- Guillemots
- Jenny Lewis
- Arctic Monkeys
- Morrissey
Guillemots
If anyone actually took the time to read my journal the might realize that I'm highly obsessed with music and that I don't care about naming people. For the most part I use my friends real names mostly because I can't take the time to think up new names for them and probably wouldn't remember the new names anyway. But because I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm not actually writing about music but about my friends and sensitive issues concerning my friends, today I'll just be using just the first letter of their names. You see recently (last night) I've come to the realization that I am to my friends now what I've always been to my friends: A pair of ears. They seem to care very little about my feelings and even less about my interests. They only seem to put up with my interests before they move onto whatever it is they want to talk about. The reason I've only just realized this is because I tend not to push my interests because I realize that I'm the only person who actually knows what I'm talking about. The thing is that my friends want me to be someone I don't want to be and they find that incredibly frustrating. The whole situation from last night made me realize how very different I am from my friends and that there is nothing to be done about it.
Jenny Lewis
J has a fierce personality and she doesn't really give a shit what other people think about it. She just does what she wants, with very little constraints and almost no regard for the consequences of her actions and words. So, in turn, she doesn't realize how very often I come to wanting to screaming at her to shut the fuck up. J just has no sense of how aggravating she can be or how very wrong her impression of me is. She thinks I have no back bone because I don't like calling people and because I don't push my views and opinions on other people. Now I may not be the most outgoing of people, but continually telling me to "man up" and pushing her view of how I should be isn't going to get her anywhere and just guarantees that come this fall she'll be out of my life is a quickly as possible. And the most frustrating part for me is that I know she doesn't see and wouldn't understand any of this. She just wouldn't.
Arctic Monkeys
Oh A. Perfectly naive and innocent A. He thinks I don't know anything because I don't know that much about sex, drugs, and booze, but he doesn't even know the half of it. He thinks that because I don't laugh at stupid jokes and don't revel in previously mentioned topics I'm uptight and need to loosen up. If I don't laugh at sex joke it's because I don't think it's funny. What annoys me about A though is that there are times when he seems to be more than stupid jokes and lude innuendos. I wish he would show that side more than the side I so often see. Maybe once he gets away from J (who seems to be the driving force in any conversation, ever) he'll start maturing a bit, but who knows. I guess he just who he is. All I hope is that he realizes sooner rather than later that there's more to me than he thinks there is.
Morrissey
In the end none of this matter and things will be just what they are, for better or worse. I have my complaints but there's really nothing I can do to change the people around me and so I'll just have to live with what I have at the moment. I know that there are people out there more like me and eventually I might get to meet those people but for now I just have to live and wait. Ultimately none of it matters and I'll just be who I am despite what people may think. The world will continue to rotate and the universe will continue to be really, really huge. Life goes on, and so do I.
Well this entry ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be, sorry. Hope I didn't take up too much of your time ;)
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