the people around me and so I'll just have to live with what I have at the moment. I know that there are people out there more like me and eventually I might get to meet those people but for now I just have to live and wait. Ultimately none of it matters and I'll just be who I am despite what people may think. The world will continue to rotate and the universe will continue to be really, really huge. Life goes on, and so do I.
Well this entry ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be, sorry. Hope I didn't take up too much of your time ;)

Love Thy Name is Fozzie Pt. 2

I saw Once again with Jasmine and Alex. I mouthed along with most of the songs and realized that all of the songs are played during the movie, I just didn't remember them. I fell slightly more in love with the movie, which made up for the way I felt before the movie. I wanted my friends to like it so much and I was worried sick that they wouldn't and then we got lost on the way to the theatre which sucked, all adding up to a very tense Nore. As much as I loved the movie, yet again, I was tense the whole time wondering what Jasmine and Alex thought of it, whether they would like it, what they would say when we left, etc. I know ultimately it doesn't matter, I would go back to Arlington in a heart beat to see the movie again and again and again until I had every line memorized, but for once I would like to not be alone in my like (or in this case deep and utter devotion) of something. I know I can be a bit obsessive at times (eg: Kaiser Chiefs) but it would be nice if once someone else felt the same way I did who I was friends with. Obviously, there will eventually be a time when that is true, but it would just be nice if I had it now.
I want one brilliant, absolutely perfect and romantic and brilliant weekend. I would be eternally happy if I had just one weekend like they did. Just once.
His falsetto is beautiful. How could you not love a falsetto like that?

The Summer Has Arrived

Bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. So bored in fact that writing out bored is more interesting than what I was doing before. So terribly incredibly bored. Oh well, at least I'll be doing something tomorrow! Oh yeah...
Well I got my eyes checked today and because this was the first time I had seen this doctor, they wanted to dilate my eyes. So my eyes were dilated, which is always annoying. But this new guy is really great, so the whole thing was kind of worth the it. I'll be going into the city tonight to see my dad play with his band, which should be interested. They'll be playing at the Black Cat, which is were the Cribs will be playing in August, so I'll be able to survey the place, see what it's like and all that. Hopefully it won't be anything like the Sonar. But yeah, the time in between is incredibly boring. So let's move on.
Lily Allen has started in on her next album. I'm interested to see what she does with album, at least in terms of lyrics. I assume that musically it will be very similar to Alright, Then, but in terms of topics I'm interested in see what she decides to discuss, as it were. But yay for Lily.
Speaking of new albums, despite the fact that Rivers said they'd broken up, Weezer are starting recording their sixth album. I'm not a huge fan of Weezer, but it's interesting nonetheless. I'd gotten the feeling from news earlier in the year that the band had dissolved, but according to the article, they were just on hiatus. So yeah, good on them.
And now for some exciting news if you're a mean cold hearted person. Preston and Chantelle have split up!! As I have previously stated, I'm a mean cold hearted person and so I'm actually quite excited about this little piece of news. I'm mainly excited about their split up because Preston was a twat on NMTB and towards Simon and so really I'm just glad to see him get his. I know for the majority of you, this will mean absolutely nothing, but that's what you get for reading this blog: a whole lot of nonsense about the UK.
In other British pop news, the Spice Girls are back!!!! You might be surprised at how enthusiastic I am about this news, but why shouldn't I be? The Spice Girls were a happy part of my childhood and weren't that horrible. But to be perfectly honest I just think the whole things hilarious. They must be so desperate. :sigh: Silly Brits.
So I've been listening to the Once soundtrack for the past couple of days. There are thirteen tracks on the album, but I only remember like 7 of them actually being played in the movie. Yes, I realize that seven out of thirteen is a little more than half, but I wish I could remember when the rest were played, if they were in fact played during the movie. I like the majority of the tracks nonetheless, though I wish there was more consistency of quality throughout the whole album. Mind you, all of this has fuelled my desire to see the movie again, which I will be tomorrow. Hopefully my friends won't kill or maim me tomorrow during the movie. There's every chance they will, but I hope they don't. Anywho, yay Once!!!!!!!!
Constrained yelling is the new screaming. Or maybe he's just screaming.

A Slightly More "Sane" Entry

By slightly, I mean I'm not going to talk about Once. Otherwise this entry is like every other entry I've ever made, which means absolutely nutters. In any event, moving on...
Keith's gone grey, Keith's gone grey, Keith's gone grey, Keith's gone grey, Keith's gone grey!!!!! You see, if you go through the pictures in that post and look at Keith you'll notice that in just a little over a year he's gone from dark, dark brown to grey. The only reason I'm excited about this is because I've been very slowly going grey since I was born and so the fact that someone really cool and semi-famous (and is only eleven years older than me) is going grey makes me feel slightly better about my own white hairs. So yeah, Keith's gone grey!!!
In the world of Arctic Monkeys, "Fluorescent Adolescent" was released yesterday which means that Yahoo! will have it in it's catalogue soonish. But because DiS runs does it's reviews based on the Gallifrian calendar, I was fairly surprised to see that there was actually a review of "Fluorescent Adolescent" today. The majority of the review is a non-sequitur, relatively speaking, but the actual review is good. Also the bit at the end about TABASCO is totally true.
Kaiser Chiefs are going on tour. Specifically their going on tour in the UK. This November, and I can guarantee you DiS won't enjoy themselves. But you see what all of the above articles fail to mention is who their support will be this November. Well, not to worry because I know. And guess what? The lead singer of their support and Ricky will be ruling the world by the end of November. That's right my friends, We Are Scientists will be supporting their good ol' friends Kaiser Chiefs. I'm going to go die now.
One last word before I go: James Blunt is saving the UK, one horrible falsetto note at a time.
He's got big eyes, big blue eyes, that stare, all big and blue.

Love Thy Name is Fozzie

Yesterday I finally got the chance to go see Once which I had heard about, mostly because of the soundtrack, on Filter. I had also read a review on A.V. Club, which had given it an A and all in all I had heard good things about the movie. Because of this I thought it might be worth my time to go see the film, if only because it meant I would be out of my room for a few hours, which is always a good thing. I left the theatre with a pain in my chest and a huge smile on my face, feeling like I had just left a concert. I'm literally scared to listen to the soundtrack for fear of what it might do to my psyche. My sister and I have also given the lead actor the nickname of Fozzie or Fuzzy Bear, depending on whether or not I can remember Fozzie. All of this because of one little Irish indie film. I would highly suggest seeing this little indie film, but only if you take me along, I'd like to see it again.
Also I've decided that I have to marry someone with ginger hair who can pull off facial hair as well.
:runs off to Ireland to find her busker:

Say Hello to My Little Friend...

My bored little friend, not this automatic rifle I store under the bed, cuz you never know when the boogie man is gonna come get ya. Anyway, I've got non-music related articles to share, so shall we move onto the final act?
DON'T LEAVE THE DAILY SHOW JON!!!!!! You see, the last time a host from the Daily Show left for late night broadcast channel fame, it didn't happen. I just don't want you to become the next Craig Kilborn, that's all. It's not that I don't think you're talented, I just don't think your Late Late Show material. So please, for the love of all that is right in this world, don't leave the Daily Show!!!
So a really long time ago (December) I got all excited about my two favourite things in the whole wide world being brought together by one of my not so favourite magazines. Now, many moons later, I'm seeing the fruition of this combination, though I won't actually be seeing for another many moons. You, my lovely readers, see McFly is going to be on Doctor Who. Now some of you may be confused. "Nore, I thought Kaiser Chiefs and Doctor Who were your two favourite things?" Well you'd be right. Oddly enough though, McFly rates pretty high in my book and have been interviewed by my favourite on-line music website, DIY, but more importantly two of their members have been on NMTB, which means that although I may not love their music, they still rock at life. Unfortunately the episode they're going to be guesting on is part two of the three part season finale for DW, so I won't actually be seeing the episode until it's aired in the States. But look who else is going to be on the episode...that's right Sharon Osbourne!! Yes, there is much to look forward to in the coming months, lots and lots.
I really only have one reason to post this article, but I'm going for it anyway to make up for the lie I'm going to have to commit in a moment. Enjoy!
"Look at this, we’re sailing in the Carribbean. As pirates. We are pirates."
Now...a music related article.
Lies. Filthy, dirty, vicious lies. Also incredibly poorly written lies. Pete Doherty will never clean up, never, not a million years. I have no faith in the man, especially now that I've read some of his writing. Some might call this cynical, but I remember way back in December of 2005 how he said he was going to stay clean. Well look were that got us. Yes, I predict there will be no wedding because Pete Doherty won't be able to keep off the smack. Now I'm going to act all indignant for awhile longer. Hurmph.
This actually coincides with what I'll be doing tonight, but could also be considered a continuation of something I said on Facebook. Anywho...
We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
You'll find he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does
We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!!!!!

Intermission Cont.

:in a sing-song manner: I've got no self control, I've got no self control, I've got no self control and I'm in love with Ricky :end:

Especially when he does stupid things. Like sticks a drill up his nose. Also, I don't remember when this photo was taken, it was a long time ago. Before April. Anyway...the intermission continues.

Intermission

Opened with Middling Reviews

Uuuuhhhh....Glasto. Possibly the worst weekend for a Brit music fan who lives in the States, because anyone whose anyone plays Glasto. Mind you it's suppose to rain again this year, but still. Mud at Glasto is different from other festival mud. It's god-like mud, not normal human mud. Anyway, NME is going to be a disaster area for me this weekend for me. I'm fairly sure that DIY and DiS won't be updating this weekend and I'll be able to avoid their coverage, but NME is just ridiculous in their coverage, so yeah. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with Glasto, unlike in '05, where I knew shit. God, festival season.
Anyway! Moving away from the frustration of festival season, onto the snarking of the outside world! Yay!
Let's start with a tongue twister of sorts. You see much of the East Coast is littered with the remains of English colonization, particularly when it comes to names. If you ever get to visit upstate New York (near the Vermont border) be sure to visit Leeds. Or if you're in Vermont, hell even New Hampshire, visit Londonderry, it's fun. Anyway, the point is that there are two states that are named for cities (and actually dukedoms) in England (not Great Britain, England.) One of them is New Jersey. So...we finally get the piece of music news. Kasabian is headlining the Jersey Live two day festival. But not the cool Jersey in the States, the lame Jersey in England. So yeah, lame Jersey = Festival, cool Jersey = No Festival. And that's the point of this really long paragraph.
And now a dialog between the Brothers Jarman:
Ryan: Let's tour the States.
Gary and Ross: Okay!
Gary: Where should we go?
Ross: Places
Ryan and Gary: Duuh.
Ryan: How about we start out West and make our way to the East?
Gary and Ross: Okay!
Two months later...
Here are the East Coast dates and I'll let you decide for yourself what the Brothers were thinking: Toronto, NYC, Philly. That's it. >_< is all I have to say.
:as she listens to iTunes Paul McCartney ad: See what you get for smoking? A low voice that only kind of sounds like you when you were in your thirty's. Yeah, that's right, I'm dicking on Macca.
Moving along!
Sgt Pepper must die! That is all. Oh and total yay for Wayne Coyne and Jackie McKeown.
Okay, now non-music stuff. In a second entry, this one is way too long. Onwards and upwards!

Lies

I need more Kaiser Chiefs and distractions. I don't have enough of either. You see if I let my mind wander for even a second I start thinking about all the lies I've been told over the past year and I can't handle that right now. So instead I've been listening to YTAM since 2 and have some how distracted myself for an equal amount of time. Unfortunately the distractions are running out and YTAM will only last me so long before it's magical healing powers stop working. I would listen to Employment but there's less angst on it and I'm kind of in the mood for angst. In any event, the point is I need more Kaiser Chiefs and distractions. Also, I'm un-hiding everything having to do with KC because my mental health kind of relies on this action right now. After I do that I'm going to practice the piano until my wrists hurt or I master "I'll Fly Away", which ever comes first. I think this will help.
She's been living in two worlds, one a blatant lie and the other nothing but failure and loneliness. But she lied, lied to my face and said everything was alright. She said she was going to classes and doing her work. When I visited her she wasn't even enrolled, but she said she had classes. She lied when we went to the Kaiser Chiefs concert and she lied this summer. All she's been doing is lying to me, to my parents, wasting so much money on a lies and more lies. I hate her for lying to me, but at the same time I feel like a hypocrite because I've lied so many times in the past. But not like this. Maybe that's the difference. I lied and never got away with it. She lied a did get away with it. She's like Jack (dear God I can't believe I'm referencing DW), someone I can't even look at without cringing. How could she do this to us, to herself?
I need more Kaiser Chiefs.

The News and Nothing But...

...The News:
Remember all that time ago when I said that Noel Gallagher confused me? Well, he continues to confuse me with his comments about the Sgt Pepper re-recording. I haven't had the chance (or want) to listen to the second part of Radio 2's docu on this re-recording, but supposidly Oasis was set to cover "Within You Without You" which was one of George's songs. Also the song uses sitar which is really hard to play and so my question is, "Shouldn't you be embarrassed that you're not George Harrison?" But yeah, the Gallagher's (and yes I am lumping Liam into this) continue to be twats. All is right with the world.
There are times when I hate everyone everywhere. These times are usually sparked by my constant disappointment at the fact that I don't live in Western Europe or the UK and thus do not get to attened any of the festivals that occur in that wonderful land (of sugar and happiness and free beer.) Most of my news sites are a reminder of this disappointment, no more so than NME who garnered this headline a few days ago: "Kaiser Chiefs and Hard-Fi added Ibiza Rocks." To this I say; I hate you all and your dogs.
This article confuses me greatly. That's all I have to say really. I'm greatly confused by the article because I am. Maybe I'm just thick, but yeah. I can't even comment because I'm so confused. And creeped out ever so slightly by Jarvis Cocker but that's neither here nor there. Mostly I'm just confused.
Alright, I'm off to get a diet Coke and then watch some Doc. Who. This will be my last episode before the season starts up here in the States, so I'm rather excited. Except for a few hiccups :cough:Daleks:cough: this season has been remarkably good and I'm really looking forward to rewatching it, starting July 6th at 8pm (if you want to watch "The Runaway Bride") or 9:30pm (if you just want to start with the first episode of the season "Jones and Smith.") Anyway, I'm off.

I Can't Think of a Witty Title So Your Stuck with This

Bollocks. My soft romantic core isn't being helpful at the moment and hopefully I'll be able to salvage something from this god awful situation, but who knows. I'm shit at this sort of thing, have been since forever. Damn my lack of adequate social skills. Damn the Brothers Grimm and Charles Perrault. Damn myself.
Umm...my sister is horribly awkward, more so than myself, and thus dented my enjoyment of Knocked Up, though overall I thought the movie was alright. I didn't absolutely love The 40 Year Old Virgin so I'm not surprised that I didn't love this one either, but it wasn't awful. I didn't really feel like going to the movies yesterday anyway, which may have added to the overall experience. Guh...
I was feeling really witty last night and so I saved a few news articles to make fun of, but I was too tired to actually do anything with them, so now I'm stuck with these articles that I don't feel up to writing about. Hopefully after watching some Black Books (which I now own), I'll have regained my sarcasm and so I'll be able to write about the previously mentioned articles. They're quite good too, so it should be fun once I get my shit together.
Blehck. Why oh why must life be so damn complicated? I try my hardest not to make things complicated and then I do one thing and everything gets complicated and shitty. Then again my wonderful sense of paranoia may be the one doing the thinking and so this all been made complicated because I'm a paranoid little shit. Ultimately, I will go back to my little hole and everything will settle itself out and Farber can just shove it up his. So there.
Just in case you were curious I'm a music explorer.

I Downloaded This from Friday Five

1. Do you download music not from the popular genres of Top 40, pop, rock, rap, dance, R&B, or country?
Umm...Does British indie rock count? If so, then yes, rather enthusiastically.

2. Are there any musicians for whom you've downloaded a significant amount of their material yet own few or none of their albums?
Well, technically speaking I've downloaded more by the Arctic Monkeys than I have as albums, but...well they're ep's so I don't if that counts. If that doesn't count then no. I like buying albums for the liner notes, even if they're useless :cough:Arctic Monkeys:cough:

3. Have you ever enjoyed a downloaded album so much that you went and bought the physical album?
We Are Scientists, OK Go, the Long Blondes, Rilo Kiley, Lily Allen, Kasabian, Muse, KT Tunstall, Blur, Belle and Sebastian, the Cribs (when Men's Needs... eventually comes out), the Futureheads, and the Young Knives. So..yes.

4. How many different ways of playing music do you own (such as radio, stereo system, computer, Walkman/Discman, mp3 player, mp3-ready phone, etc.)?
For all intents and purposes I have three different ways of playing music, but I only use two (mp3 player and computer.)

5. Do you still have and/or play a favorite vinyl album, cassette tape, or 8-track tape?
No. 0_0

Post-Graduation

Well, now that graduation is over I have something to admit: I have a strange half-crush on someone whose name is not Ricky. Who (and what) he is will remain confidential for the time being for the sake of the few others involved because I can never make my life simple so of course there are other people involved and they need to be protected from my f-upped-idness (if that made some sort of sense.) Also in other bizarre news a very old friend of mine has added me as a friend on Facebook. 0_0 The days just get stranger and stranger.
There really isn't anything else I need to say at the moment, so I'll just leave it with the above. I'll be back later with some sort of reflection shit or maybe just random shit, I don't know. But yeah, I've officially left secondary education. Yay!

News from the Graduation

Today Nore was subjected (and tortured by) a large mob of people, most whom did not know she existed and thus did not care that their loud yelling, screaming, and almost continuous clapping might (almost definitely) have caused serious damage to her hearing. This loud mob also exhausted Nore, but for our poor heroine, there will be no relief. Nore will now have to spend at least two hours with her relatives, possibly without the aid of sarcasm and a noticeable lack of British accents/music. Hopefully Nore will be able to make a full recovery from this horrendous nightmare in the coming days. Until then, this Charles R. Wilson with News from the Graduation.
[Don't worry I haven't lost my mind, just my sanity.]

Something Else

There's something else I wanted to post, that Tom Chaplin said. You see the way the Keane website works the url for it is always http://www.keanemusic.com no matter what you're looking at, which means that I can't give you guys a link to look at. Instead you just the quote of what Tom said. For context, there's this kind of anonymous person who does short little interviews with the members of Keane and also keeps up the website and the newsletter. I suspect that that it's actually more than one person, but I have no way of verifying this. Anyway, this is what Tom said which just proves what a tough shit he is.

"8. What is the magic word?
Fuck is a pretty good one. So many possibilities etc."

You see when he says that, you have to remember the type of music Keane records. And then wonder, what did rehab do to him.

A Week

So that's what a week without blogging is like. Hmm...
So this was my last week of secondary education. Most of it was spent thinking "dear god I'm bored" and "shit, shit, shit." I got most everything done that needed to be done this week and haven't touched my clarinet once in the same amount of time. Makes a girl happy, not having to touch one's clarinet. Mind you I have discovered that my left hand is relatively uncoordinated while my right hand laughs and points, because it has mastered the I-IV-I-V-I hand position/transitions. I got my yearbook and scrambled to get everyone I wanted/needed to have sign it sign it. Unfortunately I've been guilted into going to the Senior BBQ which means I'll be spending my Monday night bored out my skull. Oh well, besides graduation this probably the last time I'll see many of these people, so I might as well suck it up.
Let's see what else is there to say? I've decided that after graduation I'm going to say somethings in this journal that I wouldn't have normally said during the school year because I probably won't see a lot of people who could possibly be offended by what I'm going to say...basically there will be a slightly confessional journal entry in the days after graduation because I can. Also I feel like shit for no apparent reason, which annoys me because I like having a reason for feeling like shit. But yeah...I'm basically done with high school. Mwhahahahahhahahaha, now I can be the serial killer I always wanted to be (j/k.)
Recently there has been some news about Blur. Some people might be happy to hear that they'll be going back to the studio this fall. I'm in the minority. I'm in the minority because I think this whole thing is fueled by the not so successful band members (Rowntree, James) who need to accept that they need to move on. Their time has come and gone. I mean look at Oasis. Do you really want to be like them? In any event, I hope Graham keeps his head about him and doesn't give in. Damon has always seemed like the soft type, so I'm not surprised he's doing this, but I really truly hope that Graham doesn't give into David and Alex's requests. Oh, and yes, I am a bitter old woman.
I read this little article awhile and found it amusing in a rather cynical way. You see Patrick Wolf is a British solo artist whose a bit flamboyant and has bright orange hair. His debut CD (at least for us in the States) was rather good, though it had some songs that seemed to go on for a bit too long, but was otherwise good. In any event I always find it amusing when people or bands decide to go "political." I find it particularly amusing when they go political over something that has nothing to do with them, such as the American political situation. Now I realize that with the world we live in, everything affects everyone, so what happens in the States affects someone in the UK almost as much as it affects me, but still. What business is of theirs if the political situation over here is fucked up? Last time I heard (which was quite awhile ago, and wasn't very in depth) the political situation over in the UK wasn't all wine and roses either. So, why not write an album about that, instead of writing an album about the US. We already have people who do that like Neil Young or Nellie McKay. Hell we have Kanye West for Chrissake, we don't need a Brit too.
Editor's Note: The above might make me seem like a conservative quack. I'm not, I just don't like politics and so music that has to do with politics annoys me a bit. I figure if the Beatles didn't see fit to comment on Vietnam, why do all these artists have to comment on nearly everything that is bollocks about politics. Anyway, just remember that I'm not a conservative quack, just a normal loon.
Bleh. I'm seriously thinking about taking a nap even though I've done absolutely jack today. So I'll leave you with this little goody. I swear I've watched that episode of NMTB way too many times and that particular bit always cracks me up. Ryan Jarman is fucking hilarious. And now I'm off.

I'm a Realist

I'm a realist
I'm a romantic
I'm an indecisive piece of shit

I'm a realist
I'm a romantic
I am indecisive and that's about it

and you dream that's the same thing
that's the same life you lead
I don't agree and so you drink
don't wanna think
that's cos your mind is already made up

I'm a realist
I'm a romantic
I'm an indecisive piece of shit

I admit it
I'm up to my old tricks
did you see her eyes (oh no I tried)
she looked surprised

and you dream that's the same thing
that's the same life you lead
I don't agree and so you drink
don't wanna think
that's cos your mind is already made up

how you dream that's the same thing
that's the same life you lead
I don't agree and so you
drink don't wanna think
that's cos your mind is already made up

no

I know that it's only a matter of time
before you know it I'll be leaving town
see it in my eyes
no one will do
no one will ever do

I know that it's only a matter of time
before you know it I'll be leaving town
seen it in your eyes
no one will ever do
no one will ever do for you

Genie of the Toaster

I'm really rather pleased with this, so I hope you enjoy it as well. This is a short story I wrote based on a quote from an episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks. It's about a genie, a toaster, and a girl named Verity. Enjoy!

A response to a quote from an episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks
“I am the genie of the toaster. You have three wishes, providing they are of a toast based nature."
The idea of a toast genie intrigued Verity. She had never heard of such thing but as the toaster stared at her with its toast slits for eyes, she wondered, “What is there to wish for that is of a toast based nature?” As Verity pondered this question, the toast genie wondered how the hell he had gotten himself into this situation. First of all he wasn’t really a genie, just some poor elf that had somehow ended up in this girl’s kitchen. Using the age of old trick of throwing one’s voice, the elf had convinced this girl that he was the “genie of the toaster” or some such nonsense. Thank the gods he had decided on the toaster otherwise he would have been in real trouble because what can one wish for that that is of a toast based nature?
“I want a piece of the best French toast known to man,” Verity proclaimed after about five minutes of awkward silence. The “genie” had convinced himself that the girl wouldn’t ask for anything and that she would just go away. But no, she wanted something called French toast. What the hell was that?
“Also,” Verity continued, “I want a slice of toast with in an egg in the middle like the English do it and I would also like a slice of garlic toast.”
“Oh shit,” thought the elf, “What the hell am I going to do now?” So the elf let the girl stand there for a second before announcing in a very stern and principal-esque manner that…
“Thank you for your call. The genie of the toaster is currently unavailable. Seeing as your call is important to us, please leave a message after the beep and the genie will grant your wish when he gets it. Thank you and have a nice day.”
When Verity’s mother came home that night she found the toaster smashed into lots of little pieces in the kitchen and Verity eating some sort of toast, with a very satisfied grin on her face.