Applescrufs

Apple scrufs. Claymates. Victims. Chiefs and Chiefettes. Rabid fans. Fanatics. Just a few words that describe the hopelessly devoted. We listen to every single, cling to every quote and pray that our idol(s) will come to an arena/club/theater nearby. We crave them, learn everything we can about them. I personally make it my mission to know everyone's name in the group and what instrument they play, so I will never be confused. We make up cute nicknames (at least I do) and refer to them by first name, as they're our best friends. Some mock us, but the bands ultimately appreciate us. We give them votes and money. Yes, it is sort of depressing fans have with their idols. The idols love us for our devotion, no matter how horriblly they act, no matter how crappy their music gets, and we love them in turn for breathing, smiling, singing, beating on drums etc. In the end though each camp benefits. The fans give the stars their stardom, and the fans get something to enjoy. Not a perfect relationship, but one that has been going on for decades now. I'm just glad to be a part of it.
I'm in a relatively good mood today. Wish I felt better, but then again Sundays weren't made to be wonderful days. I'm actually feeling very blah-ish, but then there hasn't been a day in the past month or so where that hasn't been true. I know I'm depressed, but it's the kind of depression I've felt for so long that it doesn't faze, doesn't feel weird. It's my reaction to stress. I'm glad though that I'm not at Stu. Somehow I think things would be worse if I weren't here. I know for a fact I'd be eating a pizza right now, all by myself thank you very much. I won't look back, I know I can't. I don't have the energy to save anyone anymore. I'm using all my extra energy trying to save myself and I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it. I'm starting to ramble so I'll move on.
I've applied for my first job. I applied to be a sales clerk at Books-A-Million today. The nice cashier guy said he would give it to the manager and that I'd here from him in a few days. The place was pratically deserted, but then again it is Memorial Day weekend. Maybe its busier during the week. Anyway, I'm very excited and I really, really, hope I get hired. Wish me luck mes copains!!