God I feel depressed. Thus making it hard to write anything at all. But if I don't do this, I won't and thus the great and interesting Beatles news would never be reported by yours truly. So here it is!
First up we have the degree I always wanted thanks to the Liverpool Hope University: the first Beatles-related MA. Yeah that's right, people some very lucky people get to spend x number of years getting a Master's on the Beatles. Needless to say, if the whole radio thing doesn't work out, I'm going to be applying for that program. Hell, I'd apply right now if I could. Sadly, still need that BA.
I need a new best friend who has Rock Band. You know why? Because there's a Beatles version being released next fall. Either that or I'm going to buy it myself and donate it to the Washroom so I can play on their console all the time. Yeah, that Beatles obsession never really went away, it's just laying dormant for now. Mwhahahahaha!!
Well I'm glad I did that. First time in months I've done something like this. Doesn't necessarily make me feel better, but at least I did it. And there's something to be said for doing something even though you don't really feel like it because you don't feel like doing a damn thing. I could say why I'm feeling this way, but...I feel like I'm being overly dramatic about the whole thing (42 guesses as to what I'm referring to, first person to get it gets virtual cookies). I mean I've never been through something like this and so I don't have any real reference as to how long the healing process should take or whether I'm just being a drama queen. It's just...difficult. He's not evil like Miles and so I feel I can't be angry or upset with him or turn into a villian, but I so want to. I want to turn him into this evil schmuck (what a great word) so I can vindicate all the things I'm feeling because if he's evil than I deserve to feel them. But he's not and so because of that I feel like I'm not allowed to feel the way I do. Angry, betrayed, upset, hurt, confused, etc, etc. I keep wanting to go up to people and ask them how I'm suppose to handle this, how am I suppose to move past this, but I can't because a) that would be really weird and b) most of the people I want to ask are in no way neutral. I feel like at this point I should have moved on, I should be over this, but I'm not and I have no idea when and that's nearly as frustrating because I don't want to feel this way any more. I don't want my chest to clench every time he updates on Facebook, I don't want to be terrified that I'll see him on campus, I don't want a thousand little things to remind me of him. I hate this. But I can't seem to move on. I can't seem to let go. And the worst part is I don't know if it's me, my psychology, or if this is just how these things work. I feel as lost as I did when this whole thing started and I'm still asking the same question: Why can't there be a blue print? I would really like one right now.
So much for not talking about this.
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