Nerves and Palms

6 days till school starts. I' m wondering whether I should wear boots the first day, though that seems rather stupid. Probably better off wearing my clogs. I'm not really nervous yet, just in disbelief that school is starting so soon. I'm sure by Monday I'll be in a panic, and Tuesday morning I won't be awake enough to be in a panic. God I'll barely be awake enough to remember my preordained outfit. Also, I won't have my mp3 to save me. Ah well. I just can't believe it.
My palms are getting sweaty. I must be nervous.
I wish I could get sick right now. If I became sick then I wouldn't have to go to marching band. Well, I would have to go, but I wouldn't have to march. Maybe I could somehow break my arm in the next 15 minutes. Yeah. :rolls eyes: I'm so pathetic. But can you really blame me? Marching band sucks and anyone who says otherwize is a complete looney. :sigh: I guess I shouldn't complain. That only makes the whole thing worse.
I may get nervous about school, but it will defininatly be a much needed relief. No longer will I have to find ways to entertain myself!! Nay I will forced to work arduous hours to appease the homework gods with nary a break. What a relief from the tedium that is August.
Sing loud, listen long, read much, smile often. Thats what I say.


I officially declare insanity

I officially declare insanity. I honestly think I’ve gone over the edge of fangirl-dom into shear madness. Last night was amazing (if slightly disappointing) and I’m getting so pumped up about October, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to handle school. I mean there’s the concert (Foo Fighters, Weezer, t’Chiefs) and the new Franzie cd that month. God I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it. That’s why I’m declaring myself insane until then. After October I think I’ll be okay. Until then, I think I’ll be crazy.
I’m suppose to be doing my English. The whole first part though is retyping these passages, which is incredibly dull. So to fight this off I have t’Chiefs on. After t’Chiefs I will listen to the Killers. I’m not entirely sure if I’ll watch the VMAs, but I’m pretty sure I will. I’m just that devoted. :sigh: I can’t wait till school starts.

Keane on SNL

:thinks: This is a repeat. A goddamn fucking repeat of fucking SNL. :slumps: Stupid weekend update making me think this was live. Then again maybe I'm just not very smart. :thinks: I think it's that yeah.
1st song: Simple Thing
Tom always wears black. I don't think he's ever worn anything else when he performs. May haps he's making up for his purple pants incident? Tom in purple pants. So yeah. Gorgeous, gorgeous, even in purple pants. (credit to curlyheadgt at livejournal)
2nd song: Everbody's Changing
Love, ah what a word.
(P.S.-fucking hour and half to hear/see them for 6ish minutes. Well worth it, but still, long time)


Keane in 4 minutes (SNL)

I'm going to watch Keane, and then I'm going to die. I'll die an incredibly happy woman and will never ever have to deal with high school or college or falling in love or Dr. Farber. Yes I will be completely happy, so I'll be able to die. :sigh: Oh I do love Tom so much.
Like the layout?



:sigh: Is there such a thing as too much music?
I'm not sure what to write about. I have the whole night to myself (which I hate) and I don't know what I want to do. My best idea is to listen to all my favorite cds and fill the house with noise so I don't feel so lonely, cuz I don't really want to watch a movie. Or at least if I watch a movie I'll still feel lonely.
I feel lonely when I'm by myself for one reason. Stuart Hall. Spending so much time by myself there has left me with a big need to never be alone again. It's not that I want to be social, I just don't want to be (etre) without people.
I feel incoherant right now. I'm terribly sorry I haven't been updating. I don't really have the time though. I'm either at band or sleeping because of band. I don't have that much time basically. It makes me sad, but honestly who reads this? NO ONE.
:sigh: My best friends are make believe and my love life is a fantasy. I don't think thats sad do you?


Mark time Mark

Today begins my second week of band camp. Thank Bob I don't have to go in the morning this week!
So far I have burned my back to nice dark tan, lost complete faith in the musicality of people, practically cried and found my new John. Much like the band I'm way ahead of schedule compared to last year. I mean I was still in the mindset that nothing could go wrong last year and this year I'm almost as pessimistic as I was in mid-September of last year. Yay!
On the other hand my dissent into school paranoia has been stopped. Most of that energy is being taken up in hating marching band and all that it stands for. Sadly even that energy isn't enough to keep me from not being able to keep my eyes open if I don't take a nap in between the morning session and the afternoon session. :nods sagely: Oh the loathing is deep.
In other good news I have heard the new single from the new Franzie cd. :claps: Much goodness mes copains. Of course it's totally illegal and I'm now going to be arrested. :waits: Yeah.

Also I have finished 2/3 of my summer assignments. Considering how there are 3 (essentially) thats pretty damn hot. Hopefully the history essay isn't too snarky. I'm a little worried about that. But nonetheless I am very happy to be done with that. Now all I have left is a little more Gatsby annotating and I'll be all ready for school.
Oh one last thing. That whole thingy about not seeing Dr. Farber is now complete bs. Mums talked to him last Thursday and well...he's too damn smart! Convinced the pants off of her so I'm going to continue to see the head shrinker. Guess it's not so bad. :shrugs:
"Hi Loghman! Why no I'm not trying to hide from all these people, you're crazy."


Caffeine and Bouncy Music

I'm getting the distinct feeling that I'm going to need a lot of caffeine and that I won't be able to listen to Keane. That "Marvin mood" I was talking about the other day has been lurking around far longer than I wanted. So, the best remedy I have is to listen to incredibly bouncy music and have lots of caffeine to keep my energy up. I can't quite put my finger on the cause of the Marvin mood but I'm fairly sure it has something to do with the impending weeks.
To start off with I have a week at the beach avec ma mere's famille. It's not that I hate these guys, it's just...well they annoy the crap out of me if I spend too much time with them. So what should have been my last week of vacation is turning out to be a week of hermiting with my Dad. To say the least, this is not how I like to spend a week at the beach. Hopefully though, things won't turn out too badly and all this ill feeling will be for not.
Then of course we have marching band. :scowls: Yes starting a week from Monday I'm going to be counting down the days till November when the band's "Tag Day" concert is, and when marching band season officially ends. I think this year will be particularly painful because the music annoys me so much. I mean by the time school started last year, I hated marching band. And last year we did "West Side Story" a musically I really like. So just imagine going into this with a deep dislike of the music. Torture my friends, torture.

So marching band starts about 3 weeks before school. Thinking about marching band makes me think about school. Despite the fact that I really have nothing to fear, I'm still kind of scared of school this year. Thankfully my fears have moved from academic to social. See, I'm use to being afraid of the social part of school. This I can handle in some manner. I guess really I'm not afraid so much as nervous. There are certain people (Loghman, Marshall) who I really want to be in my class(es) this upcoming year. And then there are the people (Alec, Miles) who I really don't want in my classes this year, and because of the sort of non-traditional set of classes I'm taking (regular physics, 10th grade p.e., not foreign language) there's a very good chance the aformentioned people could be and could not be in my classes. I'm just very worried about the social aspect of my school life this year, and of course the old "falling into bad habits" thing. That definantly worries me.
:sigh: The one thing I have to look forward to is the new Franzie cd. It comes out in October and the single is set for release on Sept. 19. I have that to look forward to and possibly the new Killers cd sometime in the winter/early spring. Plus there's English this year. Amazingly enough I'm really looking forward to that. Ever since I decided that I want to be an English major I've been looking forward to whatever English holds for me this year. :nods: I have a couple of things to look forward to.
"This fire is out of control..."-This Fire, Franzie
Edit: Something I didn't mention when I orginally posted this entry was the fact that I won't be seeing Dr. Farber anymore. It's for the best, but still something like this makes one worry. How will he react? How will I do without seeing him? :sigh: It makes me worry. Thats probably the biggest worry, and something I have no control over. To a certain extent I have control over some of what is bogging me down, but this I can do nothing about. Big decisions make me worry. And to say the least, this is a big decision.


Stupid Franzie

This makes me mad. I forget which album, but the Beatles did a song called "This Boy." Oh wait it's on Past Masters 1. I love that song. Johnny boy sings, and damn if he doesn't sound passionate. Stupid franzie. Couldn't they have named their song something else? I mean really.
Alright, thats all for now. I have to calm myself down.