7.2.06

Beating the World

For the past week I have been running mainly on nerves and adrenaline. I'm honestly surprised I've been able to do anything at all but somehow I made it. Today though was a particularly bad day for my nerves and nervous system. But I'll get to that a bit later. Right now I'd like to explain the build up to today.
So I knew this was going to happen. Class sign ups. It happens around the beginning of 3rd quarter and last year was a complete nightmare for me. This year I only had a couple of things to worry about. 1) Getting Ms. Young (chorus director) to audition me and 2) insuring Mr. Fore didn't find out about 1. There were other things looming over me though that were causing more stress. For instance, the fact that I spent most of 2nd quarter utterly apathetic to anything that wasn't history, english or math. Which is about 4 classes or more accurately 3 classes. I couldn't screw up band. And let me tell you, I did screw up those other 3 classes. Mind you I wasn't failing anything but I didn't get the grades I wanted. So along with a not so great report card and class sign ups was the fact that I still hadn't talked to Mr. Sharp. I really needed to talk to him. I'm barely getting by in his class (math) with a D+. Not exciting.
So today I was a bundle of loose ends and unhappy feelings. Things started going well almost immediately. Mr. Louie my physics teacher signed off on me taking IB Bio which means that I have all my IB classes accounted for and no having to argue with Mrs. Stewart!!! Then came the dreaded math class. I felt semi-ill throughout most of the class. Finally during lunch I got up the nerve to talk to Mr. Sharp. He was disappointed that I'm not taking math next year (yay!! I'm not taking math next year!!!) but was otherwize unhelpful in my main issue which is his tests. I've made the semi-executive decision that what I'm going to do is go in before a test and ask him random questions. Not like "why is the sky blue" random but more like "can I do this? Would doing this work just as well as doing the other thing." Hopefully that will help along with being more questionary in class. I'm not entirely excited about that, but I need/want to do well in this class. Finally I got to music, didn't kill anyone during my presentation then trotted over to Ms. Young's room while silently panicking over whether or not I should bail. Thankfully I didn't bail and got her to sign the little recommendation sheet thing so Mrs. Stewart won't stare at me on Friday. Auditions are actually in early April but I feel fairly confident in my singing abilities and there's plenty of time for me to brush up on some repetoire (read jazz standards) before the audition.
For the first time in a long while my shoulders don't feel tense. I'm tired because I no longer have adrenaline pumping through my system keeping me uptight and awake. I fucking beat the world today. Hope I can keep it up.

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