Another Five

Since I've been lacking in the update department I thought I would do the Friday Five thing again. Needless to say I'm sorry about the past week or so. Life's been slightly hellish especially this week. Mr. Fore has completely gone off his rocker, I had a somewhat major project due in physics that was a bitch times 1 million (ever built a Rube Goldberg project?), I have Districts tomorrow which is Mr. Fore up the wazoo (aka hell) and I've just been so tired. Ugh. Anyway there are some upsides. I'm doing something with Jackie tomorrow night and the choir is performing on Sunday. Other stuff has been happening but I'll write about it after I do the five. It mostly has to do with Loghman. But for now I'll just answer these questions.

1) 10 years ago what did you think you would be doing now?
No. 10 years ago I still lived in DC and didn't think I would be leaving anytime soon. Though by this point we had put our house up for sale. But no, I didn't think I would be where I am now. I don't think anyone did.
2) Where do you think you will be in 5 years from now?
Hopefully in college. Hopefully at Hollins. But honestly I can't say for sure. It's odd how things can change in the weirdest ways and you end up at places and in situations you never think you'd be in. So, hopefully at college.
3) Do you live life one day at a time or look to the future?
A mix of both. Due to my precarious grade situation I have to think ahead a certain amount but I feel like if I look to far ahead I loose sight of what I want now and to me what I want now is far more important than what I'll want in 5, 10 years. Though it all impacts the other so I guess it has to be a mix. Not soley one view point over another. Life is to complicated for black and white. Besides gray is a pretty color.
4) Do you wish you could go back in time and undo something in your life?
Yes and no. I wish I had spoken up sooner than two years ago about my depression but it's hard to say what the impact would have been. I'm happy where I am and if going back and fixing my mistakes would put me in any other situation I wouldn't do it.
5) If you could send a message back in time and give a younger version of yourself some advice, what would it be?
Listen to Franz Ferdinand. Don't be tempted by the vending machines. And that's about it really. Oh and talk to Mums about being depressed.

Right. Loghman. How do I explain this? Loghman is a really good friend of mine. In fact he's one of my best friends I would say. He's from Iran and is Kurdish. He gets straight A's in every class and will bemoan any grade less than an A within an inch of my life. He's extremely polite and reads non-fiction. He puts up with my eccentricities very nicely and even vaguely remembers a couple of the bands I like. In general he's a really nice guy even if he does get on my nerves sometimes. Thing is he's been sending really obvious to anyone with half a brain signals that he likes me. As in ask me out boyfriend-girlfriend likes me. And I really don't feel that way. I think he's great and is really nice and all that good stuff but I can't see myself being with him. But I have a whole brain and so I've been getting his signals loud and clear. Now I'm no great Casanova or anything but I'm polite. I'm nice to him and I don't mind telling him stuff. I'll listen to him moan about his B's while I silently wring his neck for complaining and I'll reassure him repeatedly until I die from a nervous breakdown that he's a highly qualified student and that any college would love to have him in their student body. But on Wendsday when he let me wear his coat because I was cold a little alarm went off in my head. The alarm quietly poked at me saying "This getting serious. This isn't just being a good friend. This is getting serious." So, for me, it's awkward. Really awkward. And now I'm stuck. Oddly, I never thought I'd be in this position. So what do I do? Nod my head when Farber asks me if I'm sending signals and silently freak out about the possiblity of him asking me out. Though Dr. Farber would be really happy if I had a boyfriend. But its my life and...I guess we'll see.