So here's just a little glimpse into the paranoia that dwells in my head:
I have a stats tracker on my Blogger blog that keeps track (surprise, surprise) of everyone who visits my blog. Most people stay for no seconds, but some people stay for a minute or so. I always check those people who stay for a minute or so, just to see where they're from and what parts of my blog they were checking out. Granted the stats tracker isn't too, too in depth, so I really only know what page a person started on and what page they left on. However the other day when I was checking my hit counter (I use Site Meter in case you're wondering) I noticed that someone from my university had been at my blog for one minute and thirteen seconds. That kind of freaked me out I'll be honest, especially considering where they started (Nov. 2008) and ended (this month). I know on the LJ version of this blog there's at least one person from school who reads it (there may be more but they aren't my friend) but outside of that there's no real way to check who the hell is reading my blog. Being all paranoid and stuff, I looked up the IP address I was given by Site Meter. Turns out it was a library computer. Really I just hope whoever was reading my Blogger blog didn't figure out who's writing this. Or doesn't know me and therefore would be unable to figure out who's writing this because there are some people who I would prefer never found out about this blog. I'm weird like that.
28.6.09
26.6.09
Two Weeks of News
Sorry for the long ass break in updates. In an effort to keep my blog emo free I haven't been updating as much. There's been much emoness in the past two weeks (life shattering realizations can kind of make a girl sad) and work has drained me of the rest of my energy. Yes folks, I'm back at WPFW archiving shows for the Minott. Granted there's been a shit ton of craziness happening behind the scenes at WPFW, mostly changes in staff and crazy hooha like that. Still, it's the same thing I did last summer, I'm just not doing it five days a week. Also, I would like to point out that it takes a crazy short amount of time for CNN and tourists to get really frustrating/annoying. CNN has gone from semi-bullshitty to really insane bullshitty in just a year and I blame it on the old media's discovery of social networking sites. As great as Facebook and Twitter are for keeping up to date with friends and family, I don't really trust it for news reporting. It's like relying on The Mirro for accurate news on DW. As for the tourists, it's the same complaints as always: They don't know how to walk up escalators, their kids run wild on the Metro, and they don't know how to share the side walk. I'm all for people visiting the sites in DC and appreciating the history and all that, but for christ's sake I need to get to my stop and you're in my way!
So in an effort to work out a lot of my pent up frustration towards certain people, I've decided to take up kickboxing. I took my first class yesterday and right now I'm so sore I can't move properly. We started the class with six minutes of jump roping (can't do that very well) and ended the class with six minutes of jump roping (really couldn't do that). There were leg squats and push-ups (and explosive push-ups) and jumping jacks and curl-ups and a lot of punching. I didn't feel my abs until early this morning, but the squats were almost immediate. Really, everything is just incredibly sore. And I'll be doing it all over again on Tuesday. I've gone crazy obviously.
So in an effort to work out a lot of my pent up frustration towards certain people, I've decided to take up kickboxing. I took my first class yesterday and right now I'm so sore I can't move properly. We started the class with six minutes of jump roping (can't do that very well) and ended the class with six minutes of jump roping (really couldn't do that). There were leg squats and push-ups (and explosive push-ups) and jumping jacks and curl-ups and a lot of punching. I didn't feel my abs until early this morning, but the squats were almost immediate. Really, everything is just incredibly sore. And I'll be doing it all over again on Tuesday. I've gone crazy obviously.
12.6.09
Money, Sex...Cat
Well it seems that the pop culture juggernaut known as Twilight has finally lured me into its evil trap. Yes folks, I watched it and am still laughing. The great thing is that I took notes! So here they are, incoherant and not always in complete sentences.
- awful voice overs
- they're suppose to be in high school? all of them? seriously?
- awful emoness acting makes me sad
- robert pattinson, not so bad though, still laughable, but not as bad as kristen stewart
- oh god the contacts of doom!
- we are made of wood...balsa wood
- "you don't say hi to me"...or make eye contact
- this dialogue is amazing...ly awful and stilted, except for robert b/c he can act kind of
- edward: over protective stalker/psycho
- can't decide if this is more or less ridiculous than logan's run
- "money, sex, money, sex...cat"
- how do you grow up and not know about vampires? seriously? i mean they have one on seasame street for christ's sake
- not only does this movie hurt my soul, but the music hurts my soul too
- pattison can't always keep control of his american accent, and it's so cute when he slips :D
- "here comes the human!"
- jasper is constipated
- normal couples don't try and dance to claire de lune [because it's basically impossible, given that there's no clear beat or time signature, and I'm fairly certain it's in some weird time signature anyway]
- well that was creepy as fuck [Edward suddenly appearing in Bella's room for longer than two seconds]
- characters i like: dad, evil vampires (aka the people i'm not suppose to like)
- no! not muse, don't use muse during a baseball game!
- competitive vampire baseball: much cooler than normal baseball
- yay mormon doctor!
- i can't be bothered, this movie is too stupid
- i hope they pay for the damages done to that studio
- while edward sucks out the venom in the backgroud: yay fire! yay fire!
- i can't finish my sentences either! not only can't i leave you, i can't...i can't...:acts all flustered:
- prom? seriously? god this movie...can't finish the sentence
- they really can't dance, can they...:sigh: it's like the end of logan's run: stupid and pointless
- pattison's earnestness makes this whole thing so much more painful
- nice ending though (love the evil vampires)
8.6.09
Honey, I'm BAAAAAAAAACK
So technically speaking it's between three weeks since my last non-emo update. I do realize that's a bit of a lie (I mean when was the last time I wasn't being seriously emo? I can't remember is the correct answer), but we're going to go with that standard because if I was to be honest it's been...well it's been a very long time since I wasn't at least mildly emo. So now for some non-emo-ness, I promise.
Header 1: University of Westminster Might Actually Happen :D
So since the last proper post on this blog, I arranged a meeting with IAS and spoke with the head of the program this past Thursday. Turns out his biggest concern was the fact that I mentioned that I was depressed. Once he found out it was over a boy (yet another grown man telling me what asses men are) he wasn't so concerned. Didn't mention that I'm going into therapy partially because of said boy, nor did I mention the fact that I have SAD, but I actually know how to handle SAD so I'm not too concerned at the moment. I was mostly just really relieved to hear that Mr. Musick (I kid you not) is more than willing to step up to bat for me and seems really positive that I'll be accepted. Of course all of this means that I can now start worrying about the application process and writing 300 to 500 words about "why I wish to join the Study Abroad Programme." :sigh: My life can be so difficult at times ;)
Header 2: Dear God, I Have All This News
So in the weeks since I went on hiatus, I've been collecting news articles like a bandit. This is mostly because some really interesting news has cropped up that I wish to comment on, and even though I'm going to be recording a demo show (for U of W, don't ya know) using most of these articles, I feel I should point them out for you, my wonderful readers. So here we go:
Blur announce that they're planning US and European dates for some time in the future. While I'm not exactly "for" this whole Blur reuniting thing, if they do come to the US, I will pay exorbitant amounts of money to see them. I'm hypocritical and crazy like that.
Americans will actually get to see the Doctor Who specials before they become redundant. BBC America has finally gotten the rights to DW, which means I'll actually get to rewatch the already aired specials, and probably see the unaired ones too, before I'm fifty, which is really good. I'm also very excited about new Torchwood and all of this being aired around the same time. My brain may explode, but it will be from dorky happiness instead of sad insanity.
In another piece of Blur related news, the band will be coming out with a Blur primer for the uninitiated. I'm pretty sure I could download most, if not all, of the tracks mentioned from Zune from their original albums and have the same experience as buying the compilation. Still, it's a nice way for the timid to get to know the band while also potentially earning the band a nice chunk of change. Yay capitalism.
For some inexplicable reason, the tabloids thought that the Kaiser Chiefs were being dropped by their label. This is not true, obviously. I'm fairly certain t'Chiefs are the biggest name on the B-Unique label and dropping them would be more than idiotic. However I am very pleased to hear that Whitey is going to be a dad. I don't know why that makes me happy, but it does.
I'm not really into video games. I don't have the right kind of coordination for it. However, I love Guitar Hero and Rock Band, so we all know that I'm going to want the latest version of Guitar Hero. And not just because it has The Arctic Monkeys, Blur, Muse, Kaiser Chiefs, the Killers, and David Bowie. No I want it because it has Coldplay ;D
Speaking of the Arctic Monkeys, they're going to be releasing an album soonish. In fact it's going to be released on the second day of school (also known as August 25th.) I'm very pleased, to say the least, since it's been a really long f-ing time since they released an album and I miss being able to mercilessly mock them for being obvious award bait. That's all I can say about that really. Though I hope Sean "Puffy, whatever the hell his latest nickname is" Combs doesn't have any actual involvement. There have been rumours ya know.
Finally, the Cribs will eventually be releasing an album, in my estimation this winter, based on how long it's taken them to record the damn thing, and Ashes to Ashes has been renewed for another series/season which makes me very happy since I never want it to end.
Header 3: All the Strange Things I've Watched in the Past Month
Since I've had way too much free time on my hands since coming home from school (way, waaaaaay too much free time) I've taken it upon myself to watch some movies/shows that I feel I need to see before I die. Hence why I've watched all of Life on Mars and Logan's Run. By the way, if you've ever thought "hey, Michael York was pretty good in that Three Musketeers movie, I should watch Logan's Run", don't. It's awful and an hour too long. However it's so incredibly bad that it's good in a weird way. But still an hour too long.
Another one of the movies I've watched recently is The Shining. My dad is a huge fan of Stanley Kubrick and so I kind of automatically assumed he would love The Shining. Not so much. Mum likes and Sophs hasn't actually seen it all the way through, which I found to be kind of odd since she's the cinephile of the family. I really liked the film though, mostly because it's allowed me to introduce a new strange mannerism into my conversations: Tony (aka Danny's imaginary friend). Of all the strange and wonderfully over used imagery The Shining has given the world, I'm really surprised no one has picked up on Tony. I think that was my favourite part of the entire movie. I'm just sad I already knew all the twists and scary bits (thanks pop culture) and none of it phased me really. Except Tony. Tony was great :D
So that's it. Set lists for Cake and the White Rabbits will be up as soon as I've figured out all the song titles.
Header 1: University of Westminster Might Actually Happen :D
So since the last proper post on this blog, I arranged a meeting with IAS and spoke with the head of the program this past Thursday. Turns out his biggest concern was the fact that I mentioned that I was depressed. Once he found out it was over a boy (yet another grown man telling me what asses men are) he wasn't so concerned. Didn't mention that I'm going into therapy partially because of said boy, nor did I mention the fact that I have SAD, but I actually know how to handle SAD so I'm not too concerned at the moment. I was mostly just really relieved to hear that Mr. Musick (I kid you not) is more than willing to step up to bat for me and seems really positive that I'll be accepted. Of course all of this means that I can now start worrying about the application process and writing 300 to 500 words about "why I wish to join the Study Abroad Programme." :sigh: My life can be so difficult at times ;)
Header 2: Dear God, I Have All This News
So in the weeks since I went on hiatus, I've been collecting news articles like a bandit. This is mostly because some really interesting news has cropped up that I wish to comment on, and even though I'm going to be recording a demo show (for U of W, don't ya know) using most of these articles, I feel I should point them out for you, my wonderful readers. So here we go:
Blur announce that they're planning US and European dates for some time in the future. While I'm not exactly "for" this whole Blur reuniting thing, if they do come to the US, I will pay exorbitant amounts of money to see them. I'm hypocritical and crazy like that.
Americans will actually get to see the Doctor Who specials before they become redundant. BBC America has finally gotten the rights to DW, which means I'll actually get to rewatch the already aired specials, and probably see the unaired ones too, before I'm fifty, which is really good. I'm also very excited about new Torchwood and all of this being aired around the same time. My brain may explode, but it will be from dorky happiness instead of sad insanity.
In another piece of Blur related news, the band will be coming out with a Blur primer for the uninitiated. I'm pretty sure I could download most, if not all, of the tracks mentioned from Zune from their original albums and have the same experience as buying the compilation. Still, it's a nice way for the timid to get to know the band while also potentially earning the band a nice chunk of change. Yay capitalism.
For some inexplicable reason, the tabloids thought that the Kaiser Chiefs were being dropped by their label. This is not true, obviously. I'm fairly certain t'Chiefs are the biggest name on the B-Unique label and dropping them would be more than idiotic. However I am very pleased to hear that Whitey is going to be a dad. I don't know why that makes me happy, but it does.
I'm not really into video games. I don't have the right kind of coordination for it. However, I love Guitar Hero and Rock Band, so we all know that I'm going to want the latest version of Guitar Hero. And not just because it has The Arctic Monkeys, Blur, Muse, Kaiser Chiefs, the Killers, and David Bowie. No I want it because it has Coldplay ;D
Speaking of the Arctic Monkeys, they're going to be releasing an album soonish. In fact it's going to be released on the second day of school (also known as August 25th.) I'm very pleased, to say the least, since it's been a really long f-ing time since they released an album and I miss being able to mercilessly mock them for being obvious award bait. That's all I can say about that really. Though I hope Sean "Puffy, whatever the hell his latest nickname is" Combs doesn't have any actual involvement. There have been rumours ya know.
Finally, the Cribs will eventually be releasing an album, in my estimation this winter, based on how long it's taken them to record the damn thing, and Ashes to Ashes has been renewed for another series/season which makes me very happy since I never want it to end.
Header 3: All the Strange Things I've Watched in the Past Month
Since I've had way too much free time on my hands since coming home from school (way, waaaaaay too much free time) I've taken it upon myself to watch some movies/shows that I feel I need to see before I die. Hence why I've watched all of Life on Mars and Logan's Run. By the way, if you've ever thought "hey, Michael York was pretty good in that Three Musketeers movie, I should watch Logan's Run", don't. It's awful and an hour too long. However it's so incredibly bad that it's good in a weird way. But still an hour too long.
Another one of the movies I've watched recently is The Shining. My dad is a huge fan of Stanley Kubrick and so I kind of automatically assumed he would love The Shining. Not so much. Mum likes and Sophs hasn't actually seen it all the way through, which I found to be kind of odd since she's the cinephile of the family. I really liked the film though, mostly because it's allowed me to introduce a new strange mannerism into my conversations: Tony (aka Danny's imaginary friend). Of all the strange and wonderfully over used imagery The Shining has given the world, I'm really surprised no one has picked up on Tony. I think that was my favourite part of the entire movie. I'm just sad I already knew all the twists and scary bits (thanks pop culture) and none of it phased me really. Except Tony. Tony was great :D
So that's it. Set lists for Cake and the White Rabbits will be up as soon as I've figured out all the song titles.
1.6.09
This Is Not a Come Back
This is just the desperate need to rant like a mofo.
This is a very long story. It starts with my mum's near mental break down last fall and her going back into therapy. Actually, it started well before then, but the less time I have to cover the better. Anyway, after my mum started seeing a shrink again something rather important came to light: My grandmother probably irreparably fucked my mum up by being a narcissist. Now I'm not saying this lightly or in any kind of jest. My grandmother's a narcissist and being the child of a narcissist does some pretty fucked up shit to your psyche. You can become a narcissist or, like my mum, constantly need to please everyone and be perfect. Obviously there are other ways to deal with your mother being a narcissist, but that was how my mum dealt with it and why she nearly had a mental breakdown last fall. However by discovering and working through the issues that arise from discovering that your mother is a narcissist, my mum also figured out something I've known for 3 years or so: my dad's a completely needy self-centred ass. He's not a narcissist, but pretty damn close. He's also a hypocrite but that has less to do with being a needy self-centred ass and more do with his parents and having socialists sympathies while also being a really good corporate lawyer (yeah, he's just even more fucked up than my mum and that's not easy to be.)
Because dad's a needy self-centred bastard and mum is trying to be her own person, there's been a shitload of tension in the house recently. Now I've had my issues with dad for quite awhile, but I've been completely alone in my beliefs that he's a hypocritical needy ass. On the other hand Sophs (the sister who's dad's favourite) thinks mum (now that she's "seen the light") and I are just complete bitches who don't understand dad and need to get off our high horses (or at least that's the vibe I'm getting.) Now I've seen a divide in this house since, well for as long as I've known that my dad's just a complete ass. There are those of us who express our emotions and opinions (me and mum) and those of us who bottle it up and then go all ragey-mcrage when it gets to be too much (dad and Sophs.) [Apologies for the random linkage, I had a drink and I really can't hold my liquor] However I might have exasperated that divide tonight by basically saying that Sophs was on dad's side and against mum, to Sophs. Granted I was pushed by Sophs into saying that after she said some shit about getting out of this house, but I regret having opened my mouth anyway. It just makes things more complicated than necessary and they're already complicated enough as it is. However I'll be working through all this starting next week with a psychologist (actually just a social worker, but that's good enough given the circs) other than Farber (the creepy, creepy old man*.) I might also get to work out my pent up issues with the buttmuncher (otherwise known as the ex) which I'm happy for. The long and short of all this is as follows: Narcissism fucks with everything and Nora from A Doll's House is in no way a narcissist. A real narcissist would never have married someone like Torvald. 0_o
:sigh: Hopefully The IT Crowd will come tomorrow and I can spend all day just watching that. Or something.
*When I was still dating the buttmuncher, mum saw Farber at the pysch office and told him that I had a boyfriend. He was extremely pleased because he thought I was using him as some sort of replacement for a real boyfriend. I've been creeped out ever since I can't see him any more. Unfortunately my new therapist works at the same place Farber does, so there's a pretty good chance I'll see him. And crush his ego. But when I tried to talk to him last summer about my dad issues he blew them off and kept pushing me to get a boyfriend. And we all know how well that worked out. So he'll just have to deal.
This is a very long story. It starts with my mum's near mental break down last fall and her going back into therapy. Actually, it started well before then, but the less time I have to cover the better. Anyway, after my mum started seeing a shrink again something rather important came to light: My grandmother probably irreparably fucked my mum up by being a narcissist. Now I'm not saying this lightly or in any kind of jest. My grandmother's a narcissist and being the child of a narcissist does some pretty fucked up shit to your psyche. You can become a narcissist or, like my mum, constantly need to please everyone and be perfect. Obviously there are other ways to deal with your mother being a narcissist, but that was how my mum dealt with it and why she nearly had a mental breakdown last fall. However by discovering and working through the issues that arise from discovering that your mother is a narcissist, my mum also figured out something I've known for 3 years or so: my dad's a completely needy self-centred ass. He's not a narcissist, but pretty damn close. He's also a hypocrite but that has less to do with being a needy self-centred ass and more do with his parents and having socialists sympathies while also being a really good corporate lawyer (yeah, he's just even more fucked up than my mum and that's not easy to be.)
Because dad's a needy self-centred bastard and mum is trying to be her own person, there's been a shitload of tension in the house recently. Now I've had my issues with dad for quite awhile, but I've been completely alone in my beliefs that he's a hypocritical needy ass. On the other hand Sophs (the sister who's dad's favourite) thinks mum (now that she's "seen the light") and I are just complete bitches who don't understand dad and need to get off our high horses (or at least that's the vibe I'm getting.) Now I've seen a divide in this house since, well for as long as I've known that my dad's just a complete ass. There are those of us who express our emotions and opinions (me and mum) and those of us who bottle it up and then go all ragey-mcrage when it gets to be too much (dad and Sophs.) [Apologies for the random linkage, I had a drink and I really can't hold my liquor] However I might have exasperated that divide tonight by basically saying that Sophs was on dad's side and against mum, to Sophs. Granted I was pushed by Sophs into saying that after she said some shit about getting out of this house, but I regret having opened my mouth anyway. It just makes things more complicated than necessary and they're already complicated enough as it is. However I'll be working through all this starting next week with a psychologist (actually just a social worker, but that's good enough given the circs) other than Farber (the creepy, creepy old man*.) I might also get to work out my pent up issues with the buttmuncher (otherwise known as the ex) which I'm happy for. The long and short of all this is as follows: Narcissism fucks with everything and Nora from A Doll's House is in no way a narcissist. A real narcissist would never have married someone like Torvald. 0_o
:sigh: Hopefully The IT Crowd will come tomorrow and I can spend all day just watching that. Or something.
*When I was still dating the buttmuncher, mum saw Farber at the pysch office and told him that I had a boyfriend. He was extremely pleased because he thought I was using him as some sort of replacement for a real boyfriend. I've been creeped out ever since I can't see him any more. Unfortunately my new therapist works at the same place Farber does, so there's a pretty good chance I'll see him. And crush his ego. But when I tried to talk to him last summer about my dad issues he blew them off and kept pushing me to get a boyfriend. And we all know how well that worked out. So he'll just have to deal.
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